OneDayWhenTheWeatherIsWarm

A song that I have always loved...finally a download

2008-12-09T23:02:00.000-08:00

Five - Mayda & the Shots

The art that brought the music to me. I'm trying to track down another song "influence" from the same singer.

Check her out on myspace: Mayda

Not a real update...just a video

2008-12-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

Horsefeathers (portland, or)...from their new album "House with no home"
song: curs in the weeds

http://pitchfork.tv/videos/horse-feathers-curs-in-the-weeds

Mystery pee in my bed

2008-10-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

Did R Kelly enter my room and mistake me for a 13 year old girl? WTF?

I awoke at 4:36 am to a giant wet spot next to my dog in the middle of the bed. It doesn't smell like pee, but what else could it be? I assume it was my old dog, but it doesn't make sense. For the record, my dog has NEVER done this before and in the past, she has ALWAYS woke me up when she needs to go.

She was laying asleep right on top edge of the circle...she was asleep when I felt the pee(?) and she didn't move at all while I was figuring out the scope of the stain...large. She didn't act guilty at all and was dry all over her body.

I know it wasn't me as the first thing I did after I yanked the bedding off was go pee.

Thankfully my mattress is dry.

Now I'm wide awake at 5 am with my detective instincts on fire. I'm doing laundry.

Again,

WTF!
----

On a lighter note...I had a great weekend hanging out Lucinda. We saw Religulous (excellent). Thought provoking. I wish every American would see this film. We also saw a good show of speed/punk bluegrass on saturday night.

On a less lighter note...
-my car might be jacked up...my service engine light came on and the engine stalled. It kept cutting out for the next few minutes without shutting down...like it wasn't getting enough gas for the next few minutes. I limped home and spent the afternoon learning about nissan pathfinder engines, local mechanics, etc.... I hope it is something small. I think I'm going to have to take it to the dealer because of their diagnostic software should be more nissan-specific....I did get two independent recommendations for the same mechanic at another business (good info for future mechanical stuff).

-my friend Dou is visiting today from Seattle...of course, he's getting dropped off at my work on the day when I do not have a functioning vehicle.

Well, I'm going to try to go back to sleep.

What a strange 18 hours.

Soft landings in Kansas

2008-10-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

-Getting settled in Lawrence and at the university. Today, I got keys and an ID. My office has a great view...I'm in the top floor of a historic old building.
-Free outdoor music festival last week and heard some good bands...ran into an old roommate at the farmers market who knows my current roommate. Small inbred world. Also saw an ex-girlfriend from ~14 years ago across the way with I assume is her husband and 2 kids in tow. I wasn't in a position to track her down, but I'm sure we will see each other again at some point.
-my house is so 1970s...brick and brown stained panelling. It's very dark and not particularly nice...it's okay. The living room is huge, has new carpet, and is open to a large kitchen. The appliances are dated, but functional. The bathroom has recently been redone and is fairly nice, but smallish. There's a nice screened in porch with two ratty ass, but comfy chairs set up by the roommate. I've been shopping for furniture for the big ass living room...there's no place to sit except the floor and my financial status is temporarily shaky due to the move and Bank of America. I'm waiting for $2200 in checks and reimbursements. I should get a thousand tomorrow, but the remaining will take some time. I can't buy a couch or much else until this money situation is resolved.
-Realizing the university has a fairly dated, poorly managed computer set up for my genetic work, particularly at the natural history museum. Everyone just runs everything off of their own computers and avoids the servers...this is a complete 180 from my experience at UW. People have to jump through a lot more hoops to get their research done at KU vs. UW. Oh well.
-My "Obama" sign lasted about 18 hours in my front yard. WTF! I guess I got a few republican neighbors...despite this being the most liberal town in Kansas. Sign number two went up tonight. I would LOVE to catch the person who took the sign. L.O.V.E. I.T.
-I joined the coop today...(overpriced by Kansas standards...reasonable by Seattle standards). It's basically like shopping at Trader Joes for you three Seattle readers.
-Roommate and I getting along pretty well, still learning about each other and how the other likes to live. She's a serious new ager (but she's not obnoxious about it) and is heavily into native american spiritualism which as a native man and a hard core rationalist makes for some diametrically opposing views. We tease each other a bit about it and I don't think it will be a problem in the future. Ironically, I'm pretty sure that she and I briefly met each other back in the late 90s through my old roommates. I seem to recall thinking that she was REALLY high maintenance and linked such high maintenance to her name,
----- (It's a unique name and I don't want to share it over the internets without her knowledge) . I could be confusing her with someone else too.
-My dog clearly likes the Kansas landscape better than she did the PacNW. She's just a grassland/deciduous forest hound. Tonight we went for about an hour long walk on the river levi that runs behind my house...it was dark and foggy (first day of rain today) and we were serenaded by millions of katydids, a few remnant annual cicadas, and two Great Horned Owls hooting away. I'm getting used to seeing big ass insects and spiders again (the northwest really lacks much for insect diversity).
-I'm meeting my second blog person ever this weekend. It should be fun, initially awkward and other forms of general and specific silliness. Good music and dining will follow. Looking forward to it.
-Another visitor is coming on Monday, a UW labmate/friend is visiting the KU museum.
-Ran into a former student of mine who happened to be visiting the museum today...I helped train him to do biology research...we published a paper on mice together over 10 years ago while he was an undergrad at KU. He has since completely passed me with academic and research accomplishments. He's been doing post-doctoral research in Poland and South Africa studying wild canids and other big mammals for the past 6 years. It was a wonderful surprise.
-I want to go see the movie "Religulous" soon.

Goodbye Seattle

2008-09-27T05:35:00.000-07:00

-On the road to the midwest. Visiting friends along the way...moscow, ID last night, Montana/Montucky tomorrow, Boulder CO on Monday, Kansas a few days after that.

-insanely busy the last 3 weeks...packing, finding a place to live without visiting the place in person, wrapping up lab work, field work in Oregon (amazing trip and fun as hell), a fantastic trip to Cambridge Mass to visit friends...partied a bit...and followed up on some of my Australian bird work with the old advisor at Harvard (can you smell the publications? Ok, I don't know what that means either.).

Highlights of the past month included...catching pocket gophers on Mount Hood, meeting a crazy bunch of drunk golfing rednecks in Dayville, Oregon while I trapped gophers/moles (caddyshack style), paddling with friends in a kayak on Walden Pond while drinking and discussing our sex lives, bicycling through Boston, having a dinner party with 9 Seattle friends in Boston, and being forced to join facebook (actually not that great of a thing. It's fine I'm just kinda bored with the social networking sites. I prefer the more self-indulgent/self-aggrandizing, semi-anonymous blog!).

-I owe a lot thanks to blogger friends in Seattle, most of whom I've never met...Miss Devilish, Pantless in Seattle, Pixie, Terrell. You have inspired me in a variety of different ways with your humor and insight. Thanks.

-saying goodbye to close friends sucked, but I've been in my head about leaving for long enough that it's a relief to moving on. I felt at times like a ghost when interacting with people. Is this the last time I will see them? Should we say 'the goodbye'? Was it organic or forced? Basically, I think I don't like having an unsettled life (despite my career choice). I was in Seattle wrapping up 7 years of my life, taking inventory of things tangible and ethereal (which you do most anytime you move), and preparing for the next thing. The new life. It's a strange place to be for 4 months and regardless of my small worries about moving to Lawrence, I'm glad to be planting roots again somewhere.

-Moving in with a hippy woman in late 30s, an english professor with a big dog. Kinda of cheap looking house, but it has a great location...I will have many bald eagles living in my backyard all winter, there's a nice river, and bike path literally 50' from the backyard. My future roommate and I had some funny e-mail exchanges that alleviated much of my anxiety about living with a stranger...determining if she wore tons of patchouli, was a vegan or PETA member, did a lot of drugs, etc....(the potential deal breakers). I will save about $5000 on rent by having a roommate (I turned down a beautiful 2 bedroom house that I would have lived alone in). It will be good to have someone to entertain my dog too. The lease is only until May if it doesn't work out.

-I will be back in Seattle next June for at least a two weeks...scientific conference (6 days in Alaska) + PacNW/N.California field work combined into a long ass car trip. I'm looking forward to it already.

-I was a little disappointed in Obama during the debate last night. General impression. McCain's a lying douchebag and is reckless as hell, but I already knew that. Palin as vp? are you fucking serious? Overall Obama did fine and looked presidential (whatever that means), I just wasn't inspired like I had hoped and I felt like he was too cool and not feisty enough at times. Most days I think Obama will win. If he doesn't, it's going to be crushing and I'm not sure how I will respond to it. Quite badly I suspect.

-Patton Oswalt on Sarah Palin: "I hope a bear punches her in the cunt."

-October will be filled with weekend fun. Meeting Lu in Lawrence for a Splitlip Rayfield concert, visits from three Seattle friends who have ties to Kansas City and/or the University of Kansas, and a first ever grad school guys weekend in Milwaukee (long story of why Wisconsin involving marriage, young kids, and long-term plan to extend these trips to more exotic places in the future).

-A future trip to climb/caving (spelunking)/camping with friends is in the works...Arkansas to Kentucky. Can you hear the banjos?

-Listening to the new cds by portland based band, Horsefeathers and the new Cold War Kids cd...enjoying both.

trip notes

2008-08-19T02:31:00.000-07:00

-10 days ago, I drove with limited stops to Billings, MT in 11.5 hours...a new record! I made it to the Blues festival and only missed the opening acts. No big loss. JJ Grey and Mofro were great live as usual. My brother and two other family friends whom I hadn't seen in several years randomly joined us. Many beers and laughs were had. We also saw a fun blues band from Wichita, Kansas that I had never heard of...Moreland & Arbuckle. They were a big hit with the crowd.
-At the festival, I ran into a friend from grade school/jr. high/high shool whom I hadn't seen in 20+ years. She screamed "oh my god" so loud and so many times, that I immediately got a feeling of regret for hopping into her path. We did catch up a bit which was fun, but a loud music festival is not the place to chat. During the Mofro set, I was dancing in a sea of people when she drunkenly wrapped me in her arms and rubbed her substantial boobs against my back. I later took a 'silkwood' shower to erase the memory of the bad touches.
-I spent the next day with ~50 mostly distant relatives for a native american family reunion. It was hot and dusty on the reservation, but we found some cool and had a great meal while catching up with people who know my mom's generation and my grandparents. Apparently, they had a bigger extended reunion 3 years ago that had 250 people in attendance. The old photographs and the stories of those pictures were really cool to hear.
-Spent the next 4 days working in the sun as I stained/painted a shed, fixed a shed door, etc.... My brother and I laid carpeting down on my mother's porch (after I painted the trim) and we added some metal edges to make it pretty and more functional (my brother is a sheet metal worker so he fabricated everything). I basically was fixing a lot of small things around the property as well...destroying wasp nests, hanging pictures, realigning garden boundaries that had moved with the freezing earth. Mostly small stuff that my mom shouldn't have to deal with...regardless of her recovery from cancer.
-I managed to break my telephoto lens when it fell off of the porch railing one day. I was planning on taking pictures of Am. goldfinches at close range as they fed at my mother's feeder. Who was the idiot who placed it there and then, hooked the strap onto a chair that was being moved by MEEEEE? The lens was 12 years old, but it sucks to lose a $500 lens. Not sure if I will replace it or wait until I go completely digital with the camera. I don't like my film camera set up at the moment, but I have so much money invested in nice lenses for my research and picture taking fun that i am conflicted.
-On the return trip, I spent a day and evening with old friends in Idaho Falls. Wonderful people and great hosts as always.
-I didn't leave my Seattle house all of Sunday and just slept and watched movies...'In Bruges' was pretty damn good. "Definitely, Maybe" was okay, it had a few nice moments.
-I've been working all night...It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm at the museum. Time to go home, crawl into bed, and get ready for another day of work. I'm going to get on the Kansas post-doctoral research this week and turn in another manuscript for publication/rejection. On Monday, I'll be in the Oregon Cascades and the high desert of Eastern Oregon doing some collecting (if my permit addendum is approved).
-I have a couple of date nights scheduled this week, but I'm not all that excited about them at the moment. During my long-ass drive back from Montana and southern Idaho, I had a lot of time to think about what is ahead of me in the coming weeks. I have a lot logistical decisions to make and little time to do them. I guess the deadlines are finally making me uncomfortable and the desire for a settled existence is calling.

I promised pictures on several posts and I won't go into too much detail on any of them. Pictures are from the wedding, Lopez Island boat trip, etc... Picture titles include Lopez Island house, pretty blue boat, violet-green swallow, Doug+Wendy+Me, Chicks with Douchebags Pose! (The Oleg-cassini women's sunglasses were a huge hit.) Me and the sexual-enhancing Goat weed pills.

Montucky and my sucky writing

2008-08-07T23:35:00.001-07:00

In 5 and half hours, I'm driving to Billings, MT (818 miles) for a week of music, carpentry, and family. I should be asleep, but I'm still wired from packing, eating late, and hanging out at a pub. I promised my brother that I would arrive in time to a blues festival...one of my favorite bands is playing...JJ Grey and Mofro (I'll add some links).

The timing for the trip is not great, but it will have to do. I have a lot of work to get done in Seattle. I'm going to be busy in Montana too....lots of family to see, fixing my mother's porch and shed so they are little more user friendly during the winter months. I will spend at least a day on the Northern Cheyenne reservation seeing family and friends. We are also going to try to visit my late grandfather's childhood cabin (it requires permission to cross some private property and requires a 4 wheel drive). The place is really cool...Sitting Bull, the Lakota chief, and his warriors camped their regularly on the rocks above the homestead and it's a protected site. There are carvings and other petroglyphs there as well.

It's been an odd week...tonight was the going away party for two close married friends (he and I worked in the same lab and finished his PhD at about the same time) is leaving for a job in Massachusetts. Fun and sad. I don't know that we will see each other much in the future...they are not likely to ever leave the northeast and I'm probably not going to live there. I will see them in a month when I'm visiting other friends in Boston and Cambridge.

Other weekly news...I received a rejection letter from a scientific journal on Tuesday...not too surprising, but it always sucks to realize you have to either re-work data or the presentation of ideas for a second time. The primary criticism of the paper was our limited sampling from outside of Washington state...An argument that I fought and lost with my dissertation advisor FOUR years ago (and again 3 and 2 years ago). I wanted to throughout Oregon and into N. California for 3-4 weeks and collect more specimens. He didn't think we needed it. Sucks to be right sometimes. He and I finished another manuscript this week that we will soon submit to another journal. Fingers are crossed.

And yes, I will be using sucks a few more times as I'm not editing any of this...enjoy the typos and run-ons.

Something that does not suck is...my mom is cancer is free! She's had the final body scan and will now be aggressively monitored, but she has a decent chance to beat this sucky disease.

As of next week, I will begin drawing post-doctoral salary...Whoo hoo! I shall go feast at fine restaurant to celebrate. I might turn the night into a date as well.

I've decided that having the PhD has made me at least 10-15% more attractive. Nothing else has changed. Two old girlfriends who were just "friends" for several years have been more involved in my life these past 8 weeks. I feel a bit like a man-whore, but we've talked freely about what this or that means and what it definitely does not mean. Plus, two different people whom I barely know have tried to set me up with their friends even though they know I'm leaving soon. I could have used some of this attention about 12 months ago! And for the record, I nearly broke 190 lbs the other day...I've knocked it down some this week, but it won't be easy getting back to 170-175 with the travel plans (and associated eating/drinking) in the next 7 weeks.

Sucks to be you for having to read this drivel. I promise to better soon. Enjoy a little Mofro music.

3am work break and a cool story

2008-08-06T03:29:00.001-07:00

I promise to update this blog soon...I'm getting pictures back tomorrow of some recent trips and I have stories to share.

Cool 3-4 min video about this famous evolution experiment of selecting for tameness in Russian foxes that began in the 1950s. It demonstrates the likely pathway from which all dogs were domesticated and continues to be an area of interesting genetic research today.

The russian geneticist Dmitri Belyaev, was among a large group of Russian geneticists who were outcasts until the late 1960s...because the head of Russian science, Trofim Lysenko didn't believe in mendelian genetics and would send critics off to prison camps. Belyaev did his work in a small facility in Siberian, far removed from Lysenko's influence.

I want one of these foxes. I will have to settle for my mutt.

exhausted but happy

2008-07-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

Just returned from a 2-day/night hike to Heart Lake in the Olympic National Park. ~20 miles total roundtrip. My feet are sore, I have a nice gash on my calf where I broke through a melting snow bridge (lucky I didn't seriously injure myself actually), a large blister on my 'wee-wee all the way home' toe, and I couldn't be happier (despite a 90 min delay to get on the ferry back to Seattle). Plus, I just had the greatest 20 min shower ever.

Here's a picture...now imagine it covered almost completely in snow. There were patches of clear terrain, but mostly just tons of snow. Creek crossings were tough at times...thankfully (i think) I brought a pair of tevas....so I could carry gear across ice streams without getting our boots wet.

trip highlights-
-saw black bears and mtn goats at close and distant range. And many more critters that only a bio-geek would appreciate. How cool is it to watch a spider hunt flies on top of snow? Ok, I've said too much. I'll stop with bio-nerdfest.
-full moon, jupiter is huge right now. Not a cloud in the sky for two days. the stars were amazing. Today we hiked up another 500 feet into solid snow to the High Divide ridge to check out a campground that I stayed at 2 summers ago for research. It has spectacular views of Mount Olympus.
-Peeing in the woods...which attracts the mtn goats to eat any and all vegetation your pee has splatter on (salt and nitrogren is limited in their diet)...so they loves the pee.
-I wrote my dedication section for the dissertation while sitting on top of the mountains that made the dissertation possible.
-may be the last trip to the Olympics for a long time. Sad.

Pictures to follow. Pee-free pictures that is.
I broke my personal record of the most times I typed "pee" in a blog. I feel so proud.

More camping

2008-07-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Wallace Falls this weekend for a camping (and associated partying) weekend for my friends Josh and Ai's wedding. Here's a picture of them pretending to pose for "chicks with douchebags", another of Josh having his armed loved on by a dog, and finally, a picture from the recent camping/climbing trip to Icicle Creek.

The wedding will likely be the last big gathering of my co-workers before several of us recent graduates head off to post-doc positions across the country. It will be a combination of fun with a touch of sadness. I will miss these people.

I was up until 1:30 last night having a beer and soaking in the hot tub with my friend Wendy who flew in late last night for the wedding. We both awoke at 6:30 am...as I have a meeting with the boss at 9 am. I've been converting my dissertation chapters into the final dissertation format for the binding of the beast into one tome. It's required by the university for the printing of the dissertation, but it serves zero function for publishing scientific articles. Just a hoop to jump through and I couldn't more bored with the process. I will turn in a draft to the university before I leave town today and next week, they will return it with all of the nitpicking formating changes I need to make. Goooood times.

Potlatch and ultimate frisbee

2008-07-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Potlatch defined: The potlatch is a festival or ceremony practiced among Indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest Coast. At these gatherings a family or hereditary leader hosts guests in their family's house and hold a feast for their guests. Gifts are shared.

Potlatch 2008: Leap
Held every July in Redmond, Washington, Potlatch is one of the largest co-ed ultimate tournaments in the world. Now in its 19th year, the event draws teams from across North America (and a few from even farther away) with its potent blend of sun, fun, and ultimate. The tournament always showcases ultimate's unique spirit and some of the sport's most amazing athletes.

I've been playing in this tournament for the past two days..6 games so far. We are composed of people from around Seattle and Fort Collins, Colorado. We lost our first two games as we were learning on the fly to play together, but now we've won 4 straight games going into today's final games. We are a bunch of old timers mostly...lots of late 30s-early 40s veterans. Smart players (not including myself here). It's a been a lot of fun. The tournament is HUGE...600-700 players on 25-30 fields at the same time. It's been an awesome experience. Everybody is wearing costumes, playing games all day, and then giving gifts afterwards. Last night there was a massive salmon feast and free beer at the Red Hook Brewery.

Our team is based on the movie, "the big lebowski'. So we are drinking a lot of white russians, giving away a lot of white russians, and many on the team are doing an occasional sideline 'J". I can't get high and be coordinated...I don't know how people do it. Movie quotes are being tossed around all day during and after games. Needless to say, we are quite popular with other teams. Also, because we are such an old team...we make our white russians with lactaid which is not quite like we are adding geritol to the drinks, but it's in the ballpark.

Because we won our pool yesterday, the competition should be much higher today. I'm leaning against playing today as I tweaked my achilles tendon/calf on the first day. My only real function is sprinting down field to catch the disc so without a fifth gear, I become a really limited player. Yesterday, I spent 25 minutes getting my calfachilles massaged at the first aid tent so I could play. I've been icing and soaking in the hot tub when I get home each night. In fact that's where I'm headed now. A morning soak in the tub to warm up the muscles. I have to be careful as this is the same injury that sidelined me for 9 months recently. Game time is 90 minutes away.

Sometimes it sucks to be a sports fan

2008-07-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

I'm buried in a computer lab with no cell phone reception. Trying to finish a genetic analysis and I'm listening to sports fans bemoan the loss of the NBA basketball in Seattle. 41 years of fan support gone.

I'm not even a Sonics fan, but I am a fan of basketball and sports in general. I could talk endlessly about the problems with NBA business model, the game itself, tax payer funded stadiums, priorities of cities/states, and the emotional energy of following professional sports. It's just brutal to listen to hear people with broken hearts talk about something that has given me so much personal joy.

It's also a weird experience to try to explain the value of sports to my sports hating friends. I don't have the words to explain the visceral experience, the happiness of watching something so simple as a rotating ball swishing through a net. I can't do it and it makes me a little sad. Secondarily, it makes me wonder about my effectiveness as a teacher. How do convince people to understand your perspective?

writer's block distraction

2008-07-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

Cool video of a Tom Waits song. I particularly like this line..."Come down off the cross, we can use the wood." Yeah, it might be offensive to sensitive christians, but I don't think any such folks read this blog.

Here's an interesting instrumental cover of one of my favorite Tom Waits song: Gun Street Girl.

Falling James in the Tahoe mud
Stick around to tell us all the tale
Well he fell in love with a Gun Street girl
And now he's dancing in the Birmingham jail
Dancing in the Birmingham jail

He took a hundred dollars off a slaughterhouse Joe
Brought a brand new Michigan twenty-gauge
He got all liquored up on that road house corn
Blew a hole in the hood of a yellow Corvette
A hole in the hood of a yellow Corvette

He bought a second-hand Nova from a Cuban Chinese
And dyed his hair in the bathroom of a Texaco
With a pawnshop radio, quarter past four
He left for Waukegan at the slamming of the door
Left for Waukegan at the slamming of the door

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

He's sitting in a sycamore in St. John's wood
Soaking day-old bread in kerosene
Well he was blue as a robin's egg and brown as a hog
He's staying out of circulation 'til the dogs get tired
Out of circulation 'til the dogs get tired

Shadow fixed the toilet with an old trombone
He never get up in the morning on a Saturday
Sitting by the Erie with a bull-whipped dog
Telling everyone he saw, They went that-a-way, boys
Telling everyone he saw, They went that-a-way

Now the rain's like gravel on an old tin roof
And the Burlington Northern pulling out of the world
Now a head full of bourbon and a dream in the straw
And a Gun Street girl was the cause of it all
A Gun Street girl was the cause of it all

Well he's riding in the shadow by the St. Joe ridge
Hearing the click-clack tapping of a blind man's cane
He was pulling into Baker on a New Year's Eve
One eye on a pistol and the other on the door
One eye on a pistol and the other on the door

Miss Charlotte took her satchel down to King Fish Row
Smuggled in a brand new pair of alligator shoes
With her fireman's raincoat and her long yellow hair
Well they tied her to a tree with a skinny millionaire
They tied her to a tree with a skinny millionaire

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

Banging on the table with an old tin cup
Sing I'll never kiss a Gun Street girl again
Never kiss a Gun Street girl again
I'll never kiss a Gun Street girl again

I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home
I said John, John, he's long gone
Gone to Indiana, ain't never coming home

My new bike and camping pictures

2008-06-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

Who wants to ride to the redhook brewery and around the Lake Sammamish? Time to lose that dissertation fat!

Here are some pictures from last weekend on Icicle Creek near Leavenworth. We randomly camped below a fantastic spot high on a flat rocky top over the river. Great views, a cooling breeze, and eye-level with treetop birds and mammals. I nearly fell asleep watching the stars on Saturday night. More pictures to come tomorrow.

Chapter One is submitted.

2008-06-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

I need a gin and tonic!!
-------------------
Dear Dr. Welch,

A manuscript for which you are listed as co-author has been submitted to Journal of Biogeography. The manuscript reference is: Historical biogeography of pocket gophers in disjunct alpine and lowland habitats in the Pacific Northwest of North America (JBI-08-0285)

As a co-author and author of correspondence, you will be contacted further regarding this manuscript.

Thank you for your interest in Journal of Biogeography.

Regards,

Mrs. Sue Stokes
Editorial Assistant
Journal of Biogeography

How Darwin won the evolution race

2008-06-24T01:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/jun/22/darwinbicentenary.evolution

Great article about Alfred Russell Wallace, who independently came up with the idea of Natural Selection. He shared his ideas with Darwin who realized to his horror that he was about to be scooped! Wallace is considered one of the greatest field biologists and the founder of biogeography, my own field of study . He's a hero to field biologists everywhere.

Graduation, Family, A job offer, Moving?

2008-06-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

-Did the graduation thing this past weekend. 12 family members in town for 5 days. Here's some quick thoughts....

-My mom looks reasonably good given all the chemo and she wears an adorable welders cap. Her wig didn't look "right" to me when it was on, but I think that was due to my own search image of her. She held up well over the weekend (my siblings and I made sure to keep her from doing too much...trust me, this was a full-time job.).

-My brother's live-in girlfriend of 6 months was very annoying. They've been dating for a few years so I thought I knew her well enough. She seemed fine each x-mas that I was in Montana. In Seattle, she kept introducing herself as my future sister-in-law until my brother finally asked her stop. I thought my Mom was going to strangle her after she took a 35 min shower one morning (and averaged about 15-20 min showers on the other days). Hello, five other people are in the house AND it effing wasteful. I could wash a circus elephant with less water and shorter time.

-I found out my aunt and uncle don't tip. Very embarrassing. I returned to the cafe about an hour later and gave the waitress $15. They are really nice people and are generous in so many other ways. It was surprising.

-Graduation day was fun. Quincy Jones was a rambling mess of inspirational stories, poorly delivered jokes including one out of the blue saucy joke, and ultimately not that entertaining. He's a lot shorter than would have guessed.

-Spent a day on Whidbey Island with the family....saw lots of bald eagles and other critters. It was sunny up north while Seattle was enveloped in clouds. Good day all around.

-Native American Graduation ceremony was really moving for the family (and me too). We ate a traditional salmon dinner. Fantastic meal. I was given a beautiful signed print from PNW artist Marvin Oliver (http://www.marvinoliver.com/). He paints a picture each year for graduation, signs framed prints of the painting for every Native American graduate at UW, then destroys the original picture. Here's a picture of me shaking his hand and receiving my picture. I also had the opportunity to address the crowd and thank some friends and family in person. I gave the picture to my mommy. She cried.

-Below are three photos of post-defense party at my house (~2 weeks ago). There are ~100 pictures...and most are from early in the evening when the drunkenness of the crowd was low. These pictures were taken around 7pm...the party went until 4am on two consecutive nights. It was an evening of hats for me...Bill Murray hat, pink 'Super Princess' hat, a tiara at one point, and wool cap because it was cold as hell. We ended both nights with a fire pit in the backyard, smores, and the hot tub.

-Found out on Monday that I've been offered a 3-year post-doctoral position at the University of Kansas. Decent pay (more than doubling my annual salary) and a great career move. If I take the position, then I will be leaving Seattle by Sept or Oct first. Sadness. I have to admit that I wasn't very excited initially. I would love to stay in Seattle, but I have nothing else job-wise in the pipeline to keep me here. The research I plan to do will bring me back to Oregon and Washington periodically, but it will be a huge life change to return to the midwest.

-Back to editing chapter 3.

I'm officially...

2008-06-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

a doctor (PhD that is)...as of last Thursday that is. I'm finally back to normal in regards to sleep.

Lots of friends and family were present. It got a little dusty in the room when I talked about my mom and the rest of the Montana family (they weren't present, they will be here in 12 days for the graduation ceremonies). My father and his wife of 27 years was in town (it was his 75th birthday in fact and saturday was their anniversary).

Long story about the whole experience. I'm not sure that I want to write about it at this point. It's a better tale told over a beer. It was mostly a fun experience. some pretty funny stuff happened prior to and during the actual dissertation defense. at one point, I had an audience of 50+ science nerds laughing until milk came out of their collective noses. good times.

I hosted two large parties on thursday and friday nights in my house and back yard. It was really cold both nights and we created a fire pit for both nights (yes, I did chop wood while intoxicated/exhausted and did not lose a toe/finger). Both evenings ended around 4 am in the hot tub. There was a salsa dancing from 1-3 am on the second night. There was a bet on how late into the morning I would last on both nights and I outlasted them all. Friends from Boston, Milwaukee, Vancouver bc, and Oklahoma city flew in. We ate and drank big. Pictures will soon follow.

Here's a picture of the co-workers early on thursday evening....

Pant hoot

2008-05-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting in Zoka (coffee shop) being reasonably good today…working on a beautiful sunny day. I didn’t work much yesterday as I chose to lay out in the sun, read, and get a nice burn/tan.

I was just interrupted from my dissertation editing by a grown ass man wearing headphones sitting at the next table. He’s in my direct line of sight so I couldn’t miss his outburst. I briefly thought I was being watched for my reaction to this guy. I was looking around…where’s ashton?

Here’s what he did…out of the blue, he rhythmically started stomping both of his feet in unison (high stepping stomps), followed by arching up with his head slightly back mouth agape like a chimpanzee pant hoot (I don’t get to use that phrase nearly enough in my daily life. It’s a damn shame, I tell you).

He continued this pant hoot for about ten seconds while moving his head slowly from side to side like a water sprinkler. It was spectacular. Such a shear expression of musical joy…social acceptability be damned. I am always bemused by such open expression of raw emotion. Sports and intimate relationships are typically the only places you will see such naked emotion from me. And for the record, I don’t start chanting “Defense” or am I prone to frequent high fives during coitus (unless of course, we are playing ‘sack the quarterback”…ooops, I think I said too much. Let’s move along. Quickly.)

I admit that I enjoy watching these reactions in other people…actions that I typically won’t allow in myself. People are reserved in general and in general, that is a good thing. I don’t want to be around a society of people emoting at level eleven at all times.

I just thought I’d share. He just did some more chair dancing. Good times.

Now back to editing chapter 3.

Kiddie Pool Deep Thoughts....

2008-05-12T22:53:00.000-07:00

I defend my dissertation in 16 days. I have written the bulk of my dissertation. Minor edits and final formating for particular publications are the remaining issues. I know there are many other little things to do, but I'm relaxed about these activities.

I spent the last 48 hours getting the last bit of data for another non-dissertation project/paper in order. This new research is pretty cool and is the culmination of an idea I had 4 years ago. It has some interesting implications for the recent evolutionary history of Australia as told by 7 widely distributed bird species.

In preparing for my 45-50 minute talk, I realize that I'm spending little to no time thinking about how I'm going to present the research. Perhaps I'm too comfortable with the science story...I don't know. Where have I been spending my time? I've been spending more time thinking about the end of the talk. The section whereby acknowledgments, pictures of family, friends, etc... are presented. For other students, this is often poignant, powerful, and emotional for the person and the audience. I've been thinking a lot about my life during my PhD. I'm not sure I would completely recognize the person who started this process.

I probably shouldn't be too pensive about this moment. But a large part of me realizes, it is a big moment. But I also view this moment as just a necessary step in my climb, it's not the peak of my accomplishment. I have soooo much more to do before I'll be professionally content.

The past two years have been a struggle on the personal front...some of which I've covered on this blog. I have a few regrets, but I did the best I could given the situations. I try not to lose a lot of sleep over my past...learn and move on. I am looking forward to starting a new relationship with someone. Who dat be? Good question.

I should wrap this up.....I worked late tonight, made dinner, paid some bills, and wrote this blog. I now have an insistent cat and dog attached to my hips. Clearly they are feeling a little neglected. I guess I have my cuddle partners for the night. My roommate is not animal fan. She's mostly indifferent to the animals. I such a biology dork that I struggle to understand people who don't have some sort of connection to cats or dogs or a garden, etc....

I've been having a lot of fun playing softball and ultimate frisbee. I've been running around Green Lake every other morning and tomorrow is a running day so I need to get some sleep.

Good night kiddies.

A really interesting article

2008-05-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

It's a little long, but it's worth the ride. You might prefer to read it from the New Yorker website.
Covers a lot of great topics about scientific discoveries, a Seattle company, our concept of "genius", etc.... Dinosaurs, the invention of the telephone, cancer, nuclear energy, art/literature...so take a bracing hit off your nerd inhaler, push the glasses up on the bridge of your nose and enjoy a read.

The author is semi-famous for writing two best selling books, "The Tipping Point" and "Blink". Also great reads. do the wikipedia thing on "the tipping point" and malcolm gladwell.

--

IN THE AIR
Who says big ideas are rare?
by Malcolm Gladwell
MAY 12, 2008
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/12/080512fa_fact_gladwell?currentPage=all

The history of science is full of ideas that several people had at the same time.

amazing picture

2008-05-09T01:31:00.000-07:00

I found a copy of the picture that won first prize in the fine arts competition at the minnesota state fair last year (I blogged about it). Read the explanation of the story/picture.

"the day after he bit her" by Heather Matson

“The Morning After He Bit Her,” received first place at the MN State Fair Fine Art Competition 2007. The image is the morning after we spend several hours in the ER putting her face back together after our family dog attacked ... not bit, but attacked her. The dog in the background is the offender. He was a great dog, but the trust was broken and we ultimately had to do the responsible thing. He was eventually put-down by our vet after this image was taken.

What prompted me pick-up my camera? As I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen unclear if I awoke at from my nightmare. The fog in my mind was still so thick yet as I watched my daughter’s interaction with our dog through the screen door the message became clear to me. Strangely, my daughter wasn't scared of the dog and at that moment my daughter reminded me of forgiveness and how incredibly innocent she was, and still is. Even in this moment in which she should have showed fear or hate… she never did. She forgave. She had no idea how to hate. The day the dog attacked her, my daughter nearly lost her innocence. I know I can’t protect her forever.

There are strong reactions, positive and negative, which means that the image is hitting individuals very personally and emotionally hard. I find that very interesting and I am proud to have been able to stir the same emotional stages in strangers that my family had experienced. In the end, the reality of life isn't always fair and easy to look at...

1 am and wide awake music

2008-05-09T00:36:00.000-07:00

Pretty song.

Joe Henry 2007
"god only knows"

Darkness settles on the ground
Leaves the day stumbling blind
Coming to a quiet close
And maybe just in time
We almost lost the heart to know
How to keep our best in mind
We almost lost the heart to know
How to keep our best in mind

Time has turned an angry face
Throws a dark eye back to sea
What will pass for mercy now
We practice unforgivingly
As if might and will make right
Or either one will make us free
As if might and will make right
Or either one will make us free

Lovers laugh and cross this way
Weaving out and into the street
It seems we never were so young
Or it was never quite so sweet
But the world is always beautiful
When it's seen in full retreat
The worst of life is beautiful
As it slips away in full retreat

God only knows that we can we do
No more or less than he'll allow
God only knows that we mean well
God knows that we just don't know how
But I'll try to be your light in love
And pray that is enough for now
I'll try to be your light in love
And pray that is enough for now
I'll pray that is enough for now
I'll pray that is enough for now
I'll pray that is enough for now
I'll pray that is enough for now

Quick report

2008-05-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

-I turned in a draft of my last chapter to my dissertation committee. After being a shut-in for a couple of months, I went out and got a little drunk last night. Felt good.

-My mom's cancer continues to get its ass kicked. Round 3 of chemo started today, ca-level in her blood is now 20.5 which is considered normal. Whoo hoo! I'll catch up with her completely this weekend.

-I've been playing some ultimate frisbee and softball...I'm slowly getting into a rhythm of working out. I haven't gained any weight, but I'm soft.

-Shopping for a road bike...thinking I will dump $1000 on a bike. A pre-graduation gift to myself. I'll save some gas money too.

-still waiting to hear about the post-doc position I had an interview for...I'm guessing that the lack of any report is not a good sign. C'est la vie!

-Generally excited about spring and summer to come.

time is a lion when you are a lamb

2008-05-02T21:13:00.000-07:00

here you go

If you fear the angels above while you sleep
Then I'll be the blood, you paint on your door
Your dream is a worry that nothing will keep, but
time is a story and there will be more

Your dream is a worry that nothing will keep,
but time is a story and there will be more

and death in disgrace can seduce anyone
that needs to believe there’s judgment at hand
or God may be kind and see you like a son, but
time is a lion when you are a lamb

Or God may be kind and see you like a son, but
time is a lion when you are a lamb

The years see the best of intentions and greed
they come without shame, they'll leave you with some
men become old when their hurt becomes need, but
time is a lover and your time is young

Men become old when their hurt becomes need, but
time is a lover and your time is young

The sun is a soldier, out crawling the hills
setting fire to every house that’s in view
lighting the ruin of my hope and my will
till I’m like a shadow and I’m falling on you,
crawling on you..
Oh you know how I do..

So sleep here with me and I’ll keep you close
for now while i try to live up to you
You can’t see the challenge of this I suppose, but
time is a dare and I’m trying to

You can’t see the challenge of this I suppose, but
time is a dare and I’m trying to

time is a dare and I’m trying to
time is a dare and I’m trying to
time is a dare and I’m trying to

Declining Cancer Numbers!

2008-04-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

My mom started round 2 of chemotherapy yesterday. I have a great photo of her (now bald) on my cell phone: she's wearing a jamaican rasta hat with long-thick dreads. Good times. I'm too html limited to add an excel chart of the declining cancer numbers or the photo. Here's the breakdown.

Cancer-antigen (CA) test results 35+ is generally accepted as being bad!! A CA-level below 20 is the safe zone.

CA Level
Pre-surgery level: 200+
Post-surgery level: 60
Round 1 Chemotherapy: 31

A bad cold leading to insomnia leading to this movie quote

2008-04-09T04:03:00.000-07:00

Loretta
...How'd you sleep?

Bell
I don't know. Had dreams.

Loretta
Well you got time for 'em now. Any-
thing interesting?

Bell
Well they always is to the party
concerned.

Loretta
Ed Tom, I'll be polite.

Bell
Okay. Two of 'em. Both had my father.
It's peculiar. I'm older now'n he
ever was by twenty years. So in a sen-
se he's the younger man. Anyway, first
one I don't remember so well but it
was about money and I think I lost it.
The second one, it was like we was
both back in older times and I was on
horseback goin through the mountains
of a night.

...Goin through this pass in the moun-
tains. It was cold and snowin, hard
ridin. Hard country. He rode past me
and kept on goin. Never said nothin
goin by. He just rode on past and he
had his blanket wrapped around him and
his head down...

...and when he rode past I seen he
was carryin fire in a horn the way
people used to do and I could see the
horn from the light inside of it.
About the color of the moon. And in
the dream I knew that he was goin on
ahead and that he was fixin to make a
fire somewhere out there in all that
dark and all that cold, and I knew
that whenever I got there he would be
there. Out there up ahead.

Then, I woke up.

Mommy update, etc.....

2008-04-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have to make this quick:

-My mom has had a horrible time since her initial surgery...long-term prognosis is better than was initially predicted.
Here's the laundry list of post-operation problems:

recovered from first major operation, but had a couple of days of vomiting/diarrhea, followed by a day or two of feeling better, pattern repeated...became dehydrated and returned to hospital for a day/night. Feeling good and wanting to start the chemo- the doctors plunged on ahead with part 2 of her treatment.
Chest port-line for future chemo-delivery was started at the hospital, while inserting the chest port...surgeon screwed up nicked an artery AND punctured her lung which proceeded to collapsed, emergency surgery to make sure no bleeding into her lungs was occurring, and the 'she might not make it' talk was given to my brother and sister. Another week in the hospital, periodic vomiting/diarrhea continues, followed by good days. Goes home for two days, shaves her head, starts chemotherapy....more periodic sickness follows, back in the hospital for dehydration, etc.... The vomiting/diarrhea is finally the total focus, after undergoing an abdominal CT scan and scheduling an endoscopy to see if there was intestinal blockage...we have a diagnosis...Norwalk Virus. No endoscopy or exploratory surgery needed. Of course, where do you get this virus? Effing HOSPITALS (and the occasional cruise ship). She's feeling better these past 2 days, they seem to make her finally better. She's spent 5-6 days at home in the last month. Brutal.

Here's the best news: her cancer level in her blood at this point is really low (before chemotherapy)...so chemotherapy should be successful. The CT scan should no new cancer growth since the operation. She's in the earliest stages of the chemotherapy and there's more hurdles to cross, but there is more optimism about the future.

-On to me, myself, and I:
=I'm battling a chest cold/cough...I've been sick way too much in the last 2-3 years. I feel fine, but the cough sucks.
-Tomorrow night, I'm giving an hour long public talk in Port Angeles for the Olympic National Park Lecture series (you are all invited of course). I'll be talking about my research on alpine Pocket Gophers, Snow Moles, and other critters that inhabit the Olympic Peninsula. Hey!! WAKE UP!
-I schedule my dissertation defense date May 29th. Fucking scary. Family is coming for this event or the June 14 graduation ceremonies.
-I've applied for a 3-year post-doc position that may mean I leave Seattle in August. I would be teaching some at a tribal college while doing more genetic research on furry little shrew-moles. Decent pay and benefits...although that is relative to my current income. Having experienced this one time before, the doubling one's income is a dramatic change in life-style, let me tell you. Fingers are crossed.
-My sleep schedule is all fucked up because I'm working all the time and I'm driven by absolute deadlines. Saturday night I stayed up until 5am because I was being so damn productive. I did take a me evening last week, cleaned my house/rearranged furniture, made dinner for an attractive friend, watched a DVD, and soaked in the hot tub while drinking a beer. Although I got my cold the next day. Correlation?? I don't know, but I can say I'm tired of using sciencey words like 'correlation'.
-NCAA basketball tourney...Kansas plays for the championship tonight....I'll be at the alumni bar with 200+ crazy fans cheering and groaning at over-grown manchildren in long shorts. Good times.

Gotta go!

a new addiction

2008-04-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.free-tv-video-online.info/internet/movies/

Some Documentary films I liked

2008-04-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this on Yelp.com discussion...thought I'd share it here. they are not in any particular order and

-Hoop Dreams....fantastic film. It's in my top 10 movies. Period.
-The Thin Blue Line
-Incident at Oglala
-The Aristocrats
I know a handful of women who loved this film, the rest hated it. Watch for the negative reaction around the 15 minute mark. Good times.
-The Yes Men...hilarious film.
-Rivers and Tides...slow, but I still love watching the process and admire the work.
-Murderball...It got a little dusty in the theater at the end of the film.
-American Movie
-King of Kong...oh the injustice.
-When We Were Kings...Boomayeh Ali! Boomayeh Ali! Boomayeh Ali!
-Born into Brothels...I have two biologist friends who worked with the director on her amazonian insect photography project...she apparently a pretty awful human being. Bummed me out a bit.
-Capturing the Friedmans...crazy film...I've never seen an audience break into an all out public discussion after a film before.
-Spellbound

Here's some obscure Native American documentaries. You'll have to do some work to find. I own a few of these.

-A Century of Genocide in the Americas: The Residential School Experience...about how Indian Residential Schools in Canada became a haven for institutionalized sexual abuse. Powerful film.
-White Shamans and Plastic medicine men
-Half of Anything...asks the question: what is a real indian. I know the director.
-Maria TallChief....about America's first prima ballerina. Great film and story...amazing footage of ballets from the 1940-1960s.

My busy week and my mom kicks ass

2008-03-07T15:09:00.002-08:00

-Today my mother had surgery. They removed a 90% of a massive tumor that was adhered to her abdominal wall and the outside of much of her abdominal organs. Thankfully, the tumor has not been internalized in any of her organs. The surgeon was happy with the level of remaining cancer and he was confident that she has a great chance at a full recovery. She will have a generalized treatment of chemo instead of the localized port delivery due to the large size of the tumor. Despite the obvious post-op recovery and upcoming chemo, the surgeon was certain that she will feel significantly better after the removal of such a large tumor. The source of the discomfort that forced her into the hospital in the first place. Another reminder that my mom is tough as nails.

I'm hopeful, but still very worried. Early tests did not see a giant tumor. I would love to talk to the surgeon/oncologist on why they missed such a thing.

-Today, I submitted a chapter of my dissertation to my committee and the rest of lab mates to critique. I should be excited about getting 2+ years of work into a manuscript, but I'm tired and numb at this point. I am sure I will feel better about the writing later...right now I just need a big nap and an evening of drinking with friends and strangers.

-My birthday was Tuesday. I didn't really celebrate it though...I was pushing hard with the writing, dealing with my family, and it was a Tuesday. I didn't let my friends take me dinner. On Saturday night, a friend is having his 6th annual hip hop party and I will be drinking/dancing, then to celebrate the birthday, the manuscript, and the reasonably good news about my mom. That's a lot to celebrate over a 40oz of malt liquor. I think I can handle it.

Here's another reminder that my mom kicks ass. Three days before her surgery, she made and sent me two loaves of banana bread plus a huge batch of chocolate chip and M&M cookies.

-Yesterday, my friend Doug flew to Seattle from Boston to ski and party with our friend in Vancouver, BC. They kidnapped me for lunch at Nana's Soup before heading to Canada, and they delivered two very sweet gifts: a bottle of Hendrick's Gin and a banana. The latter to make light of my barely alive relationship with 'E'. Good times.

-As for the "relationship", we talk on the phone most days and see each other about 1-2 times a week. I'm fine with this level of commitment at the moment.

infantile and ignoble expressions of joy

2008-02-28T17:10:00.000-08:00

From today's ESPN.com writer, Bill Simmons: I love this section of the posting (complete link below):
-----------
Nobody has ever summed up being a sports fan better than The New Yorker's Roger Angell in his piece "Agincourt and After," in this passage about Carlton Fisk's famous home run in the 1975 World Series:

"It is foolish and childish, on the face of it, to affiliate ourselves with anything so insignificant and patently contrived and commercially exploitive as a professional sports team, and the amused superiority and icy scorn that the non-fan directs at the sports nut (I know this look -- I know it by heart) is understandable and almost unanswerable. Almost. What is left out of this calculation, it seems to me, is the business of caring -- caring deeply and passionately, really caring -- which is a capacity or an emotion that has almost gone out of our lives. And so it seems possible that we have come to a time when it no longer matters so much what the caring is about, how frail or foolish is the object of that concern, as long as the feeling itself can be saved. Naivete -- the infantile and ignoble joy that sends a grown man or woman to dancing and shouting with joy in the middle of the night over the haphazardous flight of a distant ball -- seems a small price to pay for such a gift."
----------

For the complete post (it's pretty long): http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080228&sportCat=nba

Simmons compiled a summary of messages from over 3000 e-mails in less than 24 hours from Seattle Sonic fans expressing their feelings about the likely loss of 41 years of NBA basketball in Seattle. The compilation of messages are funny, bitter, sad, and powerful expressions of emotion. I will admit that it started to get a little dusty in my office when I watched the youtube clip of the fans cheering so loud in 1996 that you couldn't hear the announcer (before the game even started!).

I raise a glass to infantile and ignoble expressions of joy.

Montana news

2008-02-26T18:07:00.001-08:00

-Talked with my mom and my brother today about today's visit to her oncologist/surgeon. She's have the big operation on March 7th. There is some good news and optimism based on the cat scan. The surgeon was well liked and provided some comforting opinions and information to my family. I'm glad that both my brother and sister were able to go to the appointment. More ears to process information, ask questions, and remember what was said.

-I may have found a post-doc position for next year. I need to find some money for the research project, but I would have a decent salary and teaching opportunities. Details to come later.

-'E' and I have had a couple of additional state of the relationship conversations. We've barely seen each other in the last 10 days. Everyone's cards are completely on the table. We laid our respective issues with each other. I've told her that I'm not interested in 'working' very hard on a 3.5 month old relationship. We should be having more fun. My family and dissertation are where I prefer (and need) to devote my energies. Additionally, my life could be radically different (job, where I am living, etc...) in the next 6-12 months.

-Enjoyed the oscars the other night. Need to see Juno and Atonement at some point. 'No Country For Old Men' was a well-deserved winner...I've spent a few week long trips bird watching, trapping rodents, and camping across west texas. I love that open country. Reminds me of eastern Montana...Big Sky Country. 'Michael Clayton' was also incredibly well acted. 'There Will Be Blood' was good and well acted, but I didn't think it was a great film. The story was not that interesting actually.

-One movie rental recommendation: GREAT documentary, highly entertaining.
'King of Kong: a fistful of quarters'
http://mx.youtube.com/watch?v=xMJZ-_bJKdI&feature=PlayList&p=E0F5B8F9C97BA9B0&index=0

sweet. semi-sweet, and sour

2008-02-18T20:39:00.000-08:00

First the sweet: This weekend my father sent me some pictures of me when I was 16 and 17. My little brother (about to graduate from college is sitting on me) and my Seattlite sister is in the other picture.

Here's some pictures of a recent day playing in the snow, cross-country skiing, etc... with "E".

----------------------

Now for the sour:

On Friday, I learned that my mother has a large tumor, likely ovarian cancer. We don't know too much at this point about the extent of the cancer. She's having a biopsy next week and that will dictate the future treatment scenarios. Based on her blood work, it's not the worst case scenario, but it's not good either. She's got a long, painful fight ahead of her. Needless to say, my two Montana siblings and I have been in numerous conversations with our mother and each other (fyi: Montana siblings share the same mother...the siblings in the above photos, we share the same father.).

I really need to finish school asap so that I can honor my mother's never ending emotional support while I chased advanced degrees and avoided a traditional career. I need her to see me earn a PhD. As she said to me today, she doesn't know what condition she will be in the next few months. I owe this to her.

My mom is strong and has a lot of family close by. I'm worried and realistic about her future, but I'm (and most importantly, SHE is) still optimistic.

To finish on a somewhat better note: Now for the semi-sweet.

I'm still dating "E". We spent two days in Leavenworth for valentine's day, we spent the afternoons cross-country skiing. It was a fun trip, we ate well, and the skiing was great. We got along quite well....other than an odd argument she started as soon as we hit the highway about the trip details and the lack of set schedule (after a tense discussion about money and what our respective time is worth to each of us, she finally admitted that she wanted to know exactly what we were eating for lunch. She thought I should have made sandwiches for the trip.). I could go into more detail here...but the memory of it gives me a headache.

Our communication has continued to be strained at times. I was talking with a close girlfriend about this relationship and she thinks I should get out now. I have to admit that I find myself thinking about being single again. I just don't think we are quite a right fit. What do we share: we are 36-37 years old, healthy/fit, ready to settle into a long-term relationships (family/marriage), have fairly bright financial futures, our physical chemistry is great, but we really see the world quite differently. I have a bunch of semi-sweet and semi-awful stories about arguments we've had over bananas, apples, use of coupons, planning activities and setting a detailed schedule, comedy, films, germs, driving, energy conservation, and money. I think that's a fair list at this point. Trust me I could continue with the list. Good times.

ON a final positive note....I'm going solo with ~12-15 friends to Mount Baker this coming weekend ('E" has to work on weekends). We have a huge house rented...massive deck and hot tub/sauna. I will ski again, maybe go sledding, and definitely will drink too much. The group going loves to party late into the evenings. It should be a lot of fun.

sicky

2008-02-05T17:36:00.000-08:00

I have the flu. I've never felt this bad before....brutal aches, headache, chills and a bad fever.

I have a big writing session with the boss tomorrow. Not sure if I can make it.

Potassium and Bananas

2008-01-28T22:43:00.000-08:00

I played basketball tonight and while warming up, I sent a behind the back pass to a teammate and immediately felt my tricep cramp up into a tight painful ball. I spent the rest of the night trying to stretch that bastard out. A classic old man injury.

I guess I should eat more bananas! Needless to say, I did not share this story with 'e'.

I'm slowly getting back into basketball shape...I've lost 4lbs in the last 10 days. I know it's not water weight because it's been consistent for a week now. I hoping to drop another 6-7 lbs and start tightening things up again. I'm so glad that my achilles tendon and calf are injury that plagued me for EIGHT months seems to be nearly completely healed.

Sucks to be getting old.

Family 'yoko' and another lame list

2008-01-27T23:18:00.000-08:00

I'd like to apologize to my few readers...I haven't written a complete story of bit in months. I don't have the interest to actually attempt to write a tight, coherent story. Instead you get another brief bit of ramblings:

1) Told the complete banana story (see previous post for a brief mentioning of it) to a few friends and they all think it's hilarious. They all love the little details. Bastards. They also thinks it's ridiculous too. I will share the details to anyone willing to buy me a drink, but it's too tiresome to type out the story's minutia.

My married friend, Brett was particularly pleased by my telling of this story and relating my recent experiences to his own marriage. His wife, to put it politely, is challenging to be around at times (Fyi: I've only met her around the wedding and she was great, but he calls me regularly to talk about relationship troubles. She's been on meds for most of her adult life and apparently, they don't always work for her.). They have done a ton of couples counseling and have been fairly happy with the results.

As for my status with the relationship, I'm still figuring that out. I think it's fair to say that so is "E". She's happier with the state of things than I am. Given my behavior and feelings in past relationships, I can say that at this point, "i'm not in love." Clearly it's early for those feelings to be finalized, but I can usually tell when things are heading down that path. This might change...I'm trying to remain open minded, but the other day, I began to think about my posting about "finding nice". I'm gonna re-read that when I get done here.

2) The pseudo-dad (I'm not sure what to call him exactly...I love him to death. He's my mom's first husband and post-divorce they have remained friends. I have his last name and grew up calling him 'dad' even though he's not my biological father who I also call "dad". Confused yet? Good.). ANYWAYS, he apparently has come out from his religious conversion weekend and sent a thank you note to the 14 people who wrote to him (my letter is on its way in the mail)...HOWEVER, the return letter he sent was some christian fundamentalist form letter than had maybe one sentence written by him...the rest is just a listing of right-wing religious propaganda that uses language (vocab/syntax) and arguments that he has NEVER expressed in his life. I haven't seen the letter yet...The letter included statements about god punishing us for our sins on Sept. 11th. My sister and brother (he's their biological father) were more optimistic about this religious conversion thing than I was and sadly, both were sickened by the letter. I will call him this week (although he's notorious for being difficult to contact)...to talk to him about what he experienced. I won't challenge him on any of this conversion...I just want to hear him describe it. Until I hear him talk about the experience, I can't really have a sense of what changes he is undergoing. I still think a lot of positive things could happen, but I am VERY worried. I would also love to have a heart to heart conversation with his girlfriend, but it's probably not appropriate to try from afar. She might be the family 'yoko'.

3) Watched "Eastern Promises" tonight with my old roommate and buddy, Kimberly. Got the fireplace roaring and ate popcorn with a dog and a cat sacked out between us. It was nice. Good story, well-acted with some crazy violence (one scene was unnecessary violent and unrealistic)...I'm recommending it to all my female friends for the scene where Vigo Mortensen fights two guys while he's buck ass naked. Lots of flopping of testes and penis...surprised to see a male actor do such a thing exposed scene for a movie. Although harvey keitel is an exception, never ever rent "the bad lleutienent" or "Holy Smoke"...the latter filmed i was grossed out by both a naked Keitel and a naked Kate Winslet who peed on herself).

4) My sister (in Montana) made 9 native american purses for my boss/PhD advisor out of tanned deer hides. His father (now in his 90s) had shot and prepared these beautiful soft hides in the ~1950s. He asked me if I knew anyone who could sew or design something...I mentioned my sister has sewn a few tribal dresses (she's self-taught). Amazing pieces...there's horse hair, sinew, torquoise sections on it. I should take a picture of them. Basically, he thought it would cool to have a pouch/purse made out of the hides for each of the 9 grandkids. I owe her big. It was a lot of work, required her to buy and learn how to use some new tools for working with thick animal skins, etc... I'm thinking an hour massage might be a nice gift for her.

5) Bedtime...I'm finally about to finish Sherman Alexie's new book, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. Great book. It made me homesick for Montana....hard to do that anymore.

6) After working all weekend in the lab, I might skip work for a few hours and go see the afternoon showing of either "Atonement" or "there will be blood". Followed of course, by some cheap sushi at Musashi's.

bananas and fisticuffs?

2008-01-26T01:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight I started a 24 hour experiment that calls for rinsing 54 samples with a chemical every 3 hours. I started at 6pm tonight.

Today i went x-country skiing (beautiful sunny day)...skipping work for much of the day! I also got into an argument with my possibly soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend about a banana that i refused to eat (yes, a f-ing banana!), and tonight, I went to a friend's exhibition of early native american photography and Yakima indian artifacts at the burke museum, then I had a few drinks at the Reservoir pub (my first and likely last) with 2 girlfriends WHERE after being in the bar for less than ONE minute, I nearly got into a fight with a relatively large, and what I quickly realized, was a mentally ill man who apparently has a history of starting fights at this bar. He slammed in between one woman and I and sat down in the barstool between us as we were ordering. He then began mumbling a few incoherent thoughts to my two women friends. I leaned in close to is ear and said excuuuuse me and quickly got ready to get in my first fight in nearly a decade. He mumbled something about us being a bunch of fucking leeches towards the women. The bartender (a small woman herself) aggressively told "Shane" to calm down and threatened him to not cause any trouble. I stood awkwardly with my fists ready to the side while our pitcher of beer was poured. He wouldn't make eye contact me until I was on the other side of the bar whereby he continued to give me the evil eye from across the bar for the rest of the night. Good times,

I need to write a long blog about the relationship with "E". I've been talking with a number of friends about it. I guess after my divorce 6 years ago, I really value the perspective of my friends on who I date. I like a lot of things about this woman, but I have growing doubts about our future...I don't think she's ready for a healthy committed and sharing relationship. It's a long story and I doubt I could adequately describe her positive and negative features without the list sounding trite. Fyi: I've NEVER had this much conflict with someone I was dating. We communicate in radically different ways.

I also need to finish writing a letter to my ex-step dad (he's kind of a pseudo father figure...another long story...I have his last name, but he's not my biological father) who has been undergoing a recent religious conversion via his girlfriend. She asked me to write a letter of support as he undergoes a weekend long retreat (eg. religious indoctrination?). I like her a lot....she's a MD neurologist and makes the old man happy. I knew she was religiou. Fyi: I'm an atheist and I've thought a lot about religion in my life and it's impact on societies and in my own family. My first response to hearing about a friend or family member undergoing a radical life change ~religious conversion is...uh oh. It's the same reaction I would have if someone I loved started experimenting with drugs...it could be truly harmless, it could even be beneficial to their own personal growth, but regardless I'm worried. I don't want to rain on his potential person growth or write a letter that says more about my beliefs and doesn't support him, but I also want to make sure that he's not going off the deep end. I don't know ANYTHING about the group he's getting religious instruction from...It could be relatively harmless or it could be awful. Regardless, I want to take this opportunity to remind him about the greatness of his independent thought, his creativity, etc.... I know that late in his life he has expressed regrets about his limitations as a father, his excessive drinking/womanizing, and other things that need not be said here. But if you knew the environment he came from (extreme poverty in rural Montana, horribly alcoholic parents who died early, he and his brothers were raised almost entirely by a sister who became 'the mom' at age 15)...I'd like to remind him that he could have done a HELLUVA lot more damage than he did. He did alright....all things considered. Again a long story that I am giving short shrift here.

It's time for another rinsing of my samples...Good night!

Ick

2008-01-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

Picked up a stomach illness last night and it's associated good times. I felt okay this morning until I ate. I've eaten a scrambled egg and a carrot today. I'm still can't make myself eat or even drink water.

This sucks ass.

I ignored a phone call from Darlin T. because I didn't want to cancel hanging out at the last minute. Luckily, she cancelled on me first!
--------
Oh and the hermit guy who rents the apartment downstairs (nice guy actually, but I only see him about once a week to say "hi"). Last night and today he invited himself up to watch football and movies. He's been in my living room for 5 hours straight. It's kind of weird. He knows that I am sick.

Ok, I'm done feeling sorry for myself.

there's a kitty on my lap...no, really there is.

2008-01-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

It's midnight, I'm wide awake, and at my home for the first time in three nights. My dog and I've been shacking up with 'E' a lot lately. Yes, I have toothbrushes at two houses. I'm still processing some of my feelings about this new relationship.

Today I finished up a 3-day experiment in the lab (not an experiment in the traditional sense), but a 4-day protocol that included one 24-hour period of changing solutions every 3-4 hours. I will know tomorrow if the bulk of this work is successful. I have to repeat this 4-day process an additional 2-3 times in the next few weeks. One chapter of my dissertation (my last one) is largely dependent on the success of these experimental DNA extractions.

Thursday...After working a long day in the lab (where I have no cell phone reception...important later in this blog), I was debating whether to join Tom, my ex-roommate/fellow KU alumni at a sports bar to be with other Kansas alumni. 30 minutes before kickoff, I finished up my lab work and contacted Tom about joining him to watch the game. Just before we were about to go, another friend, chris, e-mailed me (a former UW PhD student who now teaches at Butler University in Indiana) and said he was in town for one night and wanted to get together. Tom and Chris are smartasses and always fun to watch sporting events with so we agreed to meet at the Ram for drinks, dinner, and to watch the KU game. I expected Tom's wife and Chris's fiancee (both close friends of my mine as well) to be joining us (they didn't). Ironically, we ran into another UW ornithologist at the Ram...four ornithologists getting together. What are the odds?? We watched the Kansas Jayhawks get an upset win and I enjoyed having a few beers and talking about a new faculty position at the Burke Museum (another ornithologist friend is a finalist for the job). We talked a lot of trash, drank a few beers, and ate a bunch of appetizers. Good times.

On my way to the Ram (and with cell reception finally), I called 'E' to check in about seeing her later in the night and find out about her day. She was running errands. I also told her about my spontaneous gathering of my two friends and the Kansas game. I invited her to join us at the Ram for dinner and drinks. Her response led to an argument. She said that she would come, but she interpreted my lack of/short notice as a clear sign that I didn't really want her to join us. I was pissed and told her so. She continued to argue with me about her perception of the situation vs mine. My inability to call her from the lab is a problem for her. We went back and forth for a few times...I finally hung up after telling her that she MIGHT have a leg to stand on IF this was a pattern of passive aggressive behavior whereby I was 'inviting' her to events just before the activity. But this has not been the case. WTF! She text messaged me later with a nice note and we saw each other later that night...although we didn't talk about the argument either.

I mentioned in the previous blog and this one now that 'E' and I argue a fair bit. I'm not use to this kind of verbal, high emotion squabbling over (mostly small) things. I've never dated any one who I argue with this much and to be honest, I've yet to start one of these arguments. I will say it's not boring, but I don't particularly like it either.

We have a few other issues that we talked about some: none of these are deal breakers at this point, they are just odd to me. Despite my tone on this blog and my general willingness to poke fun at most anything, I have never given her any grief about her views on these issues.

-she's a bit of a germaphobe and slightly ocd about it (my view...so take it for what it's worth). After petting her or my dog, she often has to wash her hands, particularly before any physical activity between us. However, this is not always consistent nor has it been in the past. For example, she used to ecology research and go days without a shower/soap/etc...
-she's taking classes for certification and gets paid as a xray, CT scan, and MRI person....BUT she won't stand in front of her microwave went it is on. She states up front that this is odd and it is not based on any medical data.
-she refuses to ride in a car if the driver has had ANY alcohol. A glass of wine or a beer with dinner is included in this rule. This can make going out to a nice restaurant difficult. Either she or I have to agree to not drink, walk to the restaurant/party, or cab it. We've talked about this once and logic has no bearing on her view, nor has she experienced any alcohol-related traffic tragedies. I've never been drunk around her before. Actually, I can't remember the last time, I was drunk. It's been months. She just flatly states "you are altered." As a biologist, it's such a bizarre extremist view point. I mean...you are altered after you ingest food too. I might be more dangerous after an ice cream cone then when I've had two happy hour drinks. She wants to discuss this more in the future. Goooood times ahead.

Friday night I went to the Pacific Inn pub for dinner and happy hour with 4 of my co-workers. We haven't gotten together much in the last 6 months. We had a lot of fun AND after 3 pints and fish tacos, I drove. So that, I could meet up with E and our mutual friend, Celia (it was her housewarming party where E and I first met).

Saturday morning, I surprised my friend Lola at work...I found out thru a friend that I ran into at the bar on friday night that Lola was helping out her old boss and tending bar for the Seahawks game at McCoy's Firehouse. This place has a decent breakfast buffet and so after i dropped 'E' off at work, I went for some free breakfast and some Lola hugs. It was really nice to catch up her...it was right at 8 am so the place wasn't too crowded yet and of course, she took care of me. No charge for breakfast or my cranberry. I spent the rest of the day in the lab and then, napped on my couch as I tried to get caught up on my sleep that I lost during the 24 hour solution changing stage.

Lola showing off the big vagina symbol.

Saturday night, E and I made a nice late dinner together. I bought a nice bottle of red wine and we steamed and then, sauteed butternut squash, steamed kale and carrots, and spinach raviolis.

-Other news...
-I've got a meeting this week with a professor about joining my dissertation reading committee. Mostly a formality, but an important logistical requirement. I need to also set my defense date soon and check my committee members calendars.
-Tuesday: my ex-roommate and close friend, Kimberly is returning from her field work in ecuador to spend 1-2 quarters in Seattle before she goes back into the field again. I'm picking her up at the airport and she might stay at my house next week for a few days while she looks for a semi-permanent place to live. Tough life in some ways. She's been gone for big parts of the last two years (and will likely be gone again next year). She was talking about how hard it is to maintain grad school friends when you are gone so much. Luckily, her boyfriend runs the field station where she does her field work so she has a decent support system while she's away. From personal experience, I can say that field work anywhere, especially living in the mountains of Ecuador for 6 months a year makes for a particularly difficult 6 months you spend in Seattle. Adjusting to life outside of being in the field 24-7 takes time and is often very disorienting. Here's Kimberly from last spring.

-I'm applying for a post-doctoral position at the university of kansas that would involve teaching at the tribal college/university that I previously taught at. I've got mixed emotions about potentially leaving the PNW, but I have to be open to any and all J.O.B.s beyond this summer. This is not the only thing I will apply for...it's just the first thing.
-my sister returned her cat to the house. He spent the last 3 weeks with his two mommies (Boo has two mommies!) on their houseboat (where the boat sits...they are not allowed to have a kitty). He's been attached to me for the last four hours...which my dog does not like. Pet drama!

-Bed time!

update from Montana

2007-12-27T22:33:00.000-08:00

More bullets:

-feeling stronger today...throat is still sore and I needed to take a power nap this afternoon. Taking off for Seattle in the morning.

-had a good conversation with my sister and her daughter (separately) about college application process. I think my mom and my sister's father (yeah, I have an odd family relationships) talked to my sister about getting her act together on the funding situation. SAT and ACT prep books have been purchased and registration for the exams as well. My neice and I exchanged e-mail and phone numbers. I'm optimistic. Everyone's heart is in the right place so that is a good thing.

-My dog has chased so many rabbits in the yard this week that she has re-injured her torn acl and is now limping badly. Shit. I spent 15 minutes on-line tonight checking out leg braces for dogs. Sucks. I don't want to do the surgery, but I hate to watch her hobble around on three legs. She's happy though.

-I've eaten so much meat in the last 6 days. I grilled 9 T-bone steaks (marinated in garlic, onions, terriyaki, and honey) tonight for the family. Not exactly outdoor grilling weather, but everyone was happy with the results. I ate a huge T-bone tonight. Meat dominates every meal. My mom had her usual 12-15 different kinds of cookies...there's tupperware filled with cookies everywhere. I'm afraid to hop on a scale.

-Went to the Thursday night boxing fights at an old-time movie/theater....it's pretty run down place, but it was filled with folks drinking miller lite cans and throwing crumpled dollar bills onto the boxing ring floor for the bikini-clad round card girls before and during the fights. We watched 6 amateur boxing and one mixed martial arts matches (3 rounds maximum...boxers wore headgear). Pretty entertaining actually. My brother came up with a way to keep everyone interested in watching strangers beat each other up. We gamble on the fights...one dollar each. We randomly select the fighters and the round of the knock-out if it happens, or who wins the decision by drawing a single card before each fight. It sounds complicated, but it's not. You end up cheering for a knockout in a particular round or yelling for a guy to take a few more punches and get a decision. I won 3 of the 7 matches so of course, I enjoyed the game more than the rest of my family. Now I have 18 one dollar bills in my wallet. I can barely fold the wallet over.

-Bedtime...early to rise to get on the road.

Montana beauty and germs

2007-12-26T23:54:00.000-08:00

-the beartooth mountains were stunning today from my mother's house. Beautiful state.
-there were ~25 cedar and 2-3 bohemian waxwings eating berries from the tree in the yard today.

-I spent 2.5 hours in the immediate care clinic today...I thought I had strep, but instead it's a bad case of (likely viral) tonsillitis. It started when I arrived 4 days ago...a general lowgrade sore throat that I usually get from being in the dry-ass montana air and my mom's need to keep the furnace roaring. During the first night, I removed THREE blankets from the bed that has flannel sheets. My nose is like a box of triscuits each morning...sorry about that, but it's fairly accurate.

-been an okay trip...no major family drama. I did have a tense conversation with my older sister about not helping her high school senior daughter prepare and plan for college. I don't know if did any good and I'm not sure how much of this i want to get into here. My sister barely finished high school and has taken NO interest in guiding her daughter through the college process. She's been willfully ignorant about even educating herself about the application process. Also, my sister's highly educated/wealthy husband of 3 years is playing NO parental role in this either. No money from him, but more importantly, no support through the process. Their combined income is too high for her to get any financial aide. Despite having a brother (me) who is a veteran of the college/university process and who used to teach at a college, I've never been asked for advice. I've periodically shared my willingness to help previously. I'm the first person in my family to finish college...I learned the hard way about loans, scholarships, grad. school. I know how to find money.

After a 30 minute talk with my niece while we wrapped presents, I learned more about my niece and my sister's relationship than I had ever would have guessed. She desperately wants to go a 4 year university, is interested in childhood development and psychology, and has no clue about how she's gonna afford it. For the record, she has not taken much initiative to find out more about college and claims her counselor is an asshole. My sister has encouraged her to be a nurse and to take technical classes in town to become a nurse...which is great, but she's 17...encourage her to be a fucking doctor...aim as high as possible. No one knows what the hell they want to do when they are 17. I wanted to scream. My sister was pissed at me, but we talked again x-mas day. I explained the financial aide situation and the options she has before her. I told her that I was good for $1000 a year towards her college and maybe more (if I get a real job after the PhD).

My niece has 3.7 gpa, national honor society, has skills as a ballroom dance teacher and clogger, and is an enrolled Indian. Her SAT scores (which were sadly awful...below the 20 percentile overall) and she has not applied to a single college nor was anyone in my family aware of the SAT/ACT deadlines, the application deadlines for universities, financial aide, how or who was paying for college, ect.... It was so frustrating.

I felt like an asshole telling my niece to get out of Billings (there's a small local commuter university...high school with ash trays). I encouraged her to apply to Montana State or even Univ. of Montana (it's probably too late for many out-of-state schools and the funding issues become a bigger problem). I told her about the fun times it can be to live in the dorms and fully experience college life.

Between talking with a couple of other family members, I think I have opened their eyes to the situation and I hope people will be reminding my sister and my niece about the deadlines. I will be curious to see how it all plays out and I will be as involved in the process as they want me to be. Note: my sister and her daughter have not talked to each other yet despite my conversations with each independently.

-I should talk about my growing relationship with "E". I'm tired now and should sleep...so I will make this brief. We've been dating about 2 months now and we are still in that intense, honeymoonish phase where most everything is endearing and fun. I like her a lot and she definitely likes me. I won't go into details here. We are both older than 35 and have had a few talks about the future already. Kind of surprising given the newness of the relationship, but given how things have been going, our ages, and my general awesomeness (including my famous modesty), it seems reasonable.

However, I do have some concerns about our long-term compatibility. She's a strong personality (which I like), but she can be surprisingly pushy in ways that she's not always aware of (I don't like). She occasionally rubs people the wrong way (including me) with her strong and possibly inflexible opinions. We have talked about this on a few occasions. Some of these issues are related to her being from the east coast and me being from the west, but it also has to do with her having a fairly dysfunctional family (and yes, I see the irony of my previous 5 paragraphs about my own family).

I could share a couple of other stories that may or may not portend to future troubles....nothing even approaching a serious problem, but just oddities. Only one out of four of my married guy friends thinks I should 'run for the hills' (all four live out of state and knew my last two significant girlfriend/wife). I haven't yet shared the stories with my female friends....Jenny, Julie (aka doodie, big booty), and Lola. Despite what I just wrote, I haven't been spending a lot of time "thinking" about every minutia of this relationship. I'm just having a good time and looking forward to spending more time with this pretty amazing woman.

Traveling home

2007-12-18T21:47:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Darlin' T for inspiring this post.

It's that I time of year. I've been thinking about my trip across the mountains to Billings on Friday and the associated return home too. 20th high school reunion this summer...probably won't go, but long lost friends have started tracking me down. T

I am a Montanan first and foremost despite the fact that I have now spent over half of my life outside of the state and at the moment, I have no plans on ever living there again. The stench won't wash off.

My fingers are crossed for good weather and dry roads across the mountains.

Save travels and happy holidays to all three of you readers!

Update, Malcolm Gladwell interview and blog link

2007-12-11T16:20:00.000-08:00

Update:
-Stuck in the lab and the Burke Museum a lot lately...skin extractions for DNA has started. Need to be successful or I will struggle to finish the PhD this spring. Pressure is on.
-dating "E" from previous post...mostly great time...everything is new and exciting. A few odd personality quirks that I've yet to bounce off of my friends for their reactions. I don't typically prod my out-of-town friends for their perspectives on a woman they've never met, but they knew me, my ex-wife, and were incredibly supportive when I went through the divorce. I'll write more about 'E' later when I get to Montana.
-9 days before I head to Montana...a lot of x-mas shopping to do, but I'm ahead of schedule relative to most years. It sucks to have a big family and to be poor.

Listening to a lot of podcasts and movies while I work.
Gladwell...Interesting guy all-around...his love of science and sports makes me suspect that he and I would probably get along pretty well.

Link to his blog:
http://gladwell.typepad.com/gladwellcom/

Great ~15 min podcast on his recent New Yorker article on the issue of race and IQ:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2007/12/17/071217on_audio_gladwell

an interesting article...Thomas Freidman

2007-12-07T16:52:00.000-08:00

Intercepting Iran’s Take on America

By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Published: December 5, 2007
There are two intelligence analyses that are relevant to the balance of power between the U.S. and Iran — one is the latest U.S. assessment of Iran, which certainly gave a much more complex view of what is happening there. The other is the Iranian National Intelligence Estimate of America, which — my guess — would read something like this:

To: President Ahmadinejad

From: The Iranian Ministry of Intelligence

Subject: America

As you’ll recall, in the wake of 9/11, we were extremely concerned that the U.S. would develop a covert program to end its addiction to oil, which would be the greatest threat to Iranian national security. In fact, after Bush’s 2006 State of the Union, in which he decried America’s oil addiction, we had “high confidence” that a comprehensive U.S. clean energy policy would emerge. We were wrong.

Our fears that the U.S. was engaged in a covert “Manhattan Project” to achieve energy independence have been “assuaged.” America’s Manhattan Project turns out to be largely confined to the production of corn ethanol in Iowa, which, our analysts have confirmed from cellphone intercepts between lobbyists and Congressmen, is nothing more than a multibillion-dollar payoff to big Iowa farmers and agro-businesses.

True, thanks to Nancy Pelosi, the U.S. Congress decided to increase the miles per gallon required of U.S. car fleets by the year 2020 — which took us by surprise — but we nevertheless “strongly believe” this will not lead to any definitive breaking of America’s oil addiction, since none of the leading presidential candidates has offered an energy policy that would include a tax on oil or carbon that could trigger a truly transformational shift in America away from fossil fuels.

Therefore, it is “very likely” that Iran’s current level of high oil revenues will last for decades and insulate our regime from any decisive pressures from abroad or from our own people.

We have to note that obtaining open-source intelligence in America has become more difficult, because traditional news shows have become more comedic and more comedic news shows more authoritative.

For instance, CNN’s nightly business report is hosted by a man named “Dobbs.” Real journalists come on his show and present transparently propagandistic stories about immigration and trade and then he fulminates about them, much the way our ayatollahs used to do about “Satanic Americans” on late-night Iranian TV. So viewers have no real idea what’s happening in the U.S. economy.

Meanwhile, at 11 p.m., something called “The Daily Show,” which appears on Comedy Central, has fake journalists presenting what turns out to be the real news.

Yes, our last I.N.I.E. in 1990 concluded that after the collapse of communism, America was on track to become the world’s sole superpower and most compelling role model for Muslim youth — including our own. We were wrong. We now have “high confidence” that America is on a path of self-destruction, for three reasons:

First, 9/11 has made America afraid and therefore stupid. The “war on terrorism” is now so deeply imbedded in America’s psyche that we think it is “highly likely” that America will continue to export more fear than hope and will continue to defend things like torture and Guantánamo Bay prison and to favor politicians like Mr. Giuliani, who alienates the rest of the world.

Second, at a time when America’s bridges, roads, airports and Internet bandwidth have fallen behind other industrial powers, including China, we believe that the U.S. opposition to higher taxes — and the fact that the primary campaigns have focused largely on gay marriage, flag-burning and whether the Christian Bible is the literal truth — means it is “highly unlikely” that America will arrest its decline.

Third, all the U.S. presidential candidates are distancing themselves from the core values that made America such a great power and so different from us — in particular America’s long commitment to free trade, open immigration and a reverence for scientific enquiry wherever it leads. Our intel analysts are baffled that the leading Democrat, Mrs. Clinton, no longer believes in globalization and the leading Republican, Mr. Huckabee, never believed in evolution.

U.S. politicians seem determined to appeal either to the most nativist extremes in their respective parties — or to tell voters that something Americans call “the tooth fairy” will make their energy, budget, educational and Social Security deficits painlessly disappear.

Therefore, we conclude with “high confidence” that there is little likelihood that post-9/11 America will, as they say, “get its groove back” anytime soon.

Who needs nukes when you have this kind of America?

God is Great. Long Live the Iranian Revolution.

Turkey travels

2007-11-19T17:34:00.000-08:00

-I'm off to lovely Oklahoma City tomorrow at 6 am flight. I'm packing clothes and checked out the weather...79 degrees tomorrow, followed by 40 high, windy and raining. Good times.

-My old roommate from 2 years ago has agreed to take care of the animals...both the hound and the cat love Siri so it will be good. The entertainment value of my house is high enough that I usually don't have a hard time finding caretakers...flat screen TV (an issue for someone who lacks a TV), the fireplace, and the hot tub. Wonderful lap kitty and cuddly cancer dog are also typically welcomed. Dog is doing fine...she still limps and other than the shaved throat/chin area, she's behaving the same.

-I still have to finish packing, grab some additional research items from work, chop some wood, and visit my friend 'E' who's birthday is on Wednesday (buy flowers, finish with card and burned CDs). My relationship with E is worthy of its own blog, but suffice to say, I don't know what we mean to each other. My gifts for her birthday are sweet, but is really cheap and only semi-romantic. Not what I wanted to do...but the gift I know that she would have liked...was too much money for her (she's really, really, REALLY frugal which is an general issue for me.). I'm a student, I manage my small budget, but I do not sweat small purchases...you only live once. Like a said, this could be its own blog. Gotta go.

-Good food awaits...and gallons of red wine...10+ Italians pounding red wine, watching football, playing the annual basketball games, scrabble, and watching a matinee on Friday. I will also get some good natured ribbing about not being married, not being done with the PhD, and why I dumped the med. student who they all loved. That last sentence sounds a little awful...it's
not.

-another blog could be written about the mixed meanings of Thanksgiving to Native Americans.

-To all 5 of my readers...have a wonderful thanksgiving...safe travels to you all.

Dog update and my $87 Pebble

2007-11-14T21:11:00.000-08:00

Dog is home...groggy, but slowly gathering her old personality. Tumor was removed. We'll know in ~10-14 days about the status of the type (grade) of cancer...this will dictate much of her future care including whether or not to have a future knee surgery. Apparently, my dog has now blown TWO ACLs in past 3 years. I never would have guessed that my dog would have two ACL surgeries before I had one. I'm glad that I was able to pay for everything today without breaking out the credit card.

The other part of the title is in reference to my Nissan...out of the blue yesterday afternoon, my car started making an awful grinding sound when I was driving (the grinding stopped when the wheels stopped). It was so loud that people on the street and in their yards were turning around to watch me BEFORE I drove passed them. It was brutal. I quickly figured out that it was likely my front brakes So after dropping off the hound this morning at the vet, I dropped my car off for the day at my mechanic, Japan Auto on Aurora (Mike the mechanic is honest and fast). He took the calipers and other associated housing around the brakes and guess what he found...a small rock wedge between the brake pad and the rotor...how big was the rock you ask? About the third of a pencil eraser and shiny from the grinding. The bill was $87 and yes, I kept my new pet rock. I ask you world...do YOU own an $87 pebble?

As a result of parking my car, I had to take the 48 bus a couple of times to Capital Hill and to the University. Both times I had strange bus people encounters. #1: Last night there was a clearly insane young man who was talking a stream of gibberish for the bulk of the ride. #2: This morning I hopped on the 48 at Green Lake with my big ass laptop bag filled with chapter one papers...it was not crowded and I put my big ass laptop on the seat next to me. As we got closer to the university the bus began to fill up so I knew that I would eventually need to put my laptop on the floor between my legs to free up a seat. So at the next stop as another half dozen people were boarding, I finally moved the laptop to between my legs and was holding the shoulder strap at the next stop...in doing so, I looked up to see who my seat might be taken by...at that moment, two african-american men passed me (one college aged man and one middle aged suit wearing businessman...I doubt they even knew each other as they didn't sit together). I didn't think anything of my actions of moving my laptop from an open seat to the floor beside my legs, until I looked across the bus to see a college age African American woman who was shooting me daggers. Daggers. She was clearly pissed at ME. I started to do the anger math...she thinks I moved the computer to because two black men walked onto the bus. It felt like a Seinfeld episode. The liberal guilt thoughts rose up..."some of my best friends are...Brett, Chris...I was in their weddings...Defending my liberalism. I'm an enrolled Indian, I am not a racist!!" I made eye contact with her at one point, but I have no idea if our non-verbal communication did anything to change her observation.

I finally decided it was kind of funny, kind of sad, and the result of two very liberal people (this woman and I) projecting our independent issues on a harmless, unintentional action.

My dog, crossing fingers, and a general update

2007-11-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

Just got back from the vet, my dog is to have a Mast cell tumor removed from her glottis area AND they will find out which ligament is blown on her knee (she blew her other hind leg knee 2+ years ago). I literally just got out of credit card debt last month...fuck. $800 for today and tomorrow and ~$1700-2200 for the future knee surgery. I guess I will be using my college loans to pay for the surgeries and not paying off my car like I had planned. I can afford the 2-3,000 dollars, but I just went from being comfortable with plenty of money for x-mas, a vacation in January/February, and all my future bills to a potential struggle. Gotta finish that dissertation and get a job.

Dammit, I wish I didn't love my dog. All I know is she's fairly happy, wants desperately to go for her daily walk despite a significant limp, and is pain free. I have no desire to put my (or any) dog through a bunch of surgeries or chemotherapy to eek out another 1-2 years at the end of her life (she's 40lbs, just turned 10 years old). I have my fingers crossed that the tumor is not a bad one (unlikely based on the type and location). She may live another 5 years, but quality of life is a huge thing for me. Fingers are crossed.

There's a bunch of other things going on in my life these past 6 weeks that I have meant to write about, but I spend much of my day writing the dissertation or thinking about writing the dissertation. Writing anything substantial seems trite and of low interest.

-I've been dating a fair bit...nothing too amazing to report. There was one woman who I decided was going to just be a friend, after a few weeks of little contact...she seems to be pursuing me now. She's been calling me...We spent Friday afternoon together on Cap. Hill, but I just don't know about this one. Seeing each other again this week. I went out with a different woman last week, we knew each other a bit through some work and sports colleagues. The first date was a lot of fun...good greek food and conversation. Very bright, beautiful eyes...much smarter and more accomplished than I. Very impressive person all-around. A spontaneous follow up dinner on Saturday was a dud for the most part. She may be leaving town for a job in the coming weeks. I had a lot of optimism for the future on Thursday, it's tempered now.
-Scraped, mudded, and painted my bathroom in the past week...looks a lot better. Although the color of the trim looks bad (color was not my choice).
-I'm playing ultimate frisbee again and running around Green Lake. The ankle is still sore afterwards and generally stiff, but I think that is just how it will be for awhile. I'm about 80-90% back to my old self and I've been scoring a couple of times in each game which bodes well for the future. The frisbee teammates seem to be happy I'm back which is nice. I still need to improve my cardio...I have one running buddy for GreenLake, but she is off to South America for a month so I need to dredge up another running compadre...applications are being accepted.
-I've got a funny/odd story...I have a woman friend who I see in occasionally at social settings. We talk, give each other some shit, and usually have a drink. Nothing else. A close friend of this woman apparently doesn't like me and has passive aggressively interrupted conversations and then, stepped in front of me while continuing to talk. I'm left staring at the back of this woman's head. The first time, I thought it was odd, but they are close friends so I didn't think much of it, she had something important to tell her friend. But she did again twice at the next function, WTF? I just started laughing at her while she did it the last time. I was about to start lobbing shit at this woman and call her out a bit, but I got grabbed by another stranger (they were drunk) and it was quickly forgotten as another conversation began. At the end of the night, my conversational intruder went out of her way to give me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Again, wtf. I think she trying to domineer me! She peed on my leg and then left.
-traveled to a national conference and gave a talk, found a few post-doc/job possibilities.
-gave a public mammal talk that was very well received
-Not much else to say. Fingers are crossed about the cancer and surgery tomorrow.

Proud Athiests

2007-10-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2007/10/15/pinker_goldstein/

Great interview.

update

2007-10-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

dammit...wrote a long update and it got lost...too late to re-write.

I'm off to a scientific meeting tomorrow.

Journey vs Destination?

2007-09-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

I recently read Ian Frazier's book, On The Rez about the current Pine Ridge reservation Indians. There is a story in there about a few guys fixing a car and the entire day became about finding a part, driving around, having a few beers, seeing friends and ultimately not fixing the car but having traveled and engaged in a process. This is living.

I find this is definitely an indigenous perspective.

Tight pants and flat asses

2007-09-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

I realize that I'm too damn old to be a student. I've started complaining about loud music, my sciatica, and drafts. Actually, just the first sentence is accurate. But I do have a short rant that applies to a segment of the seattle hipster scene...

-I cannot stand the sight of another person wearing the skinny tight pants? Come on people, I don't want to see jeans that tight on anyone. Even if you have a great body, all I can imagine is the blast of hot crotch air that must be released when you take those pants off. Ladies, you are apt to make bread in that crotch kiln, and gentlemen, there are more effective ways to cut your sperm count by 99%. AND who likes a flat butt? Seriously, you look ridiculous and if you are even 10 lbs overweight, then everybody gets to see you as a muffin top with a potential side of flattened ass crack.

There, I feel better now.

It's 4:30 in the morning...

2007-09-17T04:35:00.000-07:00

and I'm making some good progress on my project. I took a break and ran into this free podcast that I subscribe to.

So here's a little morning music and video.

Ola Podrida "Run off the Road"

http://www.joeswanberg.com/runofftheroad.mov

update

2007-09-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything for the last couple of weeks. I basically haven't felt like doing the blogging thing of late. I spend a lot of my recent weeks thinking about and actually writing a dissertation chapter/manuscript. I just want to turn the composition/writing part of my brain off at the end of the day. Part of this turning my brain off involvesTV/movies: I watched the first season of Weeds last week. Great show. I'm about to start Season 2.

I will do a list of my recent activities.

-Labor Day weekend, camped for 2 nights in the Cascades with 4 friends. Beautiful weekend, I laughed so hard that I was crying at several points during the weekend. Good times. I have to admit It was still a little odd to see 3 of these friends participating in a open relationship together. They have been together for about 9 months. I haven't been around such alternative relationships before. They are by all measures very happy together. The only crappy thing about the trip was dealing with the 12 spiders (yes, 12) that crawled into my tent at bedtime, the realization that these friends are moving to Vancouver and Boston for academic jobs, and I rolled my rehabbed ankle walking along a creek.

-Ankle is still sore (~10 days after the fall). The soreness is in the same place that I previously fractured 3 years ago and I'm a little worried that I might have a tiny fracture at the sorest spot. After a week of rest/ice/hot tubbing, I went ahead and started jogging around a small section of Green Lake and my neighborhood. I have achilles tendon rehab on Thursday and will find out how things are doing then. I so f'ing tired of dealing with this injury.

-I've been introduced by my friend Terrell to the world that is Yelp.com. Very odd experience for me. At times I think it is a brilliant idea and other times, it seems so trite. It's definitely a diversion from thinking about biology so I guess it's been a good thing. After a month, I've been given some elevated status as an "elite" yelper for my brilliant restaurant reviews and general excellence, but that was to be expected, right?

-I agreed to repaint my bathroom in exchange for a month of free rent from my sister. It will take a lot of time as there are a lot odd angles and tough to reach areas to scrub the walls, scrap away any old paint chips, primer, and paint (including a different color trim). I will have to work around keeping the bathroom function for showers, etc....

-The following story probably deserves a blog of its own. Pictures are coming at some point.

my roommate had a rugby party at the house this weekend. Maybe 30-40 people were at the house, mostly women rugby players and other friends. I knew less than a 1/3 of the people. When the drunk rugby women showed up, they immediately jumped into the hot tub sans clothing. My small deck was covered in clothing. Needless to say, there was a fair bit of bad-naked and a few really good-naked people running around the backyard. I wasn't too drunk, but the party was big enough that I missed seeing a lot the craziness and most of the nakedness. The 80-90s pop music was blaring and the keg was flowing. At one point while I was talking with my oldest Seattle friend Jill on the deck (also a rugger), I was asked to help Jill's very attractive teammate (good naked) find her keys. Apparently she lost her the keys around the hot tub and deck when she flung off her clothing (she was dressed at this point). This 'help' involved me hanging onto her torso and lowering her head first between the hot tub and deck and then, raising her up again. She was extremely happy (eg drunk) for my help and gave me a big hug while copping a feel of my abs and then, ass. While still hanging on to me, she complimented my fitness (admittedly it felt good to hear since I haven't played sports for 6 months). I assumed that she was probably gay like the majority of the rugby team and I went with the smartass line, "don't touch me". She quickly let go of me and then realized I was kidding...which led to punch to the arm and her stumbling off. Jill and her boyfriend thought this was hilarious, but quickly informed me that she was straight and single. The girl and I talked later that night and I got her phone number. I talked to the roommate about her and it turns out she's only 24. Too young so I won't try calling her. Her interest was good for the ego. Ironically, she also lost her cell phone at the party too (danger of flinging clothes!) and had to return the next day to the house.

The party eventually spread into my bedroom (adjacent to the hot tub and deck) and at one point, there were 9 mostly lesbians sprawled on and in my bed. Later, this included the activities of one gay women grinding on a straight girl with 4 other people talking on the bed. Yes, I changed my sheets before I went to sleep. No hepatitis for me! Earlier, I had to move my laptop out of the room and hide it, because drunk people kept putting beers on it or right next to it. Hello people! There's a $2500 piece of delicate electronics sitting there. Finally, I went for breakfast with my friend Siri at 4 am and finally slept. Although I was awakened at 8:30ish by the previously grinded-upon straight girl who needed to a ride to get her car (apparently she passed out in the roommates bed). The roommate was volunteering at the Seahawk game and didn't have time to run this woman around. I gave her a ride and was back on my couch for 10 am football games. Not the most productive of Sundays.

-My friends in the midwest got me into a fantasy football league. this deserves it's own blog...the subculture of fantasy sports and male bonding is ripe for discussion. I'm a big sports fan. I follow most sports (even ones that I don't play) and have my favorite teams, players, etc..., but I've always refused to participate in these fantasy leagues. I figure that it would be a huge time suck particularly because I'm competitive and there's the possibility of trash talking with friends. If I'm gonna play, I want to try to win. It's one of the few ways that I can maintain a connection with my long-distance guy friends. My team is terrible...in part due to receiving the worst draft position and mostly due to my general ignorance of Fantasy football rules and strategy.

-I went on a hiking date a couple of weeks ago with someone that I like a fair bit. I met her at a party in early August and exchanged phone numbers. She owns several houses and has worked extensively in the Olympic Mountains where I did most of my Washington research and our dogs get along great together. She has an amazing smile, is nearly my height, and fit (she bikes 20-25 miles to work each day!). Yes, that insanely fit. I find this last characteristic funny as I've have said (repeatedly), I'm in relatively poor shape at the moment. Unfortunately, our timing has been really bad. After a great date, I went away for a week visiting Minnesota friends and camping here. Then she was out of town, and finally, had knee surgery last week. I'm not sure if it will end up in the friends zone, but we are not probably going out or doing anytime soon.

-I'm going hiking to do some field work in the Olympic mountains with my friend Katy this weekend. She agreed to help me take pictures of the pocket gophers who live in the alpine meadows for my research talks and for the Olympic National Park. My data is demonstrating that this isolated mountain top populations are very unique genetically and thus, warrant immediate conservation protection.

-It's late. Bed time. Big research day tomorrow. Not sure when I will blog again.

UPDATE: my friend Katy backed out on me because a certain monthly visitor has dropped in. I don't blame her. Dealing with cramps, that not-so-fresh feeling, and not showering for a couple of days can be a huge pain in the ass, particularly for someone with limited field work experience. I don't know how my female biology friends deal with this while they work all over the world. Cut from a tougher cloth than I perhaps. However, it does suck for me. I don't want to do this hike alone.

Perissodactyla: Equidae: Equus

2007-08-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

I went to the horse track today and made ~$70 profit. Much of the day's success was due to the following race in which my buddy Jay and I split the trifecta pot. There was another $38 dollar win later to cap off the day. Good times. I don't know that much about horses and horse racing, but I grew up going to the races often enough that I can read the racing form, understand a few things to avoid in how the horse is behaving, and I bet fairly conservatively. As a result, I tend to make a little money each time after food/drink costs. I know the horse racing industry as its share of issues/faults, but I viscerally enjoy the energy of the race track (maybe it's the mix gamblers hope and cheap cigarettes...I don't know). I can close my eyes and hear the sound of the hooves as they fly by. I love watching beautiful animals doing what they are bred to do...run.

4th race - Canterbury Park - August 26, 2007

Off at: 3:02 Race Type: Claiming Video Race Replay
Age Restriction: Three Year Old and Upward
Value of Race: $6,500
Distance: Six Furlongs
Surface Type: Dirt Track Condition: Fast
Winning Time: 1:11.59
Pgm Horse Jockey Win Place Show
6 Innisbrook T. D. Houghton 8.40 4.80 3.20
4 Red Pepper Martini Nik G. Goodwin 6.60 4.40
5 Smoke Magic Juan G. Rivera 3.60
Also ran: 1 - Stormin Legend , 3 - Yankee Ruler , 7 - Flying Strawberry
Scratched horses: Gentlemen's Club

Wager Type Winning Numbers Payoff
$1 Pick 3 1/3-7-6 (3 correct) 50.70
$1 Daily Double 7-6 14.20
$1 Exacta 6-4 33.00
$1 Trifecta 6-4-5 145.70
Winning Breeder: Tom Raper
Winning Owner: Werner, Dana and Mary Lou
Winning Trainer: Troy A. Bethke

Plane flight disasters and meth heads

2007-08-25T22:37:00.000-07:00

We all have stories of being on a plane and having to be seated next to annoying people. I've been relatively lucky in this regard. In all my travels, I’ve only had maybe 3-4 distasterous passengers sitting next me. I am always polite and tend not to talk to strangers much unless I am forced to. I usually enjoy the solitude of working on a flight…I know I’m weird that way.

I can think of two occasions where the person was a complete disaster and made for a miserable flight. I will never forget the 350 lb man whose flesh enveloped my left arm like the 1950s sci-fi creature 'the blob', nor the face of the middle aged, religious nut with horrible BO/sweaty pits AND halitosis who continually talked at me while I was reading a book. He would say something and then repeatedly would say "right, right" until he got a head nod or some other social cue from anyone in the area, before spouting off on another talking point. I eventually told this guy to shut the hell up after he started harassing my then girlfriend.

-Thursday...On my flight from Seattle to Denver, I ran into another screw ball. He was rather smallish, mid40s man with long dirty fingernails. I nodded politely and went back to my reading. I initially noticed that he moved around a fair bit while he was getting settled into his seat. Nothing atypical, but foreshadowing. He's sitting in the middle seat, there’s a early 20s woman on his left in the aisle seat, while I have the window. She’s reading a magazine the whole flight, when he does get an answer out either of us: It’s a single word and then we are back to our respective reading.

-He was a talker with a raspy voice and a smokers laugh that blended into a finishing cough. He kept saying how exciting the take-off and landing are. I notice that he spends a great deal of time/energy trying to look out the two windows. This goes on for the whole flight. This guy has his own agenda…NO reading material. How fricken clueless does one have to be? People, you must bring something to read/watch or entertain yourself for 2-3 hours. It's common courtesy. The stewardess should announce this while they tell us how to put on a seat belt.

-I’m sitting with a magazine, later reading an article on my laptop, and I decide to put earphone in my ears to further send 'I don't want to talk to you' vibe.

-Side note: the guy in front of me, as soon as we start down the runway, drops the seat into the full recline position. I hate this guy. Only men do this. How clueless are we as a sex? I'm looking right at the top of the his head. I briefly thought about grooming his curly head of hair for ticks like a chimp, but decided to be polite and just silently hated him. I did get some revenge later when I had to struggle to reach my laptop from under the seat and in the process woke him up.

-Back to the tweeker....
tweeker keeps harsassing the woman to his left with inane comments about the flying process. She's polite, but clearly does not want to talk. He’s in constant motion, rocking, grabbing the arm rest, he sooooo desperately wants to talk. After 30 min. of this, I gave him a piece of gum. Shortly thereafter, I fall asleep for a little over an hour and I awake. He immediate tells me I fell asleep (thanks for the running commentary). I then notice that he was still chewing that damn flavorless piece of gum I gave him. It was at least 90 min straight with one piece...how the hell does he do that. I've NEVER seen someone chew gum as fast he did. It was a blur. It was impressive how fast this man could chew gum….try chewing as fast as you can for 30 mins straight and then you will BEGIN to understand this man’s “talent”.

-Our flight was delayed about an hour before take-off and while we were in the air due to thunderstorms in the midwest and Denver. Consequently, the view out of the window is nothing but the wing and thick white clouds. While I’m reading an article on the laptop, he keeps trying to look out the window...leaning into my personal space. On 14 occasions (yes, I started counting), he leaned within a couple of inches of the edge of my laptop while trying to see out the window...his twitchy head is in my line of sight. How the hell am I supposed to read a scientific article with your mellow appearing repeatedly. You can’t see anything, but the wing…I can’t see much with my head pushed against the glass, what the hell is he going to see. We are enveloped in clouds! I wanted to tie this guy to a tree and leave him in the middle of field. I wanted to grab him, shake the shit out of him , while screaming “YOU MUST CHILL”.

-As we were in our final descent he shouted out..."Let’s get this bird on the ground!" Said to no one in particular.
-walking out of the plane….he already had an unlit cigearette in hand. In some ways, I kind of envy addiction…I mean, he gets to get that “relief”…then he fulfills the need, over and over and over again.

-Sorry for the rambing nature of this and repeated phrasing and typos. I wrote this quickly in the Denver airport while I waited for my next flight.

Minnesota summary

2007-08-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a fantastic meal and conversation with my friends. Ceviche was excellent...I feel a Yelp review coming on.

trip summary so far...
-Played frisbee golf on friday afternoon which led to drinking way too much last night playing a dice game called Mexican. Around 3am, I pulled off the veteran move of saying I was going the bathroom, but snuck up to my bed to sleep. Significant hang over in the morning.

-Today I went to the Minnesota state fair where I saw thousands of people with terrible BMI's eating cheese on a stick, walleye on a stick, corn dogs, a different kind of corn dog called a "Pronto pup", deep fried candy bars, etc.... Man o'man, there's a lot of big people here. Other state fair highlights included: the butter sculptures...yes sculptures made of butter, the farm animal birthing barn (I will have to explain this in person, but it was gross and I'm a biologist), and a cool art exhibit. I'm still picturing the best in show photograph that was stunning. I will attempt to describe it. Sorry if this comes across as lame...but the image will stay with me for a long time. It was a black and white picture of a little girl sitting on the floor of her living room. She has some recent injuries on her cheek, nose, and above her eye, and a tickle me elmo bandage on her forearm where an IV had probably been attached. In the background of the picture, to the right of the seated girl is a sliding glass door that leads to the backyard, slightly out of focus and standing sideways (e.g. profile) in the backyard is a medium sized dog. The title of the picture "the day after he bit her".

Musica

2007-08-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

Sleep here with me and I’ll keep you close
For now while I try to live up to you,
You can’t see the challenge of this, I suppose
But time is a dare and I’m trying to
--------------------------------------

My favorite musician, Joe Henry, is putting out a new album soon. Below are his album liner notes...it's a good read. I really enjoy this writing and the few others that I've read. I can understand why he such an amazing songwriter and producer.

You can listen to one song, 'Time is a Lion', by cutting and pasting this link (because I lack the html skills to link it here): http://media.anti.com/joe_henry/86890-civilians/timeisalion.mp3

http://media.anti.com/joe_henry/86890-civilians/timeisalion.mp3

--------------------------------------
Civilians: Liner Notes
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen; friends; esteemed colleagues…Madam Speaker. Aware as I am that some of you are updating your files, allow me to share a few descriptive notes that I hope you may find relevant to the business at hand. Let the record show, please, that I arrived here promptly, under my own steam, and that I formally declare the handcuffs to be excessive.

As I appear before you, I have just turned 46 years old. I remain 5’9” tall and hold steady at 146 pounds. My hair is wavy, but only at my express direction. My eyes are brown or green depending on the light, and I sometimes appear to have a slight limp, if remembering a fall I took in London two years ago October. I am Sagittarian; a Southerner by birth, and Midwestern by transplant; a loyal spouse and the well-meaning but jittery father of two. I live on the fringe of Los Angeles, right where it begins its slide into the San Gabriel Valley, and in a house built in 1904 for a First Lady of these United States of I’m Sorry; and I do so with my loving family who tolerate all manner of racket and laughter issuing from the basement under the guise of serious work being done. I am experimenting with drinking smaller amounts of much stronger coffee; and during fits of insomnia (which I swear has nothing to do with drinking smaller amounts of much stronger coffee) I have contemplated opera, dog training, motorcycles, patriotism, corruption, metallurgy, Perez Prado, the coming revolution, insurance, God, baseball, Skip James and the prospect of making my own gin in a tub behind the garage. “How tough could it be?” I have asked the dark ceiling. “Would I need a permit if not intended for retail?”

That may be all any of you has a right to know. But I am, alas, a simple man, and my life is an open book, even if some passages have been obscured for security purposes. Freedom isn’t free, after all, and neither is that tiny microphone inside the saltshaker. But tell the truth: don’t you just feel safer knowing it’s there? I know I do. Where was I?

Oh yes: Five feet, nine inches tall. And wavy hair, sort of. Not sleeping, and thinking of baseball, ombudsmen and gin. (Am I going too fast?) I wasn’t born in this town, but I’ve taken to it like a stenographer to a presumed-dead surprise witness, both played by Gene Hackman in a career-capping dual role. Los Angeles serves me, and I stand ready to serve it -in the case of emergency and if/when The Perez Prado Story ever goes into production. My proximity to the city allows quick access to legal aid, fine dining, my favorite drummer and, if need be, antique prosthetic limbs and period fire engines, which can be rented by the day or week and delivered to location.

And location is everything. I can now literally climb out of bed and fall straight into the basement of what is known on the historic registry as The Garfield House without so much as my goggles on and be…At Work. I raise a flag out in the front yard that says, “Hiring!” and wait for people to show; and show they do. One week in particular, just after New Year, I crawled out of the furnace room (squirrels again) and found I had a full house, ready and willing to tackle any song I had, no matter what the key or time signature. They just really know how to listen, is the thing. They know by the look in
my eye that I’m not much on talk, and deplore options. But what I want is obvious to a blind man, which is why I work in my own cellar with the curtains drawn. What some of us feel called to do with our time has come to be considered providing aid and comfort to the enemy, I understand; and ours is a nation that takes its enemies very seriously, its comfort more so.

But we were talking about music. Loose lips, desperation and convenient morality might make for tense dinner conversation, but put them in waltz time and even the young people lay down their assault rifles and start crowding up next to the stage. The songs making up this particular collection came in fits and starts: a handful quite some time ago; but the majority arrived in a cluster in the late fall. I did what anybody would do, stomping them down and skimming off their juices for bottling. Then, once they’d sat around just long enough (timing is everything), I called in a few close friends with no
high concept to guide us other than the time-tested one of our ancestors: twist and pull, breathe and pour. It was important to me that I not let any idea get bigger than the songs themselves. My work is akin to shoveling out a fireplace: If I do it well, the next fire will have more air to breathe. And the fire next time is always the thing. Speaking of which… I have noticed with surprise -and only in retrospect- how often God is mentioned
throughout this 12-song cycle, and He must be surprised as well. I recognize in His many appearances, though, not the god of my Methodist raising, who sat judging tennis balls “in” or “out” from high on a perch; but one among us, who stretches like the net itself, wholly visible and there but to frame the attempt. (To me, this is the God of Shakespeare, Wilde, Moliere, and Buster Keaton, and could easily be played by Gene Hackman, if he wasn’t otherwise so occupied.)

I’ve already mentioned the widow Garfield in passing and it is important that she be acknowledged now that I reside and work in the house built for her –the house in which she died, and where her funeral was staged; I need to stay on good terms with her ghostly countenance. She has, to date, been patient and supportive and seems to prefer the lights low, as I do. Like a feral animal that marks its turf, Lucretia (or “Crete” as The President called her) has made her presence known in subtle but noticeable ways on a few occasions. On my first day under her roof, she did, for instance, insist that my stereo play only in mono, no matter how I wired it; but once I conceded that both my engineer and I were powerless to affect any change, she relented and the sonic picture snapped back to full “360-Sound,” like The Wizard of Oz going from black-and-white to Technicolor. Her ghost also appears to prefer that my guests drink rye instead of bourbon, because once I made the switch a matter of house policy, everything seemed to shift for the better. (I might even go so far as to suggest that Mrs. Garfield quite likes to hear the piano played, and may have had something to do with the delivery of Mr. Van Dyke Parks into our midst. He too seems to float a bit, and has not the slightest aversion to America’s oldest whiskey.) It may be worth noting here as well that I’ve had to promise the historical society that a pump organ would be installed, whether it was recorded or not, and I have taken no chances: you can hear it throughout this collection, which I hope will guarantee some good will on the part of that august chamber when it comes time to build the rotunda and the landing strip –both in a mission style and in harmony with neighboring structures, of course.

I will now gladly entertain questions from the floor. Suffice to say, though, that I’ve never been happier, in my life or in my work, and I trust the panel won’t count that against me. I’m well aware that people tend not to prefer happiness as a posture when it comes to their singer/songwriters, but I’ve elected to be unconcerned. There’s still plenty of time, and you can all take heart: if history teaches us anything, my comeuppance is likely just around the corner.

Joe Henry

Recent events

2007-08-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

1-Research is going well, Rehab on my achilles is getting towards the end....green lighted to begin slow, short jogs around green lake (3min jog, 2 min fast walk, repeat) and easy mountain hikes as well. I did a section of green lake last night with the mutt. I'm going on long day hike next Tuesday (I may blog about this later).

2-family in town since last week. My dad and his wife were here until Monday, but my brothers are staying for the week. Cool hanging out with my younger brothers (ages 19 and 21). They are really fun to hang out with. Sunset and BBQ with friends at golden gardens last night was spectacular. I wish I was camping in the Olympic mountains right now.

Tues. night Went to a M's game. I loved playing baseball and still follow the game, but I'm generally bored watching it. So to keep it entertaining, I've started to find ways to keep me entertained and stay with the progress of the game. Such as gambling on things the whole time with my little brother. Pretty much any bet is acceptable. How many times does the beer salemen say "Beer hear" before he leaves our section? Between innings, the umpire roles out a brand new baseball towards the pitching mound, we bet whether or not the ball stay on the dirt of the pitching mound or if rolled off into the grass? Whether or not the batter will strike out, hit on the ground, hit it in the air, etc...? How many times will Ichiro adjust his cup? Does the person who throws out the ceremonial first pitch make the throw or do they bounce it to the catcher. My brother chose the bounce, I chose the completed throw. Well, little did I know that the theme for tonights game was "celebrate Korean business" and "autism awareness night"....so the CEO of some Korean company I've never heard of and an autistic girl were the ceremonial throwers. Needless to say, I was quickly down $2. Not sure if we are going to hell or not for this.

3-Busy social calendar in the next 5 days before heading off to Minneapolis. Five, yes, five evites for this weekend: birthday parties, people leaving town, people celebrating their green card, babies celebrating their first birthday...oh to be a social butterfly.

4-awoke early this morning and I decided to sit on the porch while half dozing and waking up...I watched a big flock (~40) of bushtits and chickadees flit around as they fed in a tree above me. It was pretty cool to watch them so close. Nice way to start the day.

5-gotta go...the bothers are awake and hungry.

Coldplay and Jaeger

2007-08-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

A shot of Jaeger, a crappy Coldplay song, an ensuing violent rage..... yeah, that's about right.

-----------------------------------------
Karaoke singer attacked after starting song, Woman punches man on stage

By HECTOR CASTRO
P-I REPORTER

It could have been the Coldplay song "Yellow" that upset the patron of a Wallingford neighborhood bar. Or perhaps it was the karaoke singer who belted it out.

Employees at Changes, on North 45th Street, said they don't know, but the ensuing melee just past 1 a.m. Thursday was one unlike anything seen at the bar before.

As soon as the man on stage started singing about the stars in his best Chris Martin impersonation, the woman reportedly said: "Oh, no, not that song. I can't stand that song!"

Witnesses said her distaste for Coldplay quickly took a violent turn, and she leaped at the would-be crooner, shouting expletives and telling him that his singing "sucked," while expressing the same opinion of the song, according to a Seattle police report.

She pushed the man and punched him, all in an effort to stop his singing.

Other patrons went to the singer's aid and hauled the 21-year-old woman outside.

"It took three or four of us to hold her down," said Robert Willmette, one of the bartenders at Changes.

The woman, Willmette said, "went crazy" when she got outside, punching him twice in the face, and throwing blows at the others gathered around her.

But the person who drew most of the music critic's ire was an off-duty Seattle police officer. The off-duty officer identified herself as a cop, gave her badge number and had another patron call 911 to request help for an officer.

The response was fast and overwhelming, with both patrol officers and Gang Unit detectives converging on the normally tame neighborhood bar.

"They blocked the whole street off," Willmette said.

According to the police report, the woman's rage only grew when the uniformed officers arrived.

The officers took the woman, whom Willmette described as "a little hippie girl," to the ground, but she was still able to head butt the off-duty officer several times before she was handcuffed.

After treatment for injuries she suffered in the scuffle, the woman was booked into the King County Jail for investigation of assault. She was also held on a warrant issued for a previous theft charge.

The off-duty officer also went to the hospital, for treatment of several cuts, scrapes and bruises.

Later Thursday morning, bar employees were shaking their heads over the woman's bizarre behavior.

According to the night bartender's notes, she had just one drink -- a single shot of Jägermeister.

She didn't appear to be one of the regulars who flock to the bar for its karaoke nights on Sundays and Wednesdays.

Most are regulars who come for the pleasure of the singing, and the police are rarely needed.

"She was just crazy," Willmette said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I...

2007-08-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

completed a full workout without soreness on my injured achilles tendon. I did some individual basketball training, light weights, and stationary biked for 20minutes. Whoo hoo!

I'm still not even 90%, but I was able to push the leg a bit. I'm going to do it again tomorrow. A few weeks of this and I will be back chasing round objects again (and I'll lose the 5 lbs of belly I've gained in last 5 months.).

Very happy.

Finding nice and 'the show'

2007-08-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

I've been deeply in love two times in my life. My last significant girlfriend was in town this weekend for a friends' wedding. Tonight we had a drink and walked around Queen Anne until her plane took off tonight. I hate to admit it, but as I pulled away from the airport, a pang of anxiety and sadness hit me...a slight stomach punch. I wasn't expecting this kind of emotional response, but it was there and I had to write about it.

I broke up with her last June and really hurt her. For the record, I was hurting too. I knew this was a great woman, but the relationship was stuck in a long-distance holding pattern and it began to feel stagnant. After 3 months of no contact, the death of my last and closest grandparent, and some much needed perspective, I reached out to her again last fall. Not surprising, she was still angry and none too interested in letting me back into her life. During the last 10 months, we have slowly regained some contact via irregular phone calls and e-mails as we have attempted to become friends again. Just friends. The results of this friendship thing in my opinion have been fairly mixed. We occasionally have a great conversation that is fun and dynamic, but most of our recent contact has been superficial and rather forced. Currently, our conversations are not relaxed and easy. I don't recall really laughing much tonight...which sucks. There are subjects that both of us avoid going into which is not the way to maintain a friendship. Here's the thing: She works insane stressful/long hours and I think she just doesn't really see working on a long-distance friendship with me as a good use of her limited time. She's probably right. She admits to struggling in maintaining close contact with even her oldest friends let alone some guy who screwed her over.

There are a lot of reasons why I broke up with her, but the biggest problem BY FAR was she was in medical school in the midwest while I was in a PhD program here. We would spend about 6-8 weeks of the year together. We lasted as a couple for 2.5 years. It was hard to be limited to daily phone conversations and these brief visits to see each other. Now we are both close to finishing our respective degrees in the next 10 months and we are moving on to the next challenges. I don't know what this world has in store for either of us, but I have the sneaking feeling that we won't be anything more than christmas card friends. This saddens me. Being a scientist, I am often tied up in theories without the regular dose of real world experience. Tonight I had to experience the feeling of a theory applied. In short, she is great person and difficult circumstances combined with a lack of relationship-creativity led me to seek out a better show.... Better 'show'? Theory applied? Allow me to explain...

Here's why I think I felt that pang/anxiety as I pulled away from the airport. This is something that I've been thinking about for a long time. In the past year, I finally figured out the related issues of 'seeking a better show' and the problem of looking for 'the one'. I think this applies to most single people in their 30s: I'm over 35 and I've seen 'the show' before (i.e. the long-term committed, living together, being in love, getting married show). By our 30s, we've all experienced the show. I have a pretty good sense of what works for me and figuring out what works for my significant others. Early on in a relationship, I'm trying to get to the point where we can both relax around each other (and no, I'm not thinking about the freedom to belch or fart). This is not a trivial point.

When first dating, I'm looking for a few key things (the first two CANNOT be worked on and four and five are trouble):
1) they need to be a nice person;
2) physical attraction;
3) sexual chemistry;
4) no history of drug problems;
5) no major financial problems;
6) being 'nice'..there is no greater substitute for justing being a nice person.

In the past year, I've yet to find this combination. I know that when I do find it again, I will hang on to it much tighter than I have in the past. What do I mean by that? It means I won't need to do the safe dating for 6-12 months before beginning discussions of moving in, then the waiting to get engaged, etc....because I have seen the 'relationship show'. People get too easily tied up in the finding 'the one'. We all have the ability to pick a person apart...death by a thousand small cuts as they say. That's why I insist that all of my first dates to need to supply their most recent tax records and a blood sample. Just kidding.

If it feels right and they're nice, then go with it (and be creative while doing it).

Minneapolis friends

2007-08-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

I hope my friends are doing okay tonight. I'm visiting these friends in 3 weeks.

I just heard from my friend Anna who lives near the bridge along the river (she's nearly done with med school. I don't think she was working at the hospital at the time of the bridge collapse.). My other friend Jay called me from work about 30 minutes before the collapse. His cell phone has been down for a couple of weeks so I can't call him. He has a lot of family in the area.

Nothing else to say.

Update: Heard from Jay this morning...all is well. A close call for one family member who was going to the Twins game, but was running late and therefore, just missed crossing the bridge.

A Poem I like about Fathers

2007-07-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

Three things caused this blog:
1) Yesterday after a long day of productive writing and data analysis, I found a new and different video clip of Lakota Indian Billy Mills winning a 10,000m gold medal in the 1964 Olympics. What? Who the hell is Billy Mills? Wikipedia is the best place for a cliff notes version of this man's life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Mills

They made a low budget (but decent) movie about his life in the mid-1980s. This youtube video is 8 minutes long, but it provides two different perspectives on the race...the last lap is AMAZING and it is why Billy Mills is famous among runners and Native Americans alike. Scroll the video to the 4:40 second section to see the last lap of the race..this is a foreign language commentator...notice that Mills is pushed twice during the last lap. Watch until he finishes, then scroll to 6:30 point and you will see a grainy black and white version of the last lap with the American commentators. The announcers' screaming excitement in the last bit of the race is awesome. Gives me goosebumps everytime I see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vhUiNLsIoM&mode=related&search=

2) I found out that my father, his wife, and my two youngest (college age) brothers are coming to visit next week.

3) Over the past two weeks, I've been cleaning out my room and life...getting rid of old clothes, re-arranging pictures, etc.. Tonight, I came across this poem that I typed up long ago.

There's a bit a back story to this regarding my relationship to the two father figures in my life and my 9 half-siblings, yes, nine. I don't have a traditional father-son relationship with either of my two dads and I have several siblings that I don't know that well. It's a long story best told over a beer or two. I don't want to imply that I have bad relations with either of these two men...my biological father who lived on the Washington coast when I was a child and only really got to know when I was a teenager, and the Montana man whose last name I share and grew up calling 'dad'. I know a lot of friends who have much, much worse relationships with their parents than I EVER experienced. I am loved by both and that is all that really matters, but these two dads did their fair share to screw up their respective families with their actions (and lack of actions). I have siblings that have struggled mightily to deal with the divorces and other issues.

Given that background, here's a poem that I first heard at the end of a mid90s movie that when I first heard it. The poem caused me to start crying. Not a huge emotional release just a single tear, but it was surprising to me as I was in a movie theater at the time and I hadn't cried since I was young boy. The poem was a wonderful capstone to the story in the film and it hits me hard nearly every time I hear it. Over the course of the last decade, I am more comfortable with the shedding of an occasional tear. I know the circumstances in which these rare events occur...usually at the movies (documentaries or native american stories can hit home when they are well done). The Billy Mills race often gets me...hence the long ass blog before the poem:

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers
by Dick Lourie

How do we forgive our Fathers?
Maybe in a dream
Do we forgive our Fathers for leaving us too often or forever
when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage
or making us nervous
because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our Fathers for marrying or not marrying our Mothers?
For divorcing or not divorcing our Mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?
Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning
for shutting doors
for speaking through walls
or never speaking
or never being silent?

Do we forgive our Fathers in our age or in theirs
or their deaths
saying it to them or not saying it?

If we forgive our Fathers what is left?

NBA Referee Scandal

2007-07-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

If you're not a sports fan, I don't think people fully realize how damaging this story could be. My friends and I have been talking a lot about it since the story broke yesterday.

If you haven't heard about it, here's the NY Times story:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/21/sports/basketball/21referee.html

Sorry I don't know how to provide a direct http link so you'll have to cut and paste.

Bill Simmons is one of my favorite sports/popculture writers and he wrote the following article today.
------------
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070722

One man out, one league in trouble

By Bill Simmons
Page 2
Updated: July 22, 2007, 3:09 PM ET

On Friday afternoon in southern California, you could hear the cacophony of frustrated screenwriters pounding their desks in disgust. The Tim Donaghy scandal doubled as the easiest movie pitch ever.

Imagine how simple it would have been to sell that script. A white NBA referee with a gambling problem (Matt Damon) loses too much money to a bookie (Timothy Olyphant) who's connected with a dangerous family of mobsters (led by head boss Alec Baldwin). One of their muscle guys (Turtle from "Entourage") threatens to beat up the ref unless he gives them inside information. Which he does. Now they have him. They tell him to start throwing a couple of games or they'll go after his wife (Evangeline Lilly) and daughter (the little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine"). He agrees to affect the over/under of games by whistling more fouls than usual, which should drive the scores above the over/under because everyone will be shooting more free throws. For a couple of games, it works. Eventually, they want more. Fearing for his life, he crosses the line and helps fix a few outcomes without realizing the mobsters will never say, "All right, we're good, nice working with you."

Meanwhile, a renegade FBI agent (Ryan Gosling) overhears the ref discussing one of the games on a tapped phone line, then gets tipped off by a mob informant (Joe Pantoliano) that they turned an NBA referee. They track the weasel for a solid year, gather all the evidence they need, then break the news to the NBA commissioner (Ron Silver) and his staff that their league has been compromised. It's too late. Too much damage has been done. The referee resigns, the feds swoop in and that's that. The movie ends with a sobbing Damon going to jail, Gosling getting promoted and Silver glumly watching the tape of a pivotal playoff game from the previous spring, a horribly officiated game that could have potentially affected the championship ... and the sight of that same compromised referee jogging down the court, ready to blow the whistle at a key moment.

The end.

That should have been a movie. Now, it allegedly looks to have happened in real life. If true, it's the rarest of sports scandals, a shocker that shocked absolutely nobody but might end up becoming more significant than anyone imagines. After the most damaging NBA season in three decades, after a series of deep-rooted problems -- almost entirely self-inflicted -- that already had everyone concerned about the league's immediate future, we reached the tipping point with Tim Donaghy.

Guilty or innocent, we will never watch an NBA game the same way. He's going to hang over everything -- every referee, every shaky outcome, every bad call -- in ways the average fan doesn't fully realize yet. Maybe they'll throw Donaghy in jail, maybe they won't, but he'll linger over every court like a black cloud. You'll hear his name more than you think. You and your buddies will make "that guy looks like he's pulling a Donaghy!" jokes every time a referee is making calls against your favorite team. Hecklers will gleefully play the Donaghy card after every bad call against the home team. For honest referees still working games, it doesn't matter what happens from this point on -- their collective integrity will always be questioned, their collective track record won't matter, and that will be that.

So that's one problem. The second problem is more complex. When news of the scandal broke on Friday, as J.A. Adande pointed out in his column that day, every diehard NBA fan had the same reaction. They weren't thinking, "I can't believe it!" or "Oh my God, how could this happen?" They were thinking, "Which one was it?" This was like finding out that your grandfather who smoked three packs a day for 50 years just came down with lung cancer. It was sad but inevitable. It was only a matter of time. These guys never made enough money (as we learned from the airplane ticket scandal) and struggled at their jobs consistently enough that there was no way to tell the difference between blowing a call and intentionally blowing a call.

More than any other professional league, an NBA referee can directly affect the outcome of every game. We've seen it happen time and time again, only we always assumed that the refs in question were working for the best interests of the league, that they were following orders like Luca Brasi (even if there was no definitive proof) -- like the guys who worked Game 6 of the Kings-Lakers series in 2002, or Game 7 of the Suns-Sonics series in 1993, or the infamous Hubert Davis Game in 1994. After Dwyane Wade and Miami received some Vince McMahon-level assistance in Games 3 and 4 of the 2006 Finals, I wrote an angry column about the "officiating crisis" (my words) that prompted Mavs owner Mark Cuban (tired of being fined) to post the link on his blog along with the sentence, "I never have to say a word again." After Dallas squandered that series, Cuban was so traumatized by the officiating that he nearly sold the Mavericks before family and friends talked him out of it.

For anyone who loves the NBA, the officiating has always been the proverbial "elephant in the room." No league has endured more jokes along the lines of "I'm not sure where the NBA ends and the WWE begins." Whether it's because of bad luck, poor training, measly pay or the thanklessness of the profession itself -- maybe it's all of those things -- the NBA employs a handful of good referees and an astonishing number of bad ones. In the playoffs, there never seems to be enough quality officials to go around. If that wasn't bad enough, the league displayed a nasty "habit" (note: I'm using quotation marks because you could never prove anything more than a series of coincidences) of assigning better referees if they needed road teams to prevail (like a marquee team trailing 2-1 and playing Game 4 on the road) and weaker referees if they needed home teams to prevail (because weak referees are more likely to have their calls prejudiced by a raucous home crowd). This "habit" was miraculously cured this past spring, one year after the fallout of the 2006 Finals, when the officiating assignments became noticeably more haphazard and we ended up with just one Game 7 in four rounds. Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe not.

And that's before factoring in the public's perception (well-earned, by the way) that superstars receive more favorable calls than non-superstars. It's like Chris Rock's bit about dad getting the biggest chicken leg at the dinner table -- once you reach a certain level in the NBA, the whistles will come. This perpetual leeway allows gifted athletes like Wade, Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to drive recklessly into traffic in crunch time, knowing they can either score or draw a foul. (Even when Michael Jordan won the '98 Finals on what everyone believed was his final shot ever, he famously shoved Utah's Bryon Russell to the ground before launching that jumper. No whistle.) If anything, LeBron's pre-2007 game depended on this leeway so much that he was completely ineffective in the 2006 World Championships; he kept bowling his way into the paint and waiting for calls that never came. The international refs almost seemed amused by him. The NBA refs would have been bailing him out.

So when news of the Donaghy scandal broke, everyone's reaction was the same: "Which one?"

That's why I had one group of friends frantically organizing a "Who was the crooked ref?" office pool on Friday morning instead of wondering, "How could this happen?" That's why Stern ignored the FBI's advice and used such harsh language in his official statement on Friday; nobody understands the gravity of this crisis more than someone who grew up in New York in the '50s during CCNY's famous point-shaving scandal. This was his worst nightmare, worse than a repeat of the Artest Melee, worse than a repeat of Kermit Washington's punch, worse than anything except a terrorist act during an NBA game. Over everything else, David Stern always wanted his fans to feel completely safe when they're attending games, and he always wanted them to believe that the integrity of the game was intact. Now, they don't feel that way. At all.

So that's two significant problems. Problem No. 1 will fade away over time, although it will never completely disappear. Problem No. 2 can be fixed, although it will take some major work. But Problem No. 3 can't be fixed. If the allegations are true, Tim Donaghy didn't just violate the integrity of the league and rig some games. There's a good chance he altered the course of the 2007 championship. Only three teams had a chance last year: Dallas, Phoenix and San Antonio. When Dallas choked against Golden State in the opening round, the NBA's refusal to fix a broken playoff system came back to haunt it in Round 2, thanks to a Spurs-Suns matchup that suddenly doubled as the NBA Finals. In Game 1, San Antonio stole home-court advantage with a convincing win that everyone remembers because Steve Nash busted his nose open. The Suns rallied back with a blowout win in Game 2. Here's what I wrote after the third game -- the Spurs were favored by four, with an over/under of 200.5 -- after San Antonio prevailed, 108-101, thanks to Amare Stoudemire playing just 21 minutes because of foul trouble:

Congratulations to Greg Willard, Tim Donaghy and Eddie F. Rush for giving us the most atrociously officiated game of the playoffs so far: Game 3 of the Suns-Spurs series. Bennett Salvatore, Tom Washington and Violet Palmer must have been outraged that they weren't involved in this mess. Good golly. Most of the calls favored the Spurs, but I don't even think the refs were biased -- they were so incompetent that there was no rhyme or reason to anything that was happening. Other than the latest call in NBA history (a shooting foul for Manu Ginobili whistled three seconds after the play, when everyone was already running in the other direction), my favorite moment happened near the end, when the game was already over and they called a cheap bump on Bruce Bowen against Nash, so the cameras caught Mike D'Antoni (the most entertaining coach in the league if he's not getting calls) screaming sarcastically, "Why start now? Why bother?" What a travesty. Not since the cocaine era from 1978-1986 has the league faced a bigger ongoing issue than crappy officiating.
Now ...

Before the Donaghy scandal broke, if you told me there was a compromised official working a 2007 playoff game and made me guess the game, I would have selected Game 3 of the Spurs-Suns series. There were some jaw-dropping calls throughout, specifically, the aforementioned Ginobili call and Bowen hacking Nash on a no-call drive that ABC replayed from its basket camera (leading to a technical from D'Antoni). Both times, Mike Breen felt obligated to break the unwritten code that play-by-play announcers -- don't challenge calls and openly questioned what had happened. The whole game was strange. Something seemed off about it.

At the time, I assumed the league had given us another "coincidence" where three subpar refs (and calling that crew "subpar" is being kind) were assigned to a Game 3 in which, for the interest of a long series, everyone was better off having the home team prevail ... just like I anticipated another "coincidence" in which one of the best referees would work Game 4 to give Phoenix a fair shake in a game that, statistically, they were more likely to win. After all, it's easier to win Game 4 on the road than Game 3, when the fans are pumped up and the home team is happy to be home.(Which is exactly how it played out. Steve Javie worked Game 4, a guy who Jeff Van Gundy deemed "the best ref in the league" during the Finals. Hmmmm.) Look, this could have been an elaborate series of connected flukes. I'm just telling you that none of it surprised me. Which is part of the problem.

But here's what I didn't expect: That a potentially crooked ref was working that game.

Imagine being a Suns fan right now. You just spent the past two months believing that your team got screwed by the Stoudemire/Diaw suspensions, that you would have won Game 1 if Nash didn't get hurt, that you would have taken Game 3 if you hadn't been screwed by the officials, that you would have cruised in Game 5 if two of your best guys weren't suspended for running towards their best player as he lay in a crumpled heap. Now it looks like an allegedly compromised referee worked Game 3.

Well, how much did Donaghy affect the game? How many calls did he whistle on Stoudemire? How many of Bowen's potential fouls did he not call? Was he the seemingly incompetent schmuck who made that three-seconds-too-late call on Ginobili? Did Tim Donaghy cost you that game?

If David Stern wants to do right by the fans, then he should order NBA TV to rerun the tape of Game 3. We need answers. We need to know for sure. Hell, they can start a series called "NBA Hardwood Classics: The Tim Donaghy Collection" and we'll spend the rest of the summer combing through games and figuring out how many Donaghy could have fixed. Like Game 6 of the Raptors-Nets series, which New Jersey won by a point in the final seconds. Did he swing that one? What about Game 2 of the Orlando-Detroit series, when the Magic rallied for a late cover in the final seconds with Donaghy jogging around? What about the Heat-Knicks game from last February in which the Knicks were given a 39-8 free-throw advantage and covered a 4.5-point spread by 1.5 points? Did Donaghy call those two technical fouls on the Miami coaches? Is there footage of Pat Riley screaming at him?

Stern promised us that "we would like to assure our fans that no amount of effort, time or personnel is being spared to assist in this investigation." And really, that's great. Thank you. But I'd rather see tapes of those games. I want to see all five playoff games that Donaghy worked last spring, as well as that Heat-Knicks game and any other contest that's relevant. Before we worry about justice, let's get some answers. Especially for Game 3 of the Spurs-Suns series. I left that series believing that the Spurs were better, that their offensive execution was unparalleled, that Tim Duncan was the best player on the court, that they would have figured out a way to win that series whether the suspensions happened or not. Now? I'm not so sure. What if an allegedly crooked referee hadn't been working Game 3? What if the Suns won that game? What then?

If you're a diehard Suns fan, this now becomes the toughest playoff loss in NBA history. You have a legitimate case that you were screwed.

If you're a diehard NBA fan, you're horrified but strangely hopeful, because we needed a tipping point to change a stagnant league that was headed in the wrong direction ... and maybe this was it.

Look, we already knew the officiating needed to be improved. We knew the NBA needed to solve the problem of non-playoff teams tanking down the stretch and shelving stars who could have played (and yet continuing to charge fans full price for these games). We knew the NBA needed to solve a lottery system that hasn't quite worked for 20 years. We knew the NBA needed to solve a screwed-up playoff system that only works when the conferences are perfectly balanced, and more importantly, we knew the league needed to start taking some chances. This is a league that hasn't swung for the fences with a major change since 1979, when it brought in the 3-point line from the old ABA. For nearly three decades, it has been making minor cosmetic changes here and there -- the draft lottery, zone defenses, hand-checks, the charging semicircle, improved rating systems for officials, flagrant fouls, the leaving-the-bench rule, the dress code -- while continually ignoring the bigger picture.

What's the big picture? Well, the regular season is effectively meaningless. Contenders can only improve to a point because of the luxury tax, so everyone searches for that same half-assed "we want to contend for a title, but we don't want to lose $20 million this season" competitive zone that leads to deals like Kurt Thomas and two first-round picks for a second-round pick and a 2006 trade deadline in which the biggest move involved Anthony Johnson. Fan interest peaks at three points -- at the start of the season, at the start of the first round of the playoffs, and right before the draft -- and dips at every other point. For seven of the past 10 seasons, the best two teams in the league played before the Finals -- which seems so incredibly shortsighted, I can't even begin to fathom how it's allowed to continue. And worst of all, when an NBA official was accused of fixing games, the prevailing reaction was "Which one?"

So yeah, they could make a movie about Tim Donaghy's story. And they probably will. Let's just hope we're not watching a documentary about the death of the NBA some day, because we're headed that way. Wake up, fellas. Rome is burning.

THE ZAPRUDER FILM
Follow-up note: A few hours after this column was posted on Sunday morning, an NBA fan posted "highlights" from Game 3 on YouTube that reveal Donaghy making a number of questionable calls during that Spurs-Suns game, including the three-seconds-too-late call on Ginobili that I mentioned in my column (and two months ago as well).

After the call is made, play-by-play announcer Mike Breen calls it a "late whistle" three different times, then a replay of the play shows that there was no contact, followed by Breen saying "doesn't look like there was much there" and partner Jon Barry adding, "I don't know what he saw!"

Collectively, it's a damning collection of anti-Phoenix calls, although not all of them were made by Donaghy. Expect the highlights of this game to eventually become the Zapruder Film of the Donaghy Scandal. Sorry, Phoenix fans.

Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His book "Now I Can Die In Peace" is available in paperback.

If I read one more....

2007-07-17T00:38:00.000-07:00

science article about the geologic and biological history of the Olympic Peninsula, I may have to solicit friends and potentially, random strangers to rain blows upon my head until I retain no knowledge of such historic things. I love history, but 6 articles and other related reviews later. Ick.

I badly need a good night's sleep (a solid rem cycle where I imagine that I am the heavyweight champion of the world, a harlem globtrotter, or something else ridiculous). Normally I would go for a run or be playing sports to recharge the batteries. Now It's 2am and I am left to finish a a july 10th blog about a old pet dog that has died.

-I am hoping that I've finally turned a corner on my achilles re-hab. PT people think I have (knock on fully-functioning achilles like it was wood...yes, I mixed metaphors. So what...you wanna make something of it? Huh? That's what I thought.). I guess I'm tired and a cranky butt too. I've been given the green light to go on a light hike this week. Not sure when and where yet, but it will be soon.

-Enjoyed meeting my first blog reader (i.e. stalker) this past week, Darlin' T. Actually not a stalker, she couldn't have been nicer and her blog photos do not due justice to her smile and the color of her eyes. Now that I've made her uncomfortable, I think I can move on. Oh, and to her credit, she tolerated a below average meal. Katy-dog and my roommate ate the leftovers. I just read Darlin T's latest blog...my advice on this weekend with OH: trust your gut and stay out your head while he's in town. Be open to whatever you feel good or bad and go with it. My secondary advice: get drunk, have fun, and make some bad decisions! From what you have described and written, I know you'll be fine.

-My friend Christy whom I kidnapped this past weekend and took to the beach called me tonight to thank me again for the spontaneous plan. Here's the surprise: she wants to go on a real 'date' this Saturday. It caught me off guard a bit. Between our contradictory work schedules and the loss of the shared friends/couple whom moved out of state, we only get together a handful of times each year. For the record, she and I fooled around a couple of times 2 years ago, but it was never serious. She is this amazing business woman, world traveler, and consequently, so out my economic league that I feel a bit like her boy toy. I don't want to give the impression that I am bothered by a woman making more money than me. As a biologist (even with a potential future PhD), I fully expect that I will never make much more than 6 figures tops...so I'm ready to be the lesser in the financial department. It's just that the disparity is sooooo huge. You should see the house she owns in Bellevue. We do share a fair bit in common. She's part native, loves red wine/fine dining, has a great sense of humor and a wonderful smile. Anyways, I am not sure how I feel about this...maybe I'll follow the advice I gave to DarlinT. It's always easier to tell someone else what to do. Do as I say not as I do.

Sleepy time.

67 year old woman gives birth...hilarious

2007-07-16T01:31:00.001-07:00

http://www.noob.us/humor/conan-obrien-patton-oswalt-on-old-women-giving-birth/

Spontaneous roadtrips and precursor to a midlife crisis?

2007-07-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

Friday night I got a call from my sister asking if I would trade cars with her for the weekend. I drive a Nissan Pathfinder, she drives a 2006 minicooper. I said 'of course' without really thinking about the implications. I just wanted to do right by my sister and it was no big deal to let her have my big ass SUV for a rafting trip.

I'm not a big 'car guy'. As a Montana-raised male, I was infused with basic knowledge of engine function/repair, etc..., but I've never been a huge sports car/gear head kinda guy. I don't care about horsepower and appearence...I'm very utilitarian. I'm an ecologist who drives a gas guzzling SUV...contradiction? Perhaps, but I need the room for camping/hiking gear and 4-wheel drive to visit Montana in the winter and to do field work year round. After I finish the PhD, I plan to get a more sensible car again. It's just how I am.

Well after 5 minutes of driving the minicooper, all that utilitarian shit when out the window. The minicooper is so much fun to drive. It's little (yet roomy inside), close to the ground, a manual transmission and quick. Damn quick. I decided then and there that I needed to go on a road trip immediately.

Around 10pm on Friday night, I started texting a few friends to see who was available for a spontaneous roadtrip to the beach and early Saturday morning, I finally found a co-pilot...my workaholic friend Christy dropped her plans for the day and off we went. Beautiful day, the sun, a great lunch of fancy cheeses and wine, and zipping along the coast with no particular plan.

Maybe I will need to purchase a convertible when I hit my late 40s.

An old friend passing away

2007-07-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

I heard from my ex-wife that her dog of 13 years died. We split up our two dogs after the divorce. Zach-Elvis was an 75-85lb malamute-german shepard mix. I was going to scan a nice picture of Zach and Katy together, but I decided to just use the one that came with the e-mail.

I'm a biologist who loves animals. Even by my easy to find something to love standards, Zach was the smartest, most amazing dog I've ever known. I helped raise him from 10 months until he was 7 years old. A beautiful dog, hilarious and as a youngerster a bit of bastard. I've told stories (and will continue) to tell them about his antics. Here are some stories that quickly came to mind:

-when we were out of town one time (he was about a year old), a roommate agreed to take care of him and she moved from her tiny, hot upstairs room into our large, cooler bedroom. It had sliding glass door access to the yard and porch area. She brought her alarm clock, pillow, and a biology textbook with her into the room. During the weekend, Zach proceeded to destroy each of these items and nothing else in the room. Upon our return (within an hour), this vindictive dog visited this poor girls' upstairs room (NOTE: he wasn't allowed upstairs and had never before gone up there) and while she was IN THE ROOM, he took a dump on the floor and then ran under downstairs and crawled under the bed.

-ate an estimated 20-25lbs of dog food out of the bag. We came home to find the bag and pieces of dog food scattered all over the kitchen floor. He was a cyclindrical tank, a giant tube of a dog...He was so miserable. He cried out when he tried to lay down or if you tried to pet him, and he had the worst gas ever. We didn't feed him for 6 days.

-howled with air raid sirens that were common in Kansas. Loved to roll in the dirt (see picture below).

-Running, leaping high fives...we would start on opposite sides of the room and then he would run towards you and then, would leap up and high five me above my head; a great party trick.

-trained him to open and shut the screen door by tying a piece of rope to the door handle, so he and Katy went in and out as they pleased; he would give kisses to anyone I pointed to at.

-After being fed a piece of meat covered in hot sauce by a friend at a BBQ, he responded by walking over and biting him on the foot hard enough to put a hole in his shoe.

-Watching him bound through a meadow in Arkansas chasing after an armadillo, he loved leaping for river rocks and diving into deep pools; belly crawling to get lick of my 6-month old neice as she lay on the floor.

-once pooped in the bathtub to avoid the carpet floor. I can't begin to do justice to describe what he had to do to avoid going the bathroom in the house and he thought he was in trouble when we got home.

-would pout after either one of us left town or went on vacation without him.

Needless to say, I am sad to hear of his passing, but I know he lived a great life.

Movies to see this week...got to make at least 2

2007-07-08T23:49:00.000-07:00

I may get sucked into going to the drive-in movies this week...so I might end up seeing 'transformers' or something of that ilk. It will be fun if I'm sitting in lawn chairs, drinking cocktails with a few friends. Otherwise, no thanks.

Independent films getting good-great reivews.
1. Once
"a modern-day musical set on the streets of Dublin."

2. Eagle vs. Shark
Reviewed in "the stranger" last week.

3. Walking to Werner
documentary road movie

4. Fido
zombie farce

5. 1408
John Cusack horror film...not my genre, nor really independent, but suppose to be well-made

Experimental Science and Cooking

2007-07-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday evening...while cooking a vegetable feast for myself, I was pondering my lot in life and the intersection of my cooking with my research...I've been wrapped up in my head of late.

Part of this is a by-product of the work I've been doing:: mucho solitary DNA bench work, too much care-taking of my firework phobic dog around the 4th of July, reading several scientific articles, finishing one good book and starting another, and the on-going solitary rehab of my leg.

Despite this seeming isolation, I haven't been a complete shut in....Tuesday night I had a date (it was fine, but I'm not interested in pursuing it any further), Wednesday night I watched fireworks with a co-worker from a Wallingford Rooftop (cliche yes, but fun nonetheless), and Thursday night, I hosted a showing of the 1980s classic, Repo Man for ~12 guests which included me making my soon-to-be-world famous homemade ice cream sandwiches AND a white-trash version cherry-garcia ice cream.

So what led to this blog...first some background: I enjoy cooking and generally am fairly handy in the kitchen in general (thank you single working mother for teaching me the basics). My particular cooking strengths are all varieties of breakfasts, the BBQ grill in general, and cooking meat. However, I do have some large limitations due to a conservative childhood menu (thank you picky eater older brother), a trailer park up bringing in meat-potato dominated Montana, and I rarely try completely new recipes. However relative to my relatives, I have a HIGHLY diverse diet.

Cooking and DNA (molecular biology) work is very experimental and recipe driven. I spend much of my laboratory time following a general protocol (recipe) that I must modify/optimize to work with my particular study. Add a dash of this or that, one variable at a time and see if it works. Often it sucks, but when an experiment works like a finely prepared meal, it's a beautiful thing. Well, today, I had mixed success in the lab. The most crucial part of the experiment did not work.

I returned home after stopping at the fruit/veggie stand to buy some onions, tomatoes, pita to combine with some left over guacamole for a meal. However, I bought a bunch of fresh veggies and when I got home, I went experimentally nuts by cooking a huge bunch of veggies (onions, peppers, potatoes, zucchini, green beans), rice pilaf, and corn on the cob. I just kept adding things to the stir fry. Individually, all of the veggies were well cooked (surprisingly), but the combination of things...not so good. It was like (sports analogy alert)...it was like the USA Basketball team composed of NBA all-stars losing in the Olympics to European teams that lack a single player in the NBA. Despite that fact that all of the USA players are individually amazing and dominant, they lose to a less athletic team that plays together. The lesson: team chemistry is important. Tonight in the kitchen, I was team USA. Oh well, it was a healthy meal. I'll gladly except the Bronze medal.
-----
Not sure if this is really related to my above ruminations on life...I am watching the canadian channel which is showing a solid romantic movie right now...Sliding Doors. A movie that plays with the idea of what if...how small seemingly inconsequential things can have large impacts on the experiences we have and the context in which we meet people and interact within our relationships (e.g. butterfly effect...try not to think of bad Ashton Kutcher movie that I've never scene...too late. Dammit). I saw this movie at the theater long ago.

part 2, Factotum - ending [censored] [spoilers]

2007-07-01T19:00:00.001-07:00

This is a great ending to a well acted film...the actual poem starts about 1:15 into it and ends at about 90 seconds later. Fyi...there's a topless stripper dancing while the voice over occurs.

Here's the quote:
"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is." -Charles Bukowski

A poem from the movie "Factotum", part 1

2007-07-01T18:55:00.001-07:00

I enjoyed the acting in this film and particularly enjoyed this scene.

This week's list

2007-06-26T23:12:00.001-07:00

-I got my friend hooked on the music of Feist. Not exactly manly man music, but I still enjoy it. There's longer blog in exploring a contradiction in the music I listen to and the most common impression that I leave with people. Not today...big meeting with PhD advisor tomorrow. Been writing and compiling data for two days. I am soo sick of Excel right now.
-Ironically on the musical taste front, Pixie in her latest blog mentioned nearly all men like Led Zepplin...which I do...although they never made past the end of the cassette tape era.
-Cool articles on Evolution in the New York Times that past few days.
-Love this T-shirt...hilarious: Adorable Disaster!

-Hope to meet one of my 3 readers for coffee this week.
-Wrote my first section of my dissertation today...t-minus 46 weeks.

Medicine Wheels and the longest day of the year

2007-06-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

A place I have visited before and a sacred site to the Crow Indian Nation. Amazing place.

http://www.crystalinks.com/bighorn.html

Summertime begins...

2007-06-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

One day when the weather is warm
I’ll wake up on a hill
And hold the morning like it was a plow
And cut myself a row
And follow it until
I know better, by god then I know now
------

I haven't blogged in the past few weeks for several reasons.

1) I've been extremely busy with my research. I've been making some impressive progress and am looking forward to finishing my dissertation.
a) Spent a week at the American Society of Mammalogists meeting in New Mexico. I saw a lot of old friends and other science nerd types, drank too much, and gave a decent talk that was well received. I heard some rumblings about a potential job when I finish as well.
b) Albuquerque has a huge homeless population and some really poor neighborhoods. My friend who lives there had TWO separate stories of people trying to break into her house WHILE she was in the house. She's lived there for 6 months and her house is not in a bad neighborhood.
c) Last week, I returned from New Mexico and began planning for the rest of the summer. I needed to visit the University of Puget Sound Natural History Museum to obtain some samples for DNA analysis. Fortunately, I called them on Thursday morning and found out that they are in the process of moving the Natural History Museum to a new building. Access to the museum would be blocked for the next 4-6 months beginning the NEXT DAY...So, I had to take an emergency trip down to Tacoma that afternoon. I ended up spending 14 hours in the collection...I got home at 4:30am. I was cutting small pieces of skin from rodents that were collected from 1930s-1960s. Several of these samples are from extinct subspecies or species. I've spent the next 4 days working around the clock (literally) to get DNA from these tiny pieces of skin. My sleep schedule is all screwed up right now...I nearly collapsed at 3pm today...mocha to the rescue. I will have a pretty good idea in the next few days if some of these samples will work (fyI: DNA may be too degraded to work with on these samples...our success rate getting DNA sequences is around ~75%, but you never know).

2) Other things are my life are pretty good. Still rehabbing my leg which sucks. Heal dammit. I'm officially out for summer outdoor volleyball and ultimate frisbee. All I can do is walk and bike. I need some team sports dammit. However, I've been seeing some good films lately...Knocked Up, Parallex View, Waitress, La Doublet. Looking forward to 'Sicko' and other indy flicks.

3) I did have one minor blip whereby I lost my cool with my ex-roommate three weeks ago. At the time of the initial encounter, I wasn't ever going to even blog about it. I wasn't writing much as work for the Mammal conference was ramping up and it wasn't that big of deal really. But I have since learned some follow up information that for a while made me hesitant to keep this blog going...between work and me mulling it over that decision...therefore, no new posts until now.

The story is not very interesting. It's not...it's mostly pathetic. Basically, the ex-roommate and I were trying to maintain a friendship after she moved out (I've briefly mentioned why in 3 previous blogs. She wanted to date, I didn't.). We work in the same department and at occasionally run into each other and share numerous friends. I assumed that things were ok between us as we had been texting and e-mailing funny things since she moved out.

As I came to find out, I was clearly wrong. At a departmental BBQ, she blew me off repeatly in front of our friends...high school shit, like not returning a "hi" and then turning her back to me after I approached her and 3 other friends. Not a big deal, but odd. The knowing reaction of the two of the people told me all I needed to know about our 'friendship'. I walked away as it was clear that I was not welcome. At the time, I was confused by her reaction and the other friends' reaction so later, I went for another helping of being 'friendly'. After I organized the second annual departmental kickball game (that's right, 30+ uncoordinated and intoxicated scientists playing kickball...hilarity always ensues), there was an after-party hosted by the ex-roommate. Again I approached her and politely told her that I wouldn't be making it to the after-party because I had tickets to a concert. After another similar encounter of being ignored and the back turn...being two beers in, I lost my cool and told her with a smartass smile on my face "so that's how it's going to be". She shot me a glare and I returned the hard look and then, I followed it up with the always mature, "fuck off then". Good times. I then went behind the school and smoked two cigarettes before study hall started...just kidding. Feeling embarrassed about my little outburst, I decided to move on...I then, went to an amazing show at the Croc. (SIDE NOTE: Go see the Portland-based band, Horsefeathers....great show and interesting sound). I did received a smartass phone call from the ex-roommate at 1 am. I just hung up and really thought little of her since as I prepared my research/presentation for the previously mentioned New Mexico trip.

b) Here's the follow up and why all this drama b.s....I may be throwing these two people under the bus, but while in New Mexico, two of my co-workers told me why the ex-roommate was pissed at me. For the record, I did not solicit this information...apparently, she claimed that she was through being nice as I personally trashed her on some blog. THIS ONE. My immediate response led to a bunch of laughter and head shaking...a) not a single friend of mine knows about this blog or it's obscure ass title. fyi: I quit myspace about 4 months ago and started on e-blogger so that I could write more freely (not that I have done much of it) and I was tired of being hacked with spam.

So how did she find out that I wrote about her? The only way she could have found out is this....she got on MY LAPTOP while we were still living together and searched for this blog in my bookmarks/history. So apparently, she's been reading these posts. What horrible things did I write about her? I couldn't remember exactly, but I didn't remember trashing her. Here's what I wrote in 3 separate blogs:
________________
Blog reference #1

"The fun lasted until the last 2 hours when two of my friends became waaaay too drunk. I was thrown back to high school as I began to deal with an arguing couple who's 10yr relationship is likely on the rocks and my roommate who is amorous towards me (particularly while drunk, which she was). I spent a lot of energy trying to manage the happiness of people who were struggling with just being sober. Not good times.

I haven't written about this yet, but my roommate wants to turn our friendship into something more. While I enjoy her company and she's attractive, I refuse to date a roommate period (and I am not interested in dating her after she moves out). It's not a good decision to date one's roommate (even if one is interested), because I feel it amplifies the intimacy too soon. I've been VERY upfront about my thoughts on this with the roommate, but she 'not down with just being friends and me dating others'. As a result, she is moving out soon. Because we are co-workers (grad students in the same department), there has been a great deal of gossip about our 'relationship', particularly now that she is moving out after 8 months.

The nutshell of all of this is that I would like to meet someone new and hope to maintain my friendship with the roommate. I hope my other two friends work out their problems or break-up.

Here's the final irony...we are all committed to doing this again tonight for Lebowski Fest bowling party."
----------
Blog #2

3) "Roommate is moving out this weekend. See earlier post for reason why. I could write a bunch more about the situation, but I don't feel like writing about it. We are trying to be friends...we'll see if it lasts."
--------
Blog #3

"5) Since my last blog posting, many new changes in my personal life. A friend moved in for few months while she's between field research seasons and the old roommate (who wanted to date me and refused to just be friends) moved out. I never fully realized how difficult the situation in the house had become for me emotionally. The energy in the house is so different since she moved out. Two friends have independently mentioned the energy in the house. You may want to interpret this two ways: either I have too many new ager/crystal-loving people around me or it was tense housing situation. The biggest physical change is there is less clutter in the house which I like a lot. On a related note, I went out on an actual date this past weekend. I avoided asking out two people while the roommate situation was being resolved."
---------------

It's made me kind of uncomfortable to think that she would waste her time reading this drivel. Furthermore, I didn't really trash her. Move on dammit. Here's the thing in all honestly...while we were living together, i thought our friendship was great...similar sense of humor, enjoyed busting each other's balls, and we discussed a lot of hard issues about going through divorces and dealing with family, relationships, etc.... We did all this with sincerity and humor. In other words, a healthy friendship and relationship. Without going into the details, it is clear that our motivations from the start were different. The fact that she wouldn't downshift to being just friends at the time, saddened me. It really did. As for now, I don't really care one way or the other if we ever become friends again. I wlll be civil and never direct an F-bomb at her again.

If she's reading this...so be it. It's not that good of a read.

Owls flying into Windows

2007-06-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

I just added a 5 pictures...need to share the story of the first two owl pictures and the two 'prom' photos.

An ornithologist friend pointed out this 'window strike' by what appears to be a small owl on the UW campus. The owl slammed into a windowed sky bridge that connects two buildings near the Agua Verde restaurant on Lake Union.

The shape and size are owl like...you can even see the mark of the beak/bill on the upper right. fyi...Owls produce a fine powder in their feathers that aids in dampening the sound as they fly (so they can snatch small rodents). Window strikes are a big source of mortality for our feathered friends...on a happy note, it does appear that the owl survived this impact.

Here's an article describing a similar scenario with a nice picture....
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/s/207/207091_owl_leaves_a_surprise_featherprint.html
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Regarding the prom pictures of yours truly, it was a birthday party of a friend of a friend from about 6 weeks ago....Ironically enough, like an owl I also have been known to leave a fine powdery down. My chest hair produces a fine dusting of material also used for stealthy approaches. It leaves a shroud like imprint on my bed and couch. Nice imagery huh?

Tomorrow I'm off to New Mexico for the annual meeting of the American Society of Mammalogists. Yes, 600+ mammal researchers are gathering...lots of beer, firm handshakes, and beards will be present. In preparation, I shaved. Always the outsider. Anyways, looking forward to seeing old friends and schmoozing with potential employers and collaborators.

picture from NY Times

2007-05-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

ARLINGTON, VA: (Photo by John Moore/Getty Images)

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

2007-05-27T01:44:00.000-07:00

Ready for a rambling bit o'blogginess? Here goes...I just had pretty fun night with a bit of junior high drama (pronounced draaa-ma). At 4pm, I kidnapped with my friend Katy McK to go see 'Hot Fuzz'. Very clever while being completely stupid...needless to say, I loved it. Katy and I took the hound for a nice walk, then parted ways. I went to a nearby pub with 3 other graduate school friends to watch highly trained men beat each other up (ultimate fighting). Again good times. We then headed back to my house for additional drinks and a nice hour long soak in the hot tub.

The draaa-ma started at the pub while the two women were in the loo (yes, I said loo, what of it?)...I am friends with these 3 people, but we do not each other that well. They all know each other well, I am the newcomer to the group. So while we were alone...the guy began asking me why I had not asked the one women whom I have casually know for about 2 months...apparently she's likes me (omg, I hope we can go to sadie hawkins together!). Here's the thing, this women is just shy of 35, a PhD student, Eastern Cherokee, athletic, attractive and apparently LOVES to watch highly trained men beat the shit out of each other. She and I share a lot in common, both are mostly Italian-American and Indian and biologists. Single relatively attractive, indigenous men and women with advance degrees in the sciences, no history of drug problems nor children is as frequent as a fair and balanced report on Fox news (damn that awful Fox news analogy was hard to come up with....I need to sleep soon...it's 2 am).

So on paper, I should be ALL over this woman and that was exactly the point of my male friend as he tried to convince me to ask out this woman. During the night, he made 3 other comments about us 'hooking up' right in front of the whole table...thanks for the awkward forced interactions. Here's the thing, while I find this woman quite pretty and all those other attributes are rolling in my head. I am just not into her. She and I are like oil and water personality wise and more importantly, she rarely make me laugh. There's nothing that vicerally excites me about her. In my 20's, I would totally taken a flyer on such a woman on the hope that something would grab me about her physically/personality as I got to know her better. I don't do this anymore. I trust my gut (sensu Malcolm Gladwell's Blink for a sense of what I am getting at). I spent seven years with and eventually married to the 'on paper' perfect woman...and I shouldn't have and I knew it early on and ignored it. Now I know myself better, I won't chase someone who doesn't dazzle me from the start. I realize that all relationships evolve over time...after that wonderful initial physical and emotional excitement wears off, the actual best part is when you come to the point when you can transition to, I hate to say this but, transition to the mundane of everyday sharing of your life with someone. While I enjoy the drug like high of a new love, the rubber hits the road so to speak when you move on to the mundane...honey can I make you a grilled cheese sandwich? That's the mundane I am looking forward to.

Sex Advice

2007-05-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry...no sex advice today. I tapped into a little yellow journalism to gather reader(s).

Here's a solid description of the kind of research that I do (ie Using DNA differences to infer history)...except with Australian birds and Pacific NW mammals. Fyi...it's ~20 minutes long.

__________________

DNA Analysis Illuminates the History of Man

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10438216

Fresh Air from WHYY, May 25, 2007 · The latest techniques in DNA analysis have opened a window on the history of human evolution. Nicholas Wade, a science reporter for The New York Times, chronicles this new avenue of science in his book Before the Dawn: Recovering the Lost History of Our Ancestors.

This interview was originally broadcast on April 19, 2006.

Athiests with Attitude

2007-05-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2007/05/21/070521crbo_books_gottlieb/
From the New Yorker article...the last paragraph. It's a great dinner party factoid...the 4th most common belief is unbelief.

Reviewing a large number of studies among some fifty countries, Phil Zuckerman, a sociologist at Pitzer College, in Claremont, California, puts the figure at between five hundred million and seven hundred and fifty million. This excludes such highly populated places as Brazil, Iran, Indonesia, and Nigeria, for which information is lacking or patchy. Even the low estimate of five hundred million would make unbelief the fourth-largest persuasion in the world, after Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism. It is also by far the youngest, with no significant presence in the West before the eighteenth century. Who can say what the landscape will look like once unbelief has enjoyed a past as long as Islam’s—let alone as long as Christianity’s? God is assuredly not on the side of the unbelievers, but history may yet be.

Six degrees of sleeping with Kevin Bacon?

2007-05-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning...activities...walked hound, had iced-mocha at the chocolatier place on Green Lake, and did my rehab exercises on my achilles by stretching and then soaking in hot tub. I don't know why, but it's always nicer in the hot tub when it's raining. Hot tub also took care of the lingering effects of last nights mojitos and wine.

-Last night...Louisiana fried food, mojitos, and 25 very drunk/stoned biologists. Great party. Lots of laughter, a few OMG inducing drunk conversations to highlight the evening. Two weird things happened...found a friend has completely become a creepy new ager...unsolicited, she recommended SEVEN self-help, Deepak Chopra/dr. phil sounding books. She was so adamant and intense while talking about her conversion...it reminded me of a born-again christian type. I know she gone through some painful personal experiences and this is how she has coped (and the associated personal growth...even it's in a direction that I wouldn't recommend) with these traumas during the past year. To cap off the evening, as we were leaving, she open mouth kissed the last 8 of us...including three very shocked women. I felt bad for her at the end. It just wasn't the time or place to be that emotionally exposed and vulnerable. I hope she finds the balance again.

Second, two women friends (one married and other just out of long-term relationship) realized an ex-girlfriend of mine had years-ago slept with the husband of the first woman and was now dating the second woman's former long-term relationship guy. This led to a small cohort of people who kept trying to tease me about the fact that we had by proxy 'slept together'. I responded that I was going to go get myself checked out at the STD hospital immediately and that I was currently 89% disease free. Good times. Also learned that...Apparently, this woman that I dated and the long-term guy are full on swingers now. This explains a lot about why she and I broke up after 6 weeks...I must have boring the shit out of her with my monogamy and relatively low level of freekiness. On the freeky scale (that would be a good blog idea actually...compile a freekiness index...like most things, I'm sure it's already been done)...anyways, I think EVERYBODY has some level of freekiness. Alright, now that I've made the reader uncomfortable, I think we should move on.

-Really looking forward to the new Michael Moore film "sicko". It's getting nice reviews and skewers the American health care industry.

-Last DNA sequences that I will ever run on Mazama Pocket gophers has been completed! There's light at the end of the tunnel with those damn phd letters awaiting. Much work ahead of me, but LIGHT dammit!

What I'm listening to

2007-05-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

I created an iTunes mix.

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=254165819

PCR stress and early morning bird calls

2007-05-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

I awoke after 4 hours of sleep at 3:55am...stressed out about work, an ex-girlfriend who called out of the blue this weekend (future blog?), and a current girlfriend who I don't see myself with for very long. It was mostly the work that has me stressed (I keep telling myself that anyways). Isn't the best of times when you're mind keeps you body awake? I will coffee up and make it through the day.

Awaking before the sun, I did enjoy hearing the morning calls of birds. But as I thought more about it, I decided the birds were reminding me of my own status as a single male and in some way, I was being mocked (kinda of glass half full perspective). The repetitive calls by these males can be viewed as either sweet ballads to entice a mate or the shouting amongst testosterone-ladened males (picture the white tank top and the hairy shoulders) trying to clear a space in this world. I guess that perspective depends on who's listening.

Perhaps it was the combination of ornithology and stress that led to this 1970s song also filling my head REPEATEDLY. In fact it's why decided to blog...here's the lyric in my head and the actual lyrics (rarely the same).

"I remember when everybody was kung-fu fighting, it was so enlightening"

I know, what the hell is so enlightening about kung fu fighting or remembering the fighting? Clearly, I've lost my mind or I have a brain tumor.

The actual lyrics...
"Everybody was Kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing"

I hope you don't get that song stuck in your head. Enjoy.

Well, I better go get that coffee...3 shots please. Cloud City, I'm on my way.

Tightrope slam dancing

2007-04-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

I will have to make this brief (a requirement given the length of the last self-centered ramblings). I'd tried re-reading what I wrote in my previous blog...IT'S UNREADABLE! Nice work...I say with a slight tone of sarcasm...which I mention due to my limited writing ability to convey such a feeling.

Anyways...I am on day 2 of getting only 4.5 hours of sleep. Why? I am giving my first invited talk/departmental seminar today at the University of Puget Sound. I generally do well when I am in stressful situations, but this is a little too much stress at the moment.

My itinerary:
2:45 pm - meet with faculty about your work with Study Skills Workshops and Under Represented Minority (URM) programs, etc.
3:45 pm – set up for seminar at 4 pm.
5:00 - 6:00/630 pm – dinner (pizza) with several students (variety of backgrounds). Talk about research/graduate school.

Yes, 45 minutes of me talking about Pocket Gophers and related researchy things to ~50 scientists and undergrads. I have NEVER done this before. It's basically a job talk (without a job on the table). I wll be needing to this kind of thing in the future as I get on the job market so at the very least it's good practice. But tres stressful. Here's my dilemna...I will do 'ok'. I know this. The talk is fine despite having too many slides...overall the talk has a nice mix of science and humor. It will be decently received..however, it's NOT a great talk. I know this too. My goal is to make it through the day without spilling coffee on myself, getting toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe, or making a complete ass of myself.

Tonight around 9pm...I expect to have 2-3 gin and tonics in me and I'll be soaking in the hot tub. I make sure to have the roommate check on me so that I don't pass out and drown.

Not sure how to end this rant...need to go practice the talk and maybe dump 10 slides.

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Joe Henry

2007-04-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

Oh, the irony. I was checking out iTunes and found myself being the first person to place a review for one of my favorite musicians, Joe Henry. He's a little obscure, but I own everything he has ever done. I've never really written a review before and certainly won't make it a habit. Anyways, I was listing my favorite songs on several albums and little snippets of lyrics that I love. I wanted to get the lyrics right and did a few google searches to make sure I had the wording right. I decide that shouId write a blog with some personal stories that I associate with individual songs and snippets of lyrics.

Well, guess what I found, somebody beat me to the punch by one week and they've clearly have more html skills (I html, yes it's a verb, I html at a 3rd grade level, but you knew that already)...check out the the following link or read below...The original link has the album covers, some download links, and other stuff that didn't copy over.

I have to say that my favorite songs are not all that often in line with the author's, but I still enjoy his link. So I decided to mix in my own thoughts in and around the original blog....yeah, I know...it's a rambling mess of someone's music taste...a very personal perspective at that. I'm not sure how accessible this blog will be to people who are not fans already or don't know me well...oh, well. I guess you can chalk this blog up to my own selfish ramblings about an obscure musician who's most prominent claim to fame is that he is the brother-in-law of Madonna.

FYI: I've added songs/lyrics that I particularly love after the review of each album (MY FAVORITES). His first 5 albums are very alt-country/singer songwriterish with some notable exceptions, while his last 5 albums are electric with occasional jazz influences. He's mostly famous for his recent work as a grammy award winning producer...check out a nice interview with NPR's Terri Gross from last year: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5161788

Sorry about the length.
-Corey-
_______________________________________
http://www.jefitoblog.com/?p=1168

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Joe Henry
Tuesday April 17th 2007, 7:00 am

He’s one of his generation’s most wonderfully unique songwriters, but Joe Henry has always been arguably better-known for things having nothing to do with his songs — being married to Madonna’s sister, for instance, or producing a string of superb modern soul albums for other artists. While it’s as likely as not that you’ve heard Henry’s name, if his sales are any indication, chances are slim that you’ve actually spent any time with his music.

Henry isn’t blameless for this state of affairs. In most of these stories, incompetent or unsympathetic labels are to blame, but Henry’s been lucky in that regard; he spent years with Mammoth, and has since moved on to Anti-, both sterling outposts of patience and artistic integrity. The honest, barest truth is that Joe Henry’s music is really not for everyone. It takes time and attention to appreciate; even on his quieter, more stripped-down albums, the songs and performances are woven from dense, often abstract components, and on later releases, he’s veered off into strange, mostly uncharted territory. The cumulative effect is one of distance — as a performer, he often seems affable enough, even if his protagonists tend toward the seedier end of the spectrum, but he comes across rather aloof. The rewards for the converted, however, are substantial.

Lyrics are always helpful with Henry, but sometimes you need a flashlight and a roadmap too. We’ll do what we can. Buckle in.
----
Talk of Heaven (1986)

Henry’s debut took awhile to reach a mass audience — it wasn’t released on CD all that long ago — and it’s easy to imagine him being just fine with that. It isn’t a bad, or even embarrassing album, even as debuts go; on the other hand, there’s nothing all that remarkable about the material, especially when compared with his later work.

On the plus side, you can trace the outlines of the artist he’d soon become — Henry’s love of reverb (especially on his vocals) is evident throughout, as is his penchant for famous names in his song titles (”Dewey Wins” [download] predates “Richard Pryor Addresses a Tearful Nation” by 15 years). But though he’d soon go on to twist and bend his influences in confoundingly original ways, on Talk of Heaven, he’s still too clearly indebted to Dylan, Waits, et al. to fully establish his own identity.

All of which is to be expected — it’s a debut record, after all — and there’s plenty to enjoy here, including “Friend of a Friend,” “There’s Been a Fire,” and “Abraham” (download). But why cover “Wild Night”?
----
Murder of Crows (1989)

Three years later, Henry resurfaced on a new label (A&M) with a new band (a crew of session vets, including Larry Campbell, Van Dyke Parks, and Chuck Leavell). The result, budget notwithstanding, is disappointingly similar to Talk of Heaven. Again, Murder of Crows isn’t a bad album, nor is it anything for Henry to be ashamed of — but in the context of his other albums, it’s fairly pale and ordinary.

It’s a shame, because even though he’d enjoy a higher media profile later in his career, he’d never command this sort of label investment in the future, and it’s tempting to wonder what might have happened if he’d released one of his later albums here instead.

Still, not a bad set of songs — try “Vigilante” (download) and “Map of Belgium” (download) for starters — and to A&M’s credit, the label didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater when Murder of Crows failed to chart.
----
Shuffletown (1990)

Henry’s transformation between his second and third releases isn’t quite stunning, but it’s close. For this set, recorded live to two-track over a four-day period under the direction of producer T-Bone Burnett, Henry started fiddling with conventional rock & roll. Shuffletown flirts with the edges of country music, not unlike, say, the Jayhawks (whose members would soon record with Henry), but it’s got a shadowy, pensive vibe all its own, due in part to the presence of trumpeter Don Cherry.

It’s a late-night, small-town album — kind of like where Waits might have gone if he hadn’t just gotten weird. Like most of Henry’s stuff, this material isn’t especially cheerful, and in spots is even a little sinister — take the haunting stalker’s lament, “Date for Church” (download), or the rural Gothic tableau “John Hanging” (download):

MY FAVORITES:
1. Helena by the Avenue
"You wrote your love a letter / and folded it away / in the bottom of your chiffarobe / for some unimagined day "

2. John Hanging...I also love the cheerfulness of this song despite such a morbid story. Jazz trumpeter Don Cherry plays the lead which surprising works. fyi: Personally, I am not a fan of jazz.

"There’s a perfect blue / Like a floating jar / Above the trees / Strung like a guitar; / A wind is rising. / The spring is swelling/ – they whisper secrets/ (But John’s not telling) //

John is hanging / And his musty suit / Is hiked above / His ankle boots //

It is November / and the fish are singing / up in the timber"

3. Date for Church
"I've got a date / in the second pew / I might be late / might just be watching her / from the balcony"
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Short Man’s Room (1992)

A sunnier, more traditionally folk/country set, Short Man’s Room won Henry rabid critical acclaim, and to this day is widely regarded as a career high point. Having come at Henry’s music from the other direction, I hold a dissenting opinion; the songs are great, and the arrangements (aided and abetted by, among others, the Jayhawks’ Gary Louris and Marc Perlman) are lovely, but the whole thing is, for lack of a better term, disappointingly straightforward. There’s little of the disquieting wobble and squall that Henry would grow to use so effectively on later recordings.

Ultimately, Short Man’s Room’s appeal rests largely on how you feel about those later albums — if a record like Scar leaves you cold, then Short Man’s limited commercialism will likely be somewhat soothing. After all, the songs, at their core, are just as sound; Henry had developed a wonderful knack for distilling complex characters in the space of a few minutes, and on songs such as “Stations” (download) and the title track (download), he makes fine use of it.

MY FAVORITES: This is my favorite album of his earlier singer-songwriter albums.

1. Short Man's Room: great song and it's fun to waltz to.
"I'm a volunteer fireman each christmas / cuz there's brandy wherever you go "
AND
"I once thought that I'd live forever / I pitched for the Indian Leagues / But now I guess I've learned some better / You're only as good as your needs / The better you watch your head / a guy like you / You're not near as tall as you're thinkin' / But then this is a short man's room."

2. King's Highway...a rocking story of murder and regret.
"It wasn't how I had it planned / when it finally came around / I took a man with my own hands / but I held him close when he went down"

3. The Diving Bell
" Can you tell / is that dog tied? / Are your hands that cold now / or is it mine? / Time ago, it was on Meeting Street / you pulled me close to you / Now you ask "which way from here?" / like it was mine to choose "

4. Last One Out: beautiful violin playing on this song and another waltz.
"Somehow I wound up with the keys / I guess it's my turn to close. / I'll give the pastor his last drink for free / and maybe have my ride home when he goes."
AND
"The radio speaks in tongues / with bits of song that I once knew / it's warm tonight, but I close my coat / as if I might still owe a chill to you."

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Kindness of the World (1993)

Sort of a sequel to Short Man’s Room, in that Henry used some of the previous album’s personnel, and followed a musical path that was, if anything, even more straight-ahead country than before (he covered Tom T. Hall’s “I Flew Over Our House Last Night,” and wrote “She Always Goes” (download) for George Strait).

It elevated his standing with the alt.crowd, and the songs are typically strong, but tracks like “Some Champions” (download) illustrate that Henry was in danger of falling into a John Prine-shaped rut. Perhaps sensing this, he did what he’s always done — climbed up and moved on.

First, though, he topped off Kindness with a five-song EP, Fireman’s Wedding, which collected the title track (taken from Kindness of the World) and live recordings of “Hello Stranger” (download) and “Friend to You” (download) with non-album cuts “Dark as a Dungeon” (download) (featuring Billy Bragg) and “Stranger” (download).

MY FAVORITES, includes the name of my blog...another great waltz.

1. ONE DAY WHEN THE WEATHER IS WARM

One day when the weather is warm
I’ll wake up on a hill
And hold the morning like it was a plow
And cut myself a row
And follow it until
I know better, by god then I know now

There was no taste of spring
In the breath you blew away
And nothing of the color left in your face
And no way I could keep
The faith, you lost in me
And nothing that I could raise up in its place

It’s the truth I keep alone
In the guise of love and help
It’s the awful truth
To think I always known
I gave my life to you just to save myself

One day when the weather turns
As sweet as the sky is deep and wide
I’ll cut myself a row
Like a man in his sleep
That will find me farther on
Than all the times I’ve tried

One day when the weather is warm
I’ll wake up on a hill
And hold the morning like it was a plow
And cut myself a row
And follow it until
I know better, by god then I know now

2. Fireman's Wedding
"There's a wind that will blow every streamer and sign from the cars/ and we'll chase every plate full of food rolling out through the yard / And I'll wrap myself around you as the clouds blow away from the stars / As if all news will be good news from now on."
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Trampoline (1996): summary...Joe Henry goes electric. Traditional fans upset, but I like the change.

A stunning blend of barbed-wire threads and atmospheric textures, Trampoline finds Henry collaborating with Helmet guitarist Page Hamilton and Ednaswap drummer Carla Azar to move away from more obvious country and folk overtones, and into blissfully uncharted territory.

It isn’t always a marriage made in heaven; occasionally (as on opener “Bob & Ray”) Henry strays from cogent narrative into stream-of-consciousness territory. It’s a cute trick, but not one befitting him, as the album’s stronger material makes powerfully clear. Witness “Flower Girl” (download), featuring ghostly support from the Ames Township Barber’s Choir and the terrific couplet “I was going to be the bride of this whole godforsaken mountainside/Instead, I’m just the flower girl, dropping petals all through this empty world,” and the gorgeous, sorrowful “I Was a Playboy.”

And on the title track (download), Henry proves — as he would be increasingly reluctant or unable to do — that it’s possible to meld his musical wanderlust to airplay-friendly melodies. Start your collection here.

MY FAVORITES:

1. Ohio Air Show Plane Crash: a love song set around a plane crash...beautiful in an unexpected way. I have to admit that this song has been an accurate barometer of the my most significant relationships. If a girlfriend loves this song, then good times are ahead. It's such a good indicator, I may start bringing the cd along for first dates...fyi: I haven't played the song for the woman I am currently seeing, but I am guessing that she wouldn't like it.

Ohio Air Show Plane Crash

Just before the crash
I was at the rail,
I remember now somebody shouting
But I couldn't hear to well
and when he went into a dive
we all came to our feet,
and just like he meant to
nose into the lake
he did so perfectly

Just before the crash
I was watching you,
thinking how time hasn't changed
even half of what it promised to;
You laughed and you turned
to what I almost didn't see
and when I felt him hit the bridge
at first, I thought it was just me

My legs were hanging of the rail
and I was feeling brave,
pretending I might fall or jump
and talking trash with Dave'
I remember now someone shouting
I can hear it, too
sometimes the voice, it calls me back
and sometimes it sounds like you

But I will always keep you in my dreams
I'll always keep you in my dreams
always keep you in my dreams
keep you in my dreams
in my dreams

2. Bob & Ray:
"And a cricket that won't let me sleep / he sizzles like a radio / another world away / he laughs at me at my bare feet / my flashlight, robe, and blown TV"
And
"give me all my things / someone give that fucking bug a new song to sing"
3. Go With God (topless shoeshine)
"Time has run away with us / and it laughs at all the tears and fuss / best go with god and let me trust / the ghost in here is you// And shine, shine it almost shines / like you were here with me"
4. Trampoline
"And if I really thought I could
I'd give up your ghost for good
But I'm not sure it isn't you
That keeps my ghost from leaving too

But I don't miss you half as much
As who you made me think I was
When I could see myself the way you do
I could almost see myself in you"
______
Fuse (1999)

Carla Azar returns for Fuse, and is joined here by an expanded cast including Chris Whitley, the Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Jakob Dylan, and Daniel Lanois (who helped mix, along with T-Bone Burnett). The result uses the same rough sonic template, and is every bit as lovably off-kilter, as Trampoline, but the beats are heavier and the songs’ meanings are buried further in ghostly webs of sound.

On its own, it’s a wonderful, odd-shaped chunk of late 20th-century rock music; strung between Trampoline and Scar, however, it loses a little of its impact. It’s unfortunate, because in some ways, Fuse is really better than its predecessor (and certainly easier to absorb than what was to follow). Check out “Skin and Teeth” (download) and “Like She Was a Hammer” (download).

MY FAVORITES: Overall this is my favorite album. I've never gotten tired of listening to it...very rare for me. Great rhythm and baselines. A CD for long road trips and open highways.

1. Skin and Teeth

2. Stop

Don't tell me to stop Tell the rain not to drop, Tell the wind not to blow Cause you said so; Tell me love isn't true It's just something we do, Tell me everything i'm not But don't tell me to stop  Tell the sun not to shine Not to get up this time, Let it fall by the way, Leave me where I lay; Tell the leaves not to turn But don't tell me I'll learn, Take the black off a crow But don't tell me to go  Tell the bed not to lay Like the mouth of a grave, Not to stare up at me Like a calf on its knees; Tell me love isn't true It's just something we do, Tell me everything I'm not But don't tell me to stop

3. Want too Much...great rhythm between the lyrics and the baseline

I want too much, and I want you. When I hope I woke,  I want too much. When you try, to save yourself, And I hope you don't, I want too much.  In dreams I fly, above the barn, With goats and violins,  I want too much The palest girl, raises her arms, Waving from the fence,  I want too much  Even now, even now, even now,  I want no more, and I want too much.  I want the lost, forgotten miles To swallow up your street,  I want too much Raining smoke and dandelions, And silver at my feet, I want too much. But I want the phantom at the door, To put his hand in mine,  I want too much I want you to pull me down, And cover me with vines, I want too much.  Even now, even now, even now,  I want no more, and I want too much. I want too much.  Shh...  Your kiss left me a bloodied mess, And a trail behind, I want too much. If you fall, then I confess, Better you this time, I want too much.  And even now, even now, even now, I want no more, I want no more,  And even now, even now, I want no more, and I want too much. I want too much. I want too much. I want too much.

4. Curt Flood...instrumental

5. Fat...impossible to not shake you butt to this song. It can't be avoided.

6. Great Lake

Terry comes in laughing, shakes her coat off and I
Just can't bear to look
Anymore, I hear somebody laughing, I just figure
I've been took

She stands right behind me with one hand on my back
My eyes are closed
At first I think she speaks to me, but when I hear him say "Hi"
I say "OH!"
________

Scar (2001)

None of Henry’s previous albums had been what you’d call “easy” or “obvious,” but compared to Scar, they were as simple and straightforward as anything by Hilary Duff. Having done what he could with canned beats and alt-pop dressing, he dialed back the noise and assembled a scarily talented band — including Marc Ribot, Brian Blade, Brad Mehldau, and Ornette Coleman — for this dark, jazz-kissed gem of an album.

By opening with the smoky, lurching “Richard Pryor Addresses a Tearful Nation,” Henry dives into the abyss feet first, daring the listener to follow; those who tune out before the band finishes vamping behind Coleman’s strangled lead are certainly forgiven, but stick around, and you’ll feel the album begin to draw you in, little by little, until you’re powerless to stop listening.

It’s the culmination of what is hopefully the first chapter in Henry’s recording career — a bewitching hodgepodge of piano-bar storytelling, modern jazz, Cuban music, and classic American torch songs…along with a few dozen other things, some of which probably haven’t even been invented yet. It’s got a frayed, ragged vibe, and Henry’s slippery rasp helps give the impression that the whole thing is always just a few notes away from falling apart, but it works flawlessly.

There isn’t a bad song here, but start with “Rough and Tumble” (download) and the heartbreaking, fourteen-and-a-half minute title track (download).

MY FAVORITES:

1. Richard Pryor Addresses a Tearful Nation...with Ornette Coleman blasting away along the way...the late Richard Pryor loved this song.

Sometimes I think I've almost fooled myself
Sometimes I think I've almost fooled myself--
Spreading out my wings
Above us like a tree,
Laughing now, out loud
Almost like I was free
I look at you as the thing I wanted most
You look at me and it's like you've seen a ghost
I wear the face
Of all this has cost:
Everything you tried to keep away from me,
Everything I took from you and lost

Lights shine above me, they're like your eyes above the street
Lights shine below me, they're like stars beneath my feet
I stood on your shoulders
And I walked on my hands,
You watched me while I tried to fall
You can't bear to watch me land

Take me away, carry me like a dove
Take me away, carry me like a dove
Love me like you're lying
Let me feel you near,
Remember me for trying
And excuse me while I disappear

----
Tiny Voices (2003)

More of the same from Henry, which is to say, more genre-defying bliss from pop’s reigning mad chemist. This release continues in the vein of Scar, at least insofar as it retains that album’s creaky, jazz-steeped production ethos. Different personnel lends a slightly different feel, but if you aren’t a jazz nerd, you aren’t liable to notice that it’s Don Byron and not Ornette Coleman handling the horn charts, or that Brad Mehldau isn’t playing piano. The songs are too fucking good. Tiny Voices is, like Scar, a bit of a grower — at first listen, much of the album doesn’t register beyond the strange-but-cool background music level. But little things leap out at you — the beautifully spare introduction to “Dirty Magazine,” the gently descending refrain of “Flag,” the broken optimism of “Leaning” (download), the haunting chorus backgrounds on the title track. Lines jump out at you here and there:

But it isn’t until about halfway through the album’s last track, “Your Side of My World” (download), that the album really sucks you in. “There you were, in your high heels and curls,” Henry groans, “Coming in big as life, from your side of my world.” Minutes later, from out of nowhere, a gospel choir. And it all comes together — this glorious cacophony, blaring forth from a creaking spaceship flown by a drunken alien pilot — and suddenly the album that’s been jabbering at you, softly but insistently, reaches out, grabs you by your lapels, and throws you across the room. You are now among the saved.

Tiny Voices is now four years old, and though Henry has used the intervening years to produce some wonderful albums, it comes as welcome — if completely unexpected — news that he’s reportedly collaborating with Loudon Wainwright III on music for Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up, due this summer. Lord only knows what a full-length album from the two of them would sound like; perhaps the movie will give us a chance to find out.

MY FAVORITES: I have to admit this album is not my favorite...a little too jazzy for my taste, but there's several great songs and his live shows were great. He played at the EMP SkyChurch and the Sunset Taverns several years back.

1. ANIMAL SKIN

I see in you an animal trace
That's quick in your blood and deep in your face,
Mine has been tamed; I'm shamed to pretend
When I'm this close to your animal skin

I remember when love was something I craved
But I settled for less and the comfort it gave,
For living is hard when real love begins
And it leaves heavy lines on your animal skin

Oh, let your arms make a deep night for me
Enclosing my world so I cannot see,
I'll rise with your breath and fall back again
Cause you bring me close to my animal skin
You bring me back to where I'd once been
When I'm this close to your animal skin

2. Sold...solid tune with a catchy chorus...KEXP played it a bunch when it was first released.

------
For those of you who made it to the end...Here's your payment for reading this whole damn thing (I don't expect to having to fulfill it)...a free drink of your choice at any watering hole in Seattle.

I'm in pain and I'm an idiot.

2007-04-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

First...my idiocracy: after obtaining some terrible research results and several DAYS of scratching my head about what to do next to solve the problem, I figured out why my DNA samples were failing. I forgot to dilute the damn samples. Argggg! Muy estupido! Just when I think I got this molecular work down pat, I screw something up. I need to get back into the field where I am truly competent.

Speaking of getting out in the field...at the current moment, I am unable to jog, run, or hike due to tendinitis in my achilles tendon. Yesterday, I had my first day of physical therapy. The treatment was short and required some painful massaging of the tendons in my foot (plantar fasciatus) and lower leg. Afterwards, my calf hurt a bit, but my achilles felt pretty good. Definitely progress.

Today, I went back in for measurements and plaster molds of my feet for some orthotics. Pain free experience. I did my morning stretching exercises and went into the lab (initially screwing up the samples as mentioned before, but solving the immediate problems in the afternoon and evening, eg. repeating yesterday's labors).

All day my calf hurt pretty bad, but I kept stretching it and rubbing which seemed to help some. I was walking fine on it. When I got home tonight, the roommate wanted to walk around Green Lake and I agreed to go in exchange for a 5 min. calf massage. She was barely rubbing in some areas and the pain was awful. So being an idiot, I still went on the walk (leg felt fine during). I iced my leg for 30 min. when we got back and then, tried to get up. BIG mistake. BIG...2nd worst physical pain of my life (distant second to a root canal). I cannot straighten my leg and put my heal on the ground. Shooting pain in my calf. Unfortunately I still needed to return to work for an hour so I hobbled my way back to finish up the lab stuff while debating whether or not to go to the emergency room. Decided against it for now. My treatment...RICE: rest, ice, compression, and elevation or something like that. 4 advil, 2 ice bags, and one beer later, I am still in pain and can't really walk without hopping. I think the "B" for beer is silent in my version of RICE. Not sure if this all part of the healing process or if I injured something new. Good times.

I don't think I've adequately described in this blog site how much of my identity is wrapped up in my playing of team sports. It's been nearly 7 weeks without any serious activity. It's driving me a bit stir crazy and I have/hate to admit. fyi: I was dribbling a basketball through my legs when I was 4 years old (the fact that I was also sucking the last threads of my 'blankee' at the same time need not be mentioned. Oops, dammit!). Let's move on as I've embarrassed myself. Again.

UPDATE:
Still limping badly, but some improvement today.

Cliff notes of a life

2007-04-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

Another laundry list post...

1) Plans for this evening are up in the air...my new 'friend' is battling a cold so our date is postponed tonight. She's someone I've know casually for a while, but didn't ask out due to the roommate situation. Last weekend we spent an evening out together with the requisite kissing and such that led to banana pancakes on Easter morn.. Knowing myself, I am not likely to fall for this woman (despite that she's pretty and fun to be around). I just didn't get the smack between the eyes feeling that typically happens. So since my date appears to be post-poned until at least this weekend...I may go to the Crocodile for the 1st Annual GONG SHOW. Sounds fun. I'll try to drum up some friends to go see this.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=196596

THU 12 $FREE
7PM DOORS
THE STRANGER & THE CROCODILE PRESENT:
THE FIRST ANNUAL GONG SHOW!
w/ your host David Schmader- a night to flex your freak muscle, based on the original Gong Show from the '70s, with celebrity judges and great prize giveaways. Get your freak on, or just come and gawk.

2) Last week and this week...many Indigenous activities. Annual Native Americans at UW symposium...It's a gathering of Native faculty and graduate students from all over the country. People presenting their research and networking.

I was on a three person panel talking for over an hour about 'how I became a biologist PhD'. I told a few funny stories about my family and myself. Then, I presented a 20 min talk on the pocket gophers I study in Washington, Oregon, and California. The talk went amazingly well...I'm getting better at talking about genetics and evolution to a mostly non-scientist crowd (most were education and social scientist types). It's a battle to be able to talk about complex things in an entertaining manner. Out of this conference, I have two invitations to speak at Eastern Washington University (not likely to ever do that one) and at the University of Puget Sound (in 2 weeks). Additionally formed a new group of FIVE Seattle area Native scientists (Native Science Nerds, NSN) that will meet monthly to exchange war stories, plan conferences, and other types of support.

The only negative of the whole weekend is that I agreed to help a friend by presenting a poster of my research at another UW event this Friday...I will be the token grad student in my relatively cheap suit standing for 2 hours near a pocket gopher poster while multi-millionaire (mostly republican) business donors ask me a few inane questions. I expect more than a few impolite headshakes as most of these people are VERY pro-land development (not to mention the huge social class differences) and I'm studying a threatened species that is hindering development in Tacoma, Olympia, and Vancouver areas. I always end up in a polite yet semi-tense discussion where I am forced to defend the Endangered Species Act to some middle-aged man who wants to build another housing development.

This weekend there's the annual UW Pow Wow. Good food and decent dancing/singing. Not the best, but I always go for a few hours to see friends...you always bump into someone you know traveling on the Pow Wow curcuit.

3) After a month of waiting to get an appointment with the bone-joint specialist, I finally got a diagnosis on my troublesome ankle and achilles tendon. In a nutshell, I won't require surgery. I have a fair bit of rehab on the achilles tendon and some support muscles in my hips/butt that affect my balance. I will have to wear special orthotics when playing sports (this has led to a whole series of smart ass comments from friends about me wearing a club foot boot or having short yellowbus footwear). Good times. Actually, I am happy to have a diagnosis and a window for when I can fully resume playing everything (ultimate frisbee, running, basketball, long alpine hikes, volleyball, etc....).

4) I went and saw one of my favorite bands: Mofro at neumo's on Friday night. Great crowd...danced and sang along to a few songs. Ran into some other friends at the bar as well. Great capstone to the Friday Indigenous conference events.

5) Since my last blog posting, many new changes in my personal life. A friend moved in for few months while she's between field research seasons and the old roommate (who wanted to date me and refused to just be friends) moved out. I never fully realized how difficult the situation in the house had become for me emotionally. The energy in the house is so different since she moved out. Two friends have independently mentioned the energy in the house. You may want to interpret this two ways: either I have too many new ager/crystal-loving people around me or it was tense housing situation. The biggest physical change is there is less clutter in the house which I like a lot. On a related note, I went out on an actual date this past weekend. I avoided asking out two people while the roommate situation was being resolved.

One other house note...a new person moved into the separate basement apartment (we share the backyard and laundy room/storage area). She seems nice...a paralegal from SanDiego while a very sweet lab-mix dog. Here's the problem: she leaves the dog in the yard for 12+ hours straight with NO f-ing water or shelter. The dog cries to be let inside all the time. How does someone in good conscience do that? Oh, did I mention that currently...she's unemployed!!! So outside of going for daily runs around greenlake and job interviews, she's at the house while her dog is outside. I and my roommate have taken to sharing in the care of this animal, but it's pissing us both off that she's even a dog owner.

6) Last night was the public education members night at the Burke Museum...the general public is allowed to visit the research collections and we talk about our research and the use of the museum collections. It was a lot of fun last night...these events can sometimes be awful experiences (this is by reputation, not my own experience). I created a little table with some weird Insectivores (Shrews): the second smallest mammal in the world and the only venomous mammals and then, I put out some cool Rodents (a carnivorous mouse that howls) and of course, my pocket gophers.

7) On the research front, my DNA sequences worked for most of my 96 samples...big plus. Now I have to analyze the data...dammit, there's always a catch.

8) That's enough ramblings...sorry for the mostly non-funny posting. Spring is here...

Peanut Butter disproves Evolution!!!

2007-03-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/share?v=FZFG5PKw504&embed=1

I guess this make George Washington Carver the creator! You can hear the screams of thousands of new species with every bite of a PB&J!

The fact that ~50% of Americans support this viewpoint makes me want to light myself on fire.

Things to do when sick

2007-03-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

1) Day 3 of my cold...tired of being stuck in my house. I'm going into work tomorrow regardless. I can't miss any more work.

2) I have friends in town for the weekend and we are supposed to get together tomorrow night. Not sure if I'll be up for it.

3) Roommate is moving out this weekend. See earlier post for reason why. I could write a bunch more about the situation, but I don't feel like writing about it. We are trying to be friends...we'll see if it lasts.

4) I've been reading a cool book and listening to a lot of music. I also burned a couple of mixed cd's that I really like. Here's one of them:

Finch On Sunday Horse Feathers
Used to Be Split Lip Rayfield
Circles JJ Grey & Mofro
Couch Song Sera Cahoone
Excuse Me Mr. Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminal
Dustbowl Horse Feathers
Let's Dance M. Ward
Game for Fools Jamie Lidell
Gold to Me Ben Harper
Last Time Sera Cahoone
Effigy Uncle Tupelo
Long Way Home Tom Waits
Losing Hope Jack Johnson
Man Over Robinella and the CCstringband
Multiply Jamie Lidell
Falling Through the Roof Horse Feathers
Crescent Moon Cowboy Junkies
At My Window Sad and Lonely Billy Bragg and Wilco
Walk Away Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals

5) Heard from my friend Jay in Minnesota...he got some potential bad news regarding his families' lake cabin. It's an amazing place on a great lake. There's a possibility their place may get bought out by some developers who have been raising property taxes on the place. I hope it works out. The situation reminded me of the following song:

Houses in the Fields by John Gorka

They're growing houses in the fields between the towns
And the Starlight drive-in movie's closing down
The road is gone to the way it was before
And the spaces won't be spaces anymore

Two more farms were broken by the drought
First the Wagners now the Fullers pulling out
Developers paid better than the corn
But this was not the place where they were born

There's houses in the fields
No prayers for steady rain this year
Houses in the fields
There's houses in the fields
And the last few farms are growing out of here

At first he wouldn't sell and then he would
Now they'll be children playing where the silo stood
The word came from the marrow of his bones
It was the last sure way to pay off all the loans

The new streets will be named for kings and queens
And a ransom will be payed for every castle's dream
The model sign is crested with a lion
And the farmers they will have enough to die on

There's houses in the fields
No prayers for steady rain this year
Houses in the fields
There's houses in the fields
And the last few farms are growing out of here

I guess no one should be afraid of change
But tell me why is there a fence for every open range
It's a sign I'm getting on in years
When nothing new is welcome to these eyes and ears

There's houses in the fields
No prayers for steady rain this year
Houses in the fields
There's houses in the fields
And the last few farms are growing out of here

They're growing houses in the fields between the towns
And the Starlight drive-in movie's closing down
The road is gone to the way it was before
And the spaces won't be spaces anymore
And the spaces won't be spaces anymore

Minivans, Decorative pillows, and puking

2007-03-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

I want to thank the man who puked booze on my front lawn while hanging out of his blue minivan this past Sunday morning at 10 am. I was so pleased that you chose my house to honk your horn for extended periods too (how else was I to even find out about your stomach problems!).

My favorite moment was watching you repeatedly wipe your mouth with different parts of a decorative pillow...what the fuck were you doing with a decorative pillow in your minivan??? There was nothing about your ~5'8" 200+ lb appearance that would suggest "pillow" or "decorative". I was more shocked by the pillow then the fact that you were throwing up in broad daylight. I'm guessing by your external phrenology that this was not a particularly rare occurrence. Please, please don't reproduce...although the fact you're driving a fucking minivan implies that some unlucky soul let you fuck them without a condom.

I'm pretty sure based on all that liquid, your accidental horn honking, and the presence of one carrot chunk that seems to be required in every vomit on the planet that you were wasted. Hey dumb fuck, why don't you try sleeping it off before driving? I hope you don't kill anybody.

And yes, I invoked 19th century "science of phrenology" to characterize another human being....in regards to this man, I stand by my ancient science.

Final This American Life reference for 3 months, I promise

2007-03-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

The first episode of This American Life (the TV version) is available for viewing on-line. It must be a marketing campaign. I think it really captures the essence of the radio show. It covers 2 stories from the radio program ~30minutes.

http://www.sho.com/site/thisamericanlife/prevepisodes.do?episodeid=127169

----------

On a more frivolous note, I'm looking forward to watching college basketball with Kansas Alumni at the Spitfire tonight. Fifty KU grads screaming at a TV...sounds great, right?

A monday morning in California

2007-03-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

An update from vacation...
1. Check out this week's show...What I Learned From Television. http://www.thislife.org/

2. I'm staying in a converted barn in Berkeley, happily typing this brief note on a deck enjoying the morning sun, a coffee at my side. The barn faces into a large state park, and watching as the sun moving across a state park this morning has been amazing. A nice riparian zone runs right below me and is the source of numerous bird calls that I am not quite familiar with, at least one coyote, deer, and not too many months back, a mountain lion.

3. My 7 friends are still asleep...not sure why it is but despite being up until 4:30am, I cannot sleep past 8am...the morning light is too great to sleep through. I'll make up the lost sleep another time. Too much to see, hear, to bask in...

4. That is all for now...there is Black Phoebe catching insects nearby and I'd rather watch that for now.

http://www.mbr-pwrc.usgs.gov/id/framlst/photo_htm/Images/h4580p3.jpg

First Vacation in

2007-03-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've been on a social tear of late...clearly this will not last, the realities of research will RISE UP (said in a preacher's booming voice). But until then, I am off to the Bay Area for 5 days to visit several friends, do some hiking, etc....

I am looking forward to some sun (how sad that I am reduced to thinking a trip to Berkeley will be a good source of sunshine). This will be the first real vacation that I have had in 6 years...really? It's true with a large asterisk. I travel a fair bit with my career...research in Australia, scientific conferences, native american professors conferences, and my research in the Olympic National Park. However, I am usually busy or concentrating on logistics during these trips.

This one...my only responsibility is to see my friends and drink wine. It's still not 'a toes in the sand, drink in hand' kind of vacation, but that will happen soon enough.

I forgot to add that this is one of my favorite times of year...the NCAA basketball tourney. Good times...although the repeated showing of that the Chevy commercial with Mellancamp's "this is our country" song blasting in the background makes me want to jab a pencil in my ear.

Rock, chalk, jayhawk, KU.

The Difference Between Art and Entertainment

2007-03-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

By Marc Maron

The other thing I learned about show business recently, is that I think that generally there's a difference between art and entertainment. Yes? Most of the time. Sometimes they meet. Occasionally. But generally not usually.

I recently had an experience that fully illustrates this dichotomy, I guess it would be. I was in Montreal at the Comedy Festival, and they have a lot of street performers in Montreal, a lot of buskers, I guess is the--sort of romantic term for mimes and whatnot.

And I was walking down the street and there was this huge crowd gathered around something in the distance. I couldn't really tell what it was, and as I got closer I saw there was something elevated but I still wasn't clear what it was. And as I got closer and I heard them applauding, I realized that there, in the middle of the crowd, was a guy in a clown suit on stilts, juggling. And people were just ecstatic. It was as if Jesus had come back. They were--oh my God--, you know, climbing over each other to put money in his hat.

And I looked at the spectacle of it and thought, "It's a fuckin' clown, you know, do we need another fuckin' clown?" And then I kept walking down the street and about a block down on another corner there was a guy playing saxophone. He was just standing there by himself and he was brilliant, sounded like Coltrane, just blowing his guts out. Huge riffs. His neck looked like it was about to explode. And no one was standing there, just me and a dancing homeless guy and there was like 50 cents in his sax case and a little stack of CD's. I looked up the street and there's another crowd gathering around the clown and this guy's still blowing his guts out. And then he stops, and I looked at him, and I said, "Jesus man, that was beautiful, was that Coltrane?" He says, "No it's an original, and if you like it so much, why don't you buy my fuckin' CD? It's on there."

"All right," I said. I pick up the CD and I look at it. He says, "It's cut three." I turned over the CD. You know what it was called? It was called "Killing the Clown on Stilts."

And I really think this best illustrates the difference between art and entertainment.

Ryan Phillippe and his forehead 'nubbin'

2007-03-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

After hearing a Terri Gross interview with the director and the FBI agent, I wanted to see the movie "Breach". I've always been a big Chris Cooper fan (check out 'Lonestar'...one of my favorite movies). So the roommate and I went to see it...we were the only two people in the whole theater...which was fun. I screamed in mock fright when the pictures of Clinton and Janet Reno were replaced with Bush and Ashcroft. Enjoyed the movie for the most part, but probably not in the way the film makers intended. Two big things made the first half of the film a little disconcerting and we eventually figured it out.

First, the wife of Ryan Phillippe's character had the worst east german accent (Kevin Costner bad). I can't decide if the role just sucked (quite possibly) or if she's a terrible actress. I generally am not too harsh of critic when it comes to popular movies, but the accent was distracting.

However, the most fun (and distracting) aspect of the movie occurred after I leaned over to my roommate about half way through the movie and said, "Do you see the gi-normous bump on his head." Ryan Phillippe had a huge bump on one side of his forehead. It was insane how big it was (google it...I'm not the only one who noticed). We started laughing at it in every scene. Dialog was missed as we stared at the new star of the show. In two separate scenes, it was obvious that he had it treated to some extent during filming (it then had a big divot in the middle with swelling all around it). The make-up folks must have been working overtime. We started to refer to it as his nubbin' and wondered if Reese W. and him broke up over the nubbin'. I was have expecting the nubbin' to get a film credit at the end of the film.

I will definitely recommend this film to my friends, but I can't decide whether to tell them about the nubbin'. Will it ruin the movie or make it more enjoyable? Any suggestions?

Drunken lebowski fest

2007-03-10T00:55:00.000-08:00

Learned an important blogging lesson tonight...don't blog while intoxicated...too many typos, poorly constructed thoughts/sentences, etc... I tried to read what I posted and it was UNREADABLE!

I just returned from watching 'The Big Lebowski" at the Lebowski Fest, held at the Showbox. It was a lot of fun initially...crazy costumes, strangers celebrating movie, bizarre musical acts, and general sillyness. My costume were unique enough that my photo was taken a few times with strangers. Overall a very odd experience...outside of an occasional pick-up basketball game, I've never been part of a group thing whereby something arbitrary brings strangers together into a bound.

The fun lasted until the last 2 hours when two of my friends became waaaay too drunk. I was thrown back to high school as I began to deal with an arguing couple who's 10yr relationship is likely on the rocks and my roommate who is amorous towards me (particularly while drunk, which she was). I spent a lot of energy trying to manage the happiness of people who were struggling with just being sober. Not good times.

I haven't written about this yet, but my roommate wants to turn our friendship into something more. While I enjoy her company and she's attractive, I refuse to date a roommate period (and I am not interested in dating her after she moves out). It's not a good decision to date one's roommate (even if one is interested), because I feel it amplifies the intimacy too soon. I've been VERY upfront about my thoughts on this with the roommate, but she 'not down with just being friends and me dating others'. As a result, she is moving out soon. Because we are co-workers (grad students in the same department), there has been a great deal of gossip about our 'relationship', particularly now that she is moving out after 8 months.

The nutshell of all of this is that I would like to meet someone new and hope to maintain my friendship with the roommate. I hope my other two friends work out their problems or break-up.

Here's the final irony...we are all committed to doing this again tonight for Lebowski Fest bowling party.

This American Life…last night

2007-03-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

I attended a live broadcast of This American Life at the Paramount Theater. The theme was “What I learned from TV”. Great time…laughed hard to near tears. The show also alleviated my fear that the TV version of the show was going to suck. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve been to a dozen or so NPR related events in the last 10+ years and I have to say that I am always surprised (I shouldn’t be at this point) by the sheer ‘whiteness’ of the NPR crowd. I felt like that I might be a some bizarro-liberal klan meeting. I wonder how many Volvos and Suburu Wagons were parked in Downtown Seattle last night? Quite a few I suspect.

Other highlights of the evening in chronological order…

-Selling my two extra tickets to scalpers for a nice little profit…paid for dinner and drinks last night. I’m not the most experienced at playing the game and I was proud that I stuck to my guns on the initial price. I don’t know if I was sucker or not (let’s just ignore that little voice in my head).

-Having a drink on the theater balcony and watching the streaming crowd of lily-white NPR types, my roommate and I enjoyed being snarky single shits by pointing out couples and playing the game “who’s dating up, who’s dating down?” When I mentioned that someone was probably doing the same thing to us, we both paused for about half a second before simultaneously uttering the obvious…”I’d be dating down.” Which led to a “Jinx, buy me a Bombay and tonic”…which I collected thank you very much.

-In the theater, the roommate gave me wrong directions to the bathroom which led to me to walk out a door whereby I was found myself standing on a 10’x5’ outdoor balcony, 4 stories above the street. I returned back to the auditorium to more than a few snickers from those around me. I think she may have did this on purpose.

-Playing the game: ‘find the minority’ in the crowd. Always a good time and more difficult than you think.

-Making a bit of fun of the band playing on stage throughout the show breaks…it was a husband-wife team that smacked a bit of SNL skit playing drums and piano. She dominated vocals and his voice could only be described as a cross between a cat in heat and a middle-age era castrato…they sang very TAL type music, simple repetitive lyrics and beats...a kind of NPR Punk. Safe and a little folksy.

-“So that’s when I decided to poop on the hood of his car”…you will have to listen to the program when it airs for context. It brought the house down.

-Met up with a couple of friends after the show for more drinks at a nearby bar and guess who we ran into? That’s right, the whole cast of the This American Life was sitting right next to us. The roommate is a total schmoozer and chatted up the performers Ira Glass, David Rakoff, and Dan Savage without being intrusive. Good times.

-Spent five minutes…convincing my roommate and friends that it would NOT be a good move to pitch a story idea to Ira Glass at the bar. Yeah, like he doesn’t get accosted everyday by jackasses that they should totally do a story about “me”. I do have a story that led to a brief 15 minutes of internet notoriety after the 2004 presidential election that occasionally haunts me to this day (thank you google), but I was not going to stumble through a story pitch in the bar and likely ruin this guy’s relaxing evening.

In short, a memorable evening.

Man-kitty lovin' and R Kelly

2007-03-07T01:41:00.000-08:00

This story happened last July.

As many of you know, I ‘own’ a cat. It’s not that cutesy, untrue bullshit about cats really ‘owning you’ cuz cats are soooo above being owned by a lowly human (if you believe otherwise, then you are likely a middle aged woman...sorry mom). I ‘own’ a cat aka Boo/Boomer because my sister and her girlfriend moved onto a new houseboat about a year ago. That’s right…Boo has two mommies…it sounds funny when you say it in a sing-songy playground voice like your teasing him…anyways, I digress. Boo’s two mommies would like to take him, but they are not supposed to have a cat on their houseboat, he’d have to become a strictly in-door cat, he’s 12 years old, happy at Greenlake with his kitty door and his shrubs he likes to spray urine on, etc… So I ‘own’ a cat.

Boo is really a cool cat except he occasionally kicks the crap out of my wimpy dog. I generally keep the cat out of my room to provide a sanctuary for my dog. Boo usually sleeps with my roommate each night (story update: the roommate just moved out…I hate to say it because in all other regards she’s a great human being, but I’m kinda happy she moved out as she was in essence…dirty. And the new roommate, Suzie, brought a sweet big ass flat screen TV, a deluxe espresso machine, and a fancy recliner that massages your back, neck, and even your ass. Again, I digress…it even massages your ass!).

Anyways, a few weeks back the roommate was out of town for 10 days, I was working long hours at work, and after about 5 days, the cat was starting to get lonely for some attention and each time I got home…he was vocally letting me have it and immediately would crawl into my lap for some quality man-kitty lovin’. And yes, I am single (insert inappropriate man-kitty jokes here). This became the pattern each evening until the last night when I drank too much water after playing volleyball all evening. I awoke at 3 am with a desperate need to pee.

Knowing that I had the house to myself, I decided to groggily walk naked to the bathroom. I passed the cat in the hallway and heard a half-purr/half-meow. As I was barely awake, I ignored Boo and proceeded to the bathroom and, foolishly (in hindsight), left the door open. I raised the seat up (cuz mommy raised me right) and proceeded to start peeing in the dark with my eyes closed. Unbenounced to me, Boo decided to follow me into the bathroom…For the record, he has NEVER done this before. It was at this time that I felt a purring kitty rubbing against the back of my legs (an activity which is illegal in most states and rightly so). Almost immediately after I felt the cat pass along the back of my legs, I felt the warm spray of urine hitting my legs and the sound of pee hitting water disappeared for a few seconds. WTF? I realized am peeing on a purring cat’s tail that is between my legs (also illegal in most states). Boo never stopped purring (this fact bothers me to this day), and as a further reward, as he left, he wiped his urine-soaked tail on my right calf. Thanks Boo!

So, it’s 3 am, it’s dark, there’s urine all over the toilet, on my legs, on the cat and the rug (which really tied the room together). Needless to say, I was wide awake. My sister and her girlfriend nearly wet themselves laughing when I shared the story.

My recent idiocy and the communication skills of men

2007-03-07T00:26:00.001-08:00

I like to think of myself as being fairly grounded and not susceptible to the occupational stereotype of being 'a spacey scientist' type, but sometimes I do things that lead to no other conclusion.

Enjoy the bad writing and overuse of parenthesees. Here's the scene:

I play pickup basketball at a small church near REI. It's a private game that I've been apart of for the past 3-4 years...I was invited to play by the husband of a fellow graduate student who I know fairly well, but the other players are mostly strangers to me (actors, film folks, or employees of the Seattle Times). Nice guys for the most part, but I am the weirdo rodent/bird DNA guy while these are non-scientist people. We rarely go out for beers afterwards and as a result, the only thing that I can describe in detail about these people are their respective strengths/weakenesses on the basketball court.

Here's where my idiocracy rises up...
For the second time in less than two years, I left my laptop in the gym after playing hoops. I was home for less than 15min. when I remembered the 3 month old $2500 mac which contains a good chunk of my dissertation, my other writings, and a decade of teaching materials. The case also had a precious manuscript that I agreed to review/edit and various other documents that would not be easily replaced. Yes, I back things up, but several of these things are irreplaceable or would require contact numerous people to resend things.

I dropped a rather large F-Bomb on my entire house (awoke the hounds out of their post dinner revelry). I raced back south and got to the gym within 30min of leaving to find...nothing (fyi: the church/gym also serves as an evening shelter for homeless men who were scattered on beds across the floor). Talk about a stomach pounch. I contacted Jamie and his wife (the couple that I know) and quickly learned that he only knew a subset of the guys (insert joke about the communication skills of men...in my defense, I've only been seeing these people 1 day a week, year round for the past 3 ye...oh wait, dammit!). Anyways, several e-mails and many hours of waiting were required to get the information to everyone.

In the meantime, I completely lost my damn mind. I was embarrassed that I lost something so important and I was now looking for it amongst a bunch of homeless men. I felt like a wealthy asshole who couldn't keep track of his toys and I deserved to lose the computer. I left, returned home, finished eating cold pizza, showered, and began the ocd-checking of my e-mail via the roommates' laptop. Restless and finally, thinking a little more clearly...I realized that I left the church without leaving any of my contact information. I decided to post a flyer with an offer $500 reward...no questions asked. So I returned to the church around 11pm and returned with tail between my legs.

After a terrible night of sleep, I tried to figure out what I lost and what I needed to get through the day of teaching and research. Around noon, the e-mail train had finally went around and I got THE CALL. Laptop found. One of the basketball guys spotted it, rifled through it and recognized my first name (again...he didn't know my last name as I am the weird rodent-bird guy and we are men). Needless to say, I broke out and old school victory dance (including overbite). He refused all offers of money, but I suspect that he will have an easier time scoring against me for the next few weeks.

When it was all said and done, I was made it to teach class in time with my precious, precious computer (say 'precious' like Golum?).

The lesson as always...I am an idiot.